Prevent hurt feelings

Posted on Jun 14, 2018 |
Prevent hurt feelings

Have you ever suffered from hurt feelings? Maybe someone said something you found offensive, or another person didn’t follow through with fulfilling a promise, or you feel misunderstood by others? Whatever the reason, there is a way to prevent hurt feelings from happening in the first place.

Dissolve human ego!

It’s human ego that feels offended, and the human ego is an enemy, not a friend, to demonstrating harmony and peace in life.

Human ego is weakness. It is the belief of a mind separate from God, operating on its own in its own little world, and subject to offending forces from others.

It’s self-love, self-righteousness and pride that get offended, and these are evils that every conscientious Christian strives to conquer and be no part of.

In Truth, there is one Ego, God. God is the one Mind reflected by all of creation, including you. The one Ego is Love and has only thoughts of Love to dwell on and express. It never beholds evil, never thinks evil, never holds a grudge, complaint or ill-will. The one Ego is never offended, and never has any reason to be anything less than loving, generous, patient and understanding.

There is no selfishness in the Ego of Love, nor any self to defend. There is only God’s Self, expressed as God’s allness. And God can take care of Himself without any help from a so-called human ego.

As one identifies with the one Ego and thinks on how the Ego expresses itself in love and truth with every thought and action, that person is less likely to be offended. They will be quicker to see the good in others, quicker to keep the little ego out of their conclusions, and swifter to offer points of view that bring healing, rather than division, in their relations with others.

There is no need for hurt feelings. They are not necessary. No matter what might come across as offensive, divine Love is bigger. The Ego of Love can see past the offense to the goodness of God at hand to remedy that offense and bring out justice. As Jesus said to his enemies that ruthlessly nailed him to the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34, NLT). Jesus harbored no hurt feelings. He knew better. He released all human ego, went higher to the Ego of Love, and found eternal rest above the human fray.

“I, or Ego. Divine Principle; Spirit; Soul; incorporeal, unerring, immortal, and eternal Mind”
Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 588.

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27 Comments

  1. Diane Taylor-Dickey
    June 14, 2018

    There is no selfishness in the Ego of Love, nor any self to defend.
    I love this powerful but humble statement!

    Reply
  2. Bud
    June 14, 2018

    Great thoughts, very helpful. This made me think of an article written by Mary Baker Eddy entitled “Taking Offense” in her book “Miscellaneous Writings.” An idea that has often come to my aide starts on p. 224, line 17 and reads in part, “Then we should go forth into life…determined not to be offended when no wrong is meant, nor even when it is…”
    This is an effective defense of our spiritual wellbeing, seeing both ourselves and the other person safely held in Gods loving care.

    Reply
  3. Jeff
    June 14, 2018

    Thanks Evan. There is much to consider here. What comes to mind is Mrs. Eddy’s statement that the “adamant of error” is self-will, self-justification and self love.

    As always, I’m grateful for SpiritView and it’s teachings.

    Reply
  4. grace
    June 14, 2018

    What a powerful idea when we are praying about peace in the world to know that human ego does not determine outcome, but that God, the one Mind or Ego is Ruler of Nations. . A definition of heaven in the glossary of Science and Health by Mary Baker Eddy states:
    HEAVEN: …..”government by divine Principle….” (p. 587:25). That would be heaven, wouldn’t it? Nations governed, not by human egos, but by divine Principle (Ego with a capital E).
    Wonderful blog, Evan. Thanks so much.

    Reply
  5. Cb
    June 14, 2018

    I so appreciate this message today, as I seem to be suffering from all of the above- hurt feelings, feeling misunderstood, and annoyed by another’s behavior.
    Human personalities are not the true idea of man- and people have many different backgrounds and upbringings which account for different behaviors.
    As I pray to hear ideas from the One Divine Mind , it occurs to me that instead of taking this person’s actions personally ( ego) , and justifying being hurt and annoyed, ( self- justification), perhaps I could forgive and see them as the loving, peaceful child of God. In fact we both are. No misunderstanding or animosity exists between ideas of God. Whatever the seeming issue was, it really has no real basis in Mind- God. What a relief! The one Mind, can dissolve whatever is false and guide and govern us all. Thanks , Evan for helping me pray about this!

