Life doesn’t always work out the way couples expect after they get married. It takes years to learn about another person in all the small and big ways couples have the opportunity to learn about them. Some of the discoveries may be pleasant, and some may not be pleasant at all. But the neat part is, when marriage starts on a right basis, on a spiritual basis, the couple has a foundation to work anything out together over the long run. And this is one of the major blessings of marriage. It teaches husband and wife how to go to God for solutions, bring those solutions to the marriage, and prosper together.
The wedding vows millions of couples have repeated over the centuries, including the words, “To have and to hold from this time forward,” spiritually interpreted, means to have and to hold the right idea, the spiritual truth, about one’s partner, from this time forward. And the right idea is God’s idea. The morale of marriage is to see God’s idea in your spouse, to see them the way God created them in the first place.
Kathy did this for me in our first few months of marriage. She knew the truth about me. She knew I was generally a very happy, well-adjusted, content individual with lots of promise in different ways. I showed these qualities in our dating time together. I was so happy to meet her and get to know her, that I was happy around her all the time. And this was the “normal” me.
But after the wedding was over and we started to live together on the farm, she started to see another aspect of my experience firsthand that had not been so apparent before. I was very unhappy working on the farm. I did the job well, but it wasn’t the right work for me. It sapped my spirit and joy, and my struggle was bringing unhappiness into the home.
We talked about what to do, and she quickly saw that my heart wanted to practice Christian Science full-time. My problem was that I couldn’t see how to make a living at it, plus now I had a family to support. This felt like a major responsibility to bear on my personal shoulders, with no solution except to stay on the farm and continue to earn.
And this is where marriage started to pay off big-time for me.
Kathy could see more than I was seeing at the time. From her point of view, I had to get off that farm, or else. She was not worried about money. She was not worried about paying the bills. She wanted our marriage to flourish and prosper, and the farm was getting in the way.
She asked, “What do you want to do?”
I said, “Go into the practice.”
She said, “Then let’s do it.”
I said, “We can’t afford it.”
She replied, “Don’t worry about the money. We’ll be okay.”
And that’s all I needed to hear.
It was like God telling me to my face, “Evan, you’ve known for years what I want you to do. Now is the time to do it. I will take care of you and Kathy.”
Kathy’s words validated everything I knew to be spiritually true. I knew God met all human needs, including all monetary demands, but that final one little kick of “Don’t worry about the money. We’ll be okay,” was what I needed to hear.
Over the next several months, we left the family farming operation gracefully, leaving Dad in a good position, moved to Denver, and I went into the full-time practice of Christian Science.
I was one of the happiest men on earth. No kidding. And Kathy was right there with me morally, physically, and spiritually all along—God’s presence at work in my life.
On our way…
I just got caught up on your Alaskan trip and marriage posts. I love how each event was an event of Love. Then how that Love moves us to the next event of Love as you showed. Our journey is graced by man individuals who cross our pats some for a short time, some for longer. Marriage is like that, a gracing. Appreciate your journey that’s blessing many lives. Sher
In my comments to Spirit View, I have told of two marriages that ended up me being a widower. Now I have 4 Nurse Aides taking care of me, one of them, let’s call her Savita Ramcharitar, took care of me since 2002. She is now 45 and I, 75 years old. Both of us took to each other like 2 teen ages in love. She is the only one that stays with me 24/7, even thou she shares an apartment with another aide, who also takes care of me, but only 3 nights per week. Savita calls me dad and treats me like a true daughter. She incorriged me to stay with C/S and not take in the negative attitude of being handicapped. She actually pulled me though depression, but always reminded me that God sent her to me. It’s like a fairy tale story, but this is real. I have tremendous support and sheer joy from this wonderful girl from another country who was led by God to take care of me, and as she says, for the rest of my life. This is just another example of true LOVE.
Thank you so much Evan for these. They are so meaningful and timely.
WOW — Thank You!!! I can hardly wait for the next post.