Find the perfect husband or perfect wife in your spouse

Posted on Aug 10, 2017 |
Find the perfect husband or perfect wife in your spouse

A woman was complaining to me about many shortcomings of her husband and how his actions were making married life difficult in the home. After listening a bit, I replied, “You are married to a child of God, which makes him the perfect husband.”

We discussed further about how seeing God’s man in her husband could bring out more of his God-given nature and make him more enjoyable to be around. It worked. Their married life improved dramatically in a short period of time.

Jesus said about marriage, “let no one split apart what God has joined together” (Mark 10:6-9, NLT). At surface glance, one might conclude that Jesus was talking about two mortals coming together under God’s direction, and then allowing no one or no situation to split that human union. But from a Christian Science point of view, there is deeper meaning to glean.

Mary Baker Eddy wrote, “The scientific morale of marriage is spiritual unity” (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 61). Spiritually considered, marriage is about more than two humans cohabitating. It’s about each partner uniting with the spiritual idea of their spouse. It’s about seeing the spiritual “male and female” of God’s creating in their partner and loving it, cherishing it, honoring its presence and living with it.

When our spouse is living up to less than the divine ideal, at least from our point of view, that is a call on our prayers to see beyond the mortal shortfall to what God put there in the first place. When we are united with the perfect man of God’s creating in our thought, no evil of mortal mind can enter and split that union.

I find it very helpful in my marriage to remember that I am married to the perfect woman—God’s woman. There are no mortal shortcomings in this woman. There is never anything to get upset about, distressed over or anxious about. There is only the love, wisdom, care, and tender touch of God to see and acknowledge. The perfect woman makes the perfect wife for me, and that’s exactly what I find in Kathy, my wife.

If you’re looking for happier times in your marriage, elevate your concept of God’s man, and see the perfect husband or perfect wife in your spouse. It’s there if you look deep enough for it. What God has put in place is never lost or put asunder.

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  1. Uta, Hamburg/Germany
    August 10, 2017

    How extremely loving, dear Evan, for today`s SpiritView; thank you for it!
    One must not be married here on earth to be lovingly touched by your very christly scientific explanations, so good.

    We can also understand it so, that our spouse is Christ or God Himself – the Bible states it so. This might be comforting and making happy those who are unhappy with not being married, and this is the most pure and spiritual unity, as above statement by Mary Baker Eddy says it in Sh p.61. Yes, she means the marriage on earth with this sentence. But you can apply this also to other situations needing this comforting truth.

    Very grateful for being a part of this SpiritView-family, which is comforting and healing 🙂

  2. Rafikka
    August 10, 2017

    Thank you, Evan. This is a perfect expression if Love ❤️

    • Rafikka
      August 10, 2017


  3. Loren Mayhew
    August 10, 2017

    Dear Evan:

    Thank you for this treatment. The admonition to see your spouse and yourself married to God’s spiritual goodness can be applied to more than your immediate marriage. Everyone you meet, great or see throughout your daily activities is made up of these very same good, Godlike characters and virtues. Throughout the day we can perceive the mind of these we see and if you feel any belief of anger, doubt, fear, worry or sickness in anyone, including yourself, trying to cover up one’s real immortal expression, you can at once, as a Christian Scientist, mentally reverse that belief in your own thought. We are called to be angels of Christ; it is part of our daily duty to God.

  4. Jan in New Mexico
    August 10, 2017

    Thanks, Evan, for that wonderful take on the passage from Mark and its correlation in S&H. So, so helpful!

  5. Ellen Biemer
    August 10, 2017

    Thanks for this post!

    During the time I was not studying Christian Science, my relationship with my boyfriend was deteriorating. He wouldn’t go to counseling with me, so I went myself. There, I learned that how I saw him, how I was reacting to him, what I was expecting, how I dealt with him, was the main problem. Not that his behavior was perfect, but I couldn’t control that – I could only control mine. And, once I saw how I was setting up inharmony, I learned to change how I saw him. The result was a much more harmonious relationship, which lasted years longer.

    In hindsight, seeing the perfect man seems like a much more direct route! I’m glad I now (again) have CS to help me meet challenges like this. It’s so much more than physical healing!

  6. SpiritViewFan
    August 10, 2017

    Once again, a hugely important topic in this (seemingly) human life! Thanks, Evan!

    Many years ago during very troubling times in my marriage, I called a Christian Science Practitioner for help. I’ll never forget her first words, a quote from Isaiah 54:5: “Thy Maker is thy Husband…” Whoa! What an arresting idea, from where my thought was at the time.
    To me, my spouse was all wrong…in his thinking, acting, living… I wanted OUT, or for him to change! Thus began my real journey in Christian Science, and continues yet, as I learn of my relationship to God, my real Husband. I am grateful every day for each glimpse I get of this mighty truth of man-and-God’s inseparability and completely harmonious relationship. AND how it relates, yes!, to “human experience.” We truly do live our concepts. As Christ Jesus said, “Repent.” This is, change your thinking, toss out the “old man” (and “old woman”)’s false beliefs for the foundational truth that God is All, and therefore our very Life and Mind, and…Spouse! The “other way” is not a way… and sooner or later we all must learn this.

    God is guiding. (And He continues to guide me, right through this tangled wilderness of belief! Thank You, God! I love being married to You, and seeing You, in increasing degrees, in my human spouse.)

    Love is All.


    • Maximo
      August 10, 2017


  7. Patty
    August 10, 2017

    Have to admit this was one of my favorite “oh wow” lessons in divine order and the life of Jesus: that Jesus reportedly chose a wedding for his first public appearance and with his mother as witness explained the significance of union with the Holy Spirit – complete surrender of the heart, hand and judgement to divine will – before his first miracle in which the Spirit bore witness with him that he was ONE with it.

