When people betray you

September 5, 2017 | 17 comments

What is a healing response when someone you trusted betrays you? All types of human emotions may knock at one’s mental door after facing betrayal, from astonishment, to amazement, deep resentment, anger, even desire for revenge. But the wisest and most healing course is to return spiritual love.

Jesus set the example for neutralizing betrayal in his treatment of Judas.

Judas had been loved, watched over by the Master, trusted with all the money for the disciples and included in all their events and affairs as one of their own. And Judas totally blew it. He did not appreciate or value what Jesus had to offer. He became extremely selfish minded, turned against Jesus and betrayed him to his arch enemies.

How did Jesus respond?

With love. He harbored no hate, no resentment, no desire for revenge. He said, “Hurry and do what you’re going to do” John 13:27, NLT.

I find it of no value to harbor hate and animosity toward those who betray me. It only harms myself, never them. So, rather than get lost in mental darkness, I pray to love them more. I remember that all the good I could ever need in life comes directly from God, and that there isn’t anything they could ever do to stop that good from flowing directly into my life. My good is not something material that they can take from me. It’s God’s love and care that is ever faithful for me. I let go of personal sense and find peace in spiritual sense.

Mary Baker Eddy highlighted the importance of replacing temporal personal joys, which are subject to loss, with spiritual joy that can never be stolen, when she wrote, “Would existence without personal friends be to you a blank? Then the time will come when you will be solitary, left without sympathy; but this seeming vacuum is already filled with divine Love. When this hour of development comes, even if you cling to a sense of personal joys, spiritual Love will force you to accept what best promotes your growth. Friends will betray and enemies will slander, until the lesson is sufficient to exalt you; for “man’s extremity is God’s opportunity.” The author has experienced the foregoing prophecy and its blessings. Thus He teaches mortals to lay down their fleshliness and gain spirituality. This is done through self-abnegation. Universal Love is the divine way in Christian Science” Science and Health, p. 266.

Choose to love!

17 thoughts on “When people betray you”

  1. This is a hard lesson to learn. When someone I trusted let me down I ran the gamut of emotions you describe in your first paragraph. It’s even harder to forgive and try to rebuild trust. But Jesus set the example when he said “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do”. I would rather love than hate as hate does no-one any good so I agree – choose love – it’s the only way! Thank you Evan for giving us this today.

  2. What a lovely post. Thanks Evan. “Forgiveness” is a virtue and if we are taught to forgive and forget from our childhood days, then forgiveness comes very naturally and effortlessly. Rather it becomes a habit. As even Jesus mentions, that children are pure and innocent and they are very receptive to the Truths taught to them. They are loving, pure, innocent and forgiving. If we have these qualities in us, the gates of heaven open up for us.
    Jesus set a good example for us to forgive. We need to walk in his footsteps if we claim to love him. Evan has showed us such a beautiful way… We gain much good by forgiving..peace of mind, spiritual progress, the love and support of God. Moreover if we forgive then our Father forgives us too..
    I like the way Evan explains..A friend’s betrayal can never stop the continuous good flowing from God. It also brings us closer to God and we learn to rely on His goodness more and more and explore the abundant good that we can find in cultivating our spiritual sense. ‘Happiness would be more readily attained and more secure in our keeping if sought in Soul”
    Mrs. Eddy.

  3. Yes indeed. Betrayer and betrayed slog together in the mire of the personal sense-dream/illusion. It’s the basis of international strife right now, and healing this is healing the world.

    The truth is, as found in Science and Health, “All is infinite Mind [Love] and its infinite manifestation.”
    As my teacher used to say, which part of “ALL” don’t we understand?

    We all need help understanding this. This morning I did lots of research in articles with ‘personal sense’ in the title. Esp. helpful was the 9/29/51 Sentinel — Helen Bauman’s editorial. A thorough treatment. This blog post is the cherry on top! Thank you.

  4. Thanks for this message this morning. It can be a challenging lesson to learn, but the rewards are priceless. As you say, it all goes back to knowing God provides everything we need, all the time; no one can ever take that away from us. Nor can anyone be blessed by trying. But we are always blessed by trusting God.

  5. Yes, thank you, Evan. Timely, as always.

    Conflict between humans always indicates the seeming action of “animal magnetism,”
    which, gratefully, Christian Science is showing us to be an illusory activity, never to be honored,
    feared, reacted to. I so appreciate this teaching. Vital!

    Peace, dear ones.

  6. Thanks, Evan, and all who responded to this blog. Yes, forgiveness is the key and to love one another with the love of Christ. As a Sunday School teacher once said to me when I was struggling with resentment and hurt feelings by what someone had said, “Bless him, and let him go.” It works! I need to remember that advice more often!

  7. Thank you Evan, for today`s SpiritView – what great love and healing is to be found therein!

    And I thank you too, Daphne, for the loving instruction “Bless him and let him go”.
    Very helpful and healing!

    And thank you all for your inspiring comments. 🙂

  8. I’ve always shared this statement, when dealing with betrayal and it’s resulting resentment.

    “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for someone else to die!”

  9. Wonderful post- thank you, Evan- as always!
    Diana I couldn’t find the Bauman arrival you mentioned- do you remember the title? Big hugs to all!!

  10. Another statement like “Bless him and let him go” was given to me by a practitioner once,
    “God’s child! Over and out.” It’s been helpful.

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