    Reply
  6. Chrissie Addison
    June 14, 2018

    Once again, I find this message timely. When subject to others’ maniacal egos, I can easily react with an even bigger one and take offense thinking I’m distancing myself from their games. What this reading reminds me of is that in doing so I distance myself from one mind.

    Reply
  7. Lori Marquart
    June 14, 2018

    Dear Karen,
    I responded to your thoughtful sharing yesterday of your experience with your mother, but you may not have seen it so I am repeating it today. I really appreciate your response. It’s great that she was not a burden but had much to contribute.

    Reply
    • Karen ank you Lor..I'm so glad
      June 14, 2018

      Thank you Lori…I’m so glad you found it helpful.

      Reply
  8. Dove in sedona
    June 14, 2018

    Thank you Evan. This is such an important lesson to learn. In the chapter in Science and Health titled Recapitulation on page 465 answering the question What is man? Mrs Eddy writes that man is the generic term for all that reflects God’s image and likeness; the conscious identity of being as found in Science, in which man is the reflection of God, or Mind, and therefore is eternal; that which has no separate mind from God; that which has not a single quality underived from Deity; that which possess no life, intelligence, nor creative power of his own, but reflects spiritually all the belongs to his Maker. Whenever I am tempted to feel hurt,emotionally abused, I refer to this definition of who I really am and that it is impossible to feel anything that is not of God.
    Here are some lines from an article I found as I was praying about emotional abuse. It makes an interesting point that was so helpful. Frederic Fridel’s chess computer beat the world class chess champion in a six- game match.The advantage that the chess computer had was through its inability to respond emotionally. “Whereas discouragement may set in after a human opponent misses a round, a temporary negative outcome has no ill effect on Deep Fritz (the name of the computer). Its focus is never broken, but unwavering and constant, as it sees 20 moves ahead beyond the current snag.” The article is titled Checkmating fear and emotionalism by Yvonne Renoult Christian Science Sentinel, March 12, 2007. I am sorry dear readers, I do not know how to put the link into this blog.

    Reply
  9. Dove in sedona
    June 14, 2018

    This is such an important lesson to learn. In the chapter in Science and Health titled Recapitulation on page 465 answering the question What is man? Mrs Eddy writes that man is the generic term for all that reflects God’s image and likeness; the conscious identity of being as found in Science, in which man is the reflection of God, or Mind, and therefore is eternal; that which has no separate mind from God; that which has not a single quality underived from Deity; that which possess no life, intelligence, nor creative power of his own, but reflects spiritually all the belongs to his Maker. Whenever I am tempted to feel hurt,emotionally abused, I refer to this definition of who I really am and that it is impossible to feel anything that is not of God.
    Here are some lines from an article I found as I was praying about emotional abuse. It makes an interesting point that was so helpful. Frederic Fridel’s chess computer beat the world class chess champion in a six- game match.The advantage that the chess computer had was through its inability to respond emotionally. “Whereas discouragement may set in after a human opponent misses a round, a temporary negative outcome has no ill effect on Deep Fritz (the name of the computer). Its focus is never broken, but unwavering and constant, as it sees 20 moves ahead beyond the current snag.” The article is titled Checkmating fear and emotionalism by Yvonne Renoult Christian Science Sentinel, March 12, 2007. I am sorry dear readers, I do not know how to put the link into this blog.

    Reply
  10. Dove in Sedona
    June 14, 2018

    I apoligize that my comments came through twice.

    Reply
  11. Dove in Sedona
    June 14, 2018

    Thank you Ellen for knowing how to get the link to the article into this blog!

    Reply
  12. Bevi, Sandpoint
    June 14, 2018

    One thing I’ve learned about how not to take offense is that the look, tone or mood of another person towards me often has nothing to do with me. It generally has more to do with what’s going on inside the other person! If I choose to feel hurt it is because my extreme sensitivity is a form of conceit (or as Evan says, “human ego”) – I think I am the focus of everyone’s actions! Most often when someone does something that is hurtful or hateful to me, they are really just saying, “I don’t have Love” and they are asking me for Love. And my response can be to Give Them Love!!

    Reply
    • Evan Mehlenbacher
      June 14, 2018

      Bev,

      I love your insight! Thanks.

      Reply
  13. Chatura
    June 14, 2018

    I couldn’t believe the topic today was about preventing hurt feelings! Exactly why I checked my mail,,, to find some comfort in the daily lift or your SPIRIT VIEW Evan! Thank you so much, and everyone else’s comments have been extremely helpful. I feel at peace and know what to do! Bless all.