  8. Josef
    August 10, 2017

    My wife and I were both praying to find a mate at the same time. The outcome of that prayer brought us together. I am very thankful for that gift of God, Spiritual blessedness. Thank you for this post. Though humanly male and female have these seeming different approaches to human problems, our true spiritual reflection is perfect and we can express love for that which allows us to be such.

  9. Bill Gearhart
    August 10, 2017

    Time for me to wake up and express a more spiritual reflection. I have been experiencing negative thoughts for which physicians think is part of the aging process.

    Thank you for raising this message.

  10. Eve
    August 10, 2017

    Thank you for this wonderful reminder! How grateful I am to be joined in spiritual unity with one of God’s perfect ideas!

  11. Sunshine
    August 10, 2017

    I shall also add my gratitude, Evan, for today’s SpiritView message or treatment for it confirms our individual and combined demonstration of the marriage blessing that my wife and I have acknowledged for more than six decades. God is Love and the two of us are happy to reflect His love.

  12. Maximo
    August 10, 2017

    Marriage will become
    obsolete at some point in
    time according to MBE

    It makes no sense to stay together
    If your work together has come to an end.

    Many marry based on descisions made
    From an ‘unenlightened time of life.
    Maybe made more from a material,
    personal sense and as sincere effort to find
    God and your true identity emerges later
    the promises made earlier no longer apply,
    in fact we should not be held to them.
    Maturity and prayer can help significantly
    as two realize this and decide to move on in a loving manner…

    God makes marriage… mmmmm
    Not so sure on this point

    • Uta, Hamburg/Germany
      August 11, 2017

      Hi Maximo,

      I`d like to reply on your comment. Hope you read it still and it helps you.

      On page 64 of Science and Health by MBE – line17-25 you read the following:

      “Marriage should signify a union of hearts. Furthermore, the time cometh of which Jesus spake, when he declared that in the resurrection there should be no more marrying nor giving in marriage, but man would be as he angels. Then shall Soul rejoice in its own, in which passion has no part. Then white-robed purity will unite in one person masculine wisdom and feminine love, spiritual understanding and perfect peace.”

      Maximo, that is in the “resurrection”; we have to work and pray and live accordingly that we reach the resurrection. We can reach it only with God. Christ Jesus managed that already through his Ascension.

      and on page 69, line 10-13 we read:

      “No longer to marry or to be “given in marriage” neither closes man`s continuity nor his sense of increasing number in God`s infinite plan.”

      I hope to help you understand, that in the absolute realm of God, Spirit, there is no marriage. But we are still here and in SH p. 486 line 9 we read the one sentence: “Earth`s preparatory school must be improved to the utmost.”

      I would say, God did not make marriage in our earthly sense, but here in Earth`s prep school we need still the marriage, and why? to understand that in CS you should read the whole chapter”marriage” by MBE, I think that answers your questions.

      Hope to have helped you a little at least 🙂

  13. Elena Shideler
    August 10, 2017

    When things go awry is good to know we shouldn’t do anything with precipitation, that we better look upward and know that God is in charge. When we ask for patience we must wait for it to come, it always comes, God always answers (maybe not in the way we expect) but one thing for sure, His way always will bring the best results. God always put everything in its place, so instead of taking things in our own hands and wanted to end whatever we have, let us wait on God, we will never regret it.

  14. Mary Ann
    August 10, 2017

    Wonderful! A beautiful treatment and expression of love.

  15. Nergish
    August 14, 2017

    Thanks Evan for this very lovely message you gave on marriage. Christian Science surely has helped me in working out the harmony in my married life. Being in Science, I realized this very soon, that marriage is more of a spiritual union. I was asked to read the chapter on “Marriage” before I got married. “Unity of Spirit gives new pinions to joy, or else joy’s drooping wings trail in dust” It was surely helpful. But in order to make any relationship work, a lot of prayerful work, patience and understanding is required. Giving of happiness and understanding will attract happiness to you. A selfish person can never be happy.

    All marriages go through rough weather, mine too did. This happens because two people who come together in a marriage are coming from a totally different background, different upbringing, different lifestyles. Being so used to their own pattern of life, cozy in their own comfort zone, none of the partners want to change. Here Christian Science steps in with lovely pearls of wisdom.

    God has already made man perfect…Ask yourself, am I using my spiritual sense to see this perfection? Material sense testimony is always false. Before I can see the change in my partner I need to change my thoughts about him/her. I need to see him in the perfect light, out of the purity of my heart. Our purity in thoughts can work wonders.

    Do we ever emphasize the good things we see in our partners??? Are we without any flaws??? Dwelling only on the drawbacks does not help. See, cherish and highlight the good qualities you see in him/her, which you yourself may be lacking. Be grateful for the good you see in your spouse and try to imbibe the same in your life. We have a lot of good things to learn from our spouses and grow spiritually. I learnt and am learning to be more patient, understanding and less angry, from my hubby. Perhaps he has learnt something good from me…What??? That you will have to ask him…

    Moreover, knowing and understanding our unity with father mother God, who is the source and centre of all relations, can take your marriage on the road of happiness, peace and harmony. God is always in control and maintains the peace and harmony. “The perfect man – governed by God his Perfect Principle – is sinless and eternal. Harmony is produced by its Principle, (God) is controlled by it and abides with it. Divine Principle is the Life of man. Man’s happiness is not, therefore, at the disposal of physical sense. ” Harmony in man is as beautiful as in music and discord is unnatural, unreal”


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