Wean and lean

Posted on Nov 17, 2017 | 20 Comments
Wean and lean

At times, I talk with people who feel a heavy sense of responsibility for the care of another, even though the other person can care for themselves. Over time, a false sense of responsibility grows to what seems uncontrollable proportions and the person feels stuck in an onerous routine they wish did not exist.

When this happens, it’s time for, “wean and lean.”

By wean, I’m talking about dissolving a false sense of responsibility for the care of another.

By lean, I’m talking about trusting God more to care for the other person.

Wean and lean.

A caring person wants to help another with a legitimate need. But for the times when the other person can care for themselves, it’s wise to not jump in and do their work for them. Giving them room and space to demonstrate sufficiency and prove God’s care will bless them far beyond anything you can personally give them.

We can wean ourselves from a false sense of responsibility by remembering that God’s resources are readily available to everyone we know. It doesn’t matter if we consider them to be “spiritually minded” or not, God loves them as much as anyone. God is with them, speaking to them, leading them, guiding them and instructing them on what to do that helps the most. Some of the best help we can give our friends is to know that they can hear the voice of wisdom and follow.

Wean and lean. Wean from personal sense, and rely on spiritual sense.

Spiritual sense will guide you best. It’s guided by love and appreciation for the other person’s ability to hear and know what’s helpful to do. It’s also always present with a lending hand in ways that bring about the best results for everyone involved.

Love feels no burden and carries no heavy weight. Love is not self-serving, but God-serving. Love honors the individuality in everyone and brings it out to the glory of God.

Mary Baker Eddy wrote, “To those leaning on the sustaining infinite, today is big with blessings”
Science and Health, p. vii.

Do your friend the most good by supporting their ability to lean on God too, just like you do. Wean and lean. Everyone is better off!

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20 Comments

  1. Dilys
    November 17, 2017

    Thanks Evan! Such words of wisdom! . Bless you for always knowing what we need to hear. Have a great day everyone, weaning and leaning.

    Reply
  2. Shirley Limbaugh
    November 17, 2017

    Thanks for the gentle reminder about false responsibility. Mrs Eddy’s famous quote about leaning on the sustaining infinite is always welcome. Many, many years ago, a C S friend made the same reminder to me and it was a help. We all need to work out with the Father, our own Salvation. Much gratitude

    Reply
  3. Gustavo
    November 17, 2017

    Good morning Evan and everyone. Your article today has reminded me of a Chinese proverb “Give a fish to a man and you will feed him for a day, teach him to fish and feed him forever” It is very beautiful and eloquent and I think that is somehow what you want say in your article Evan. Thanks and much Love for all

    Reply
  4. Lorraine
    November 17, 2017

    This came at the right time, as I’m learning this now while caring for a loved one. Thank you so much.

    Reply
  5. gillian
    November 17, 2017

    Thank you for this post Evan. We are travelling in India at the moment – and weaning and leaning is just the right concept – placing ALL in the care of our dear Fathr Mother who knows the need and is meeting it, perfectly. Namaste to all.

    Reply
    • Ellen Biemer
      November 17, 2017

      How exciting! Have a wonderful adventure.

      Reply
  6. Josef
    November 17, 2017

    Thank you, Evan. That fills a need here.

    Reply
  7. Cynthia
    November 17, 2017

    This post was most helpful. It is so comforting to know that God supports all of us at all times. Thanks so much

    Reply
  8. Barb
    November 17, 2017

    Your thoughts shared today were just what I needed. God always meets our needs.
    I have read your blog for a long time but never expressed my appreciation for all
    you share. Thanks so much!!!

    Reply
  9. CB
    November 17, 2017

    Thank you Evan! I so needed this. It’s so comforting to know God is speaking directly to each individual whether they are spiritually minded or not. We can trust God to love and care for our adult children And loved ones in the very best way. I often think of this quote from the Bible” my sheep hear my voice and they follow me”.

    Reply
  10. Laurie Meinke
    November 17, 2017

    I too am so grateful for your blogs and especially for this one today. So strengthening and uplifting and needed. Thank you Evan.
    LAM

    Reply
  11. LAM
    November 17, 2017

    I too am so grateful for your blogs and especially for this one today. So strengthening and uplifting and needed. Thank you Evan.
    LAM

    Reply
  12. Gianna
    November 17, 2017

    Evan, thank you for this refreshing and important reminder, lifting the false sense of responsibility from our shoulders.

    Reply
  13. Shireen
    November 17, 2017

    “Our responsibility is our response to God’s ability.”

    Reply
  14. Lori Marquart
    November 17, 2017

    I think weaning can also include giving advice where it may not really be wanted. It can be so tempting to share our personal inspirations with a loved one going through troubled times even thought that dear one is not receptive. He, or she, may not want anyone else’s offer of help. For me, I feel that the best I can do is trust all to God and know that His arm encircles everyone including our loved ones.

    Reply
  15. Daphne
    November 17, 2017

    Thanks, Evan. So helpful to share with some family members who need to let go of that false sense of responsibility and lean on God, and to know that God is taking care of all. Thanks.

    Reply
  16. Uta, Germany
    November 17, 2017

    Oh, thank you so much for today`s SpiritView Evan! 🙂

    I agree fully with the ideas in this S/V. When I worked as Christian Science Nurse I was never obtrusive asking if they need my help if they did not ask me for. It is more love, as Evan says, to leave the persons in the care of God who guides His loved one.

    By the way, this wonderful sentence from SH p. VII is hanging at the wall of the reading room of our branchurch in Hamburg – that is so comforting for everybody.

    Thank you Evan, for all your wonderful healing thoughts in your S/V blogs!

    Reply
  17. Nadine
    November 17, 2017

    When I was caring for my parents, who lived separately, I was also raising my two children. It all was so beyond human ability that leaning became the way to go as I put one foot in front of the other. Every need was met. Honoring these people by not interfering ,their lives to unfold to God’s plan, including my children, was an truly awesome experience, beyond anything mortal mind could come up. But I regret sometimes some things I felt I could have done better. ah. mortal mind.

    Reply
    • Uta, Germany
      November 17, 2017

      thank you Nadine for your experience – of course that was gorgeous. The same had I, when I cared for my mother until her passing on. Afterwards I, too, regretted that I was not more friendly in some instances or did not do better in other things. But nevertheless I loved to care for my mother and thank God that I was able to do that. But that is gone and my mother is now cared by God. And today is the pleasant time within divine Love.

      Reply
  18. Curran
    November 17, 2017

    Just what I needed today. Many thanks.

    Reply

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