    Reply
  14. Dove in Sedona
    June 14, 2018

    Dear friends. As I was seeking and praying more this morning concerning our topic today, I was led to find this article which I found to be of invaluable help “Nullifying mental intrusion” by Sharon Slaton Howell~~Christian Science Journal~~ August 1986.

    Reply
    • Uta, Germany
      June 14, 2018

      Hi dear commenters,

      could anyone give us a link to this article, too, please from Sharon Slaton Howell, as mentioned above? Thanks so much for it!! 🙂

      Reply
  15. Mary Ann
    June 14, 2018

    Thank you Evan and Bevi – and all. A keeper.

    Reply
  16. Uta, Germany
    June 14, 2018

    Yes, I had often suffered from hurt feelings years ago.
    Today it is a lot better, but sometimes am struggling with it still a bit.
    B u t, Evan`s SpiritView today – what do English and American people say – hits the mark for me!

    In this matter I had a healing. After this morning I read this post very thoroughly, a bit later I got a fax from a churchmember. She complained that in my reading as first reader yesterday evening I read a passage from SH I should not have read. I expressed understanding for her complaint, and those two sentences I should not have read, ok. But she also complained something else. The error tried to make me hurt in my heart. But this time it could not, as I studied Evan`s absolute inspiring and helpful SV deeply, and that did prevent me from becoming angry.

    The sentence: Dissolve human ego! alarmed my thinking. I immediately knew that I had to dissolve my little human ego and let God`s eternal Ego guide my feeling and my thinking.

    Yes, and I had to let go self-love, self-righteousness and pride, which I did at once! And I switched quickly over to God`s side. I thought, ok will do better next time when reading again. To let go this little human ego enables me, not to be angry at this member, who certainly did mean it good.

    Dear Evan, I am heartfelt grateful not only for todays most precious SpiritView but for all your helping and healing posts!

    And I am also very thankful for all your loving and helpful comments, dear commenter friends!

    Reply
  17. Daphne
    June 14, 2018

    Thank you, Evan, and all comments. This really hit home for me, and causes me to see how careful I must be with what I think about myself and others. We are not mortals with egos; we are divine ideas reflecting the one and only Ego. Thank you so much!

    Reply
  18. Susan Krevitt
    June 14, 2018

    Important topic. Thanks for all helpful comments, and especially for your blog, Evan!

    I looked on http://www.jsh-online.com and found:

    “Nullifying Mental Intrusion”
    SHARON SLATON HOWELL
    From the August 1986 issue of The Christian Science Journal

    When I was five years old we moved into a neighborhood where each home had a separate fenced-in backyard. One day soon after we moved in, I was happily playing in my sandbox
    when bonk! a clod of dirt hit me on the head. Then another. And another. I ran crying into the house to my mommy’s arms. She lovingly explained that there was a small child who lived next door and who probably had no other way to get my attention so we could play together!
    And lo, all these decades later, this lesson remains to remind me that things aren’t always what they seem! And,I take stuff much less personally because of that bonk on the head!

    Help?

    Love to you all,

    Sue

    Reply
    • Uta, Germany
      June 15, 2018

      Thank you Susan, yes your comment helps.

      But your link to that article does not help insofar, that as non-subscriber of the Journal I cannot open it.

      Could you or somebody else give a link which we can open, please?

      Love!

      Reply
    • Uta, Germany
      June 15, 2018

      Yes, dear Karen, your link works perfectly; printed it out already.
      Thank you very much!

      I still wanted to mention, that the foto above is so peaceful, expressing friendship!

      Reply
  19. Tyke
    June 15, 2018

    Wow this was such an inspiration to read your blog today precious Evan and such extremely helpful comments from everyone. I really needed to read this message and comments today. I’m working through a “seeming” situation so I’m so grateful to all today. I realize from what Bevi says that I just need to love more not be offended by not being the recipient of it. The Sun never says to the Earth, “what have you done for me”. It just simply shines forth. I have so much to learn in this spiritual training school here. Thank you again everyone, you’ve helped me so much.

    Reply
  20. Susan
    June 16, 2018

    Thank you Evan and everyone who has commented today. The gratitude I feel for what I learn when I come to Spirit View is profound and so very helpful.

    Reply

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