If any spouse ever told me they never had any troubles in their marriage, I wouldn’t believe them. Every marriage I’ve ever known much about, no matter how wonderful over the long haul, has had its set of challenges. I believe it’s important to acknowledge this. Young couples, on occasion, have had a fairy-land concept of marriage, and when a rough spot appears, they think something is wrong with them or their partner. They might even get dismayed at marriage all together, and give up, often way too soon. But this should not be.
Marriage is opportunity to grow in love. It’s not going to be smooth-sailing all the way. Every captain of a ship knows there are peaceful days and rough days when sailing the seas. One day the sun may be shining bright with glassy topped water as far as the eye can see. Another day, the worst storm ever may be assaulting the vessel, even creating a sensation of sinking doom, creating doubt as to whether the vessel can survive. But when one has the right view of marriage, the storms will be survived, and the good days appreciated even more.
Marriage is not about getting your way.
Marriage is not about your spouse always doing what you want them to do.
Happiness in marriage is not guaranteed just because one gets married.
Marriage is not always easy. It can make rigorous, strenuous and even seemingly impossible demands at times.
Marriage is not to be taken for granted.
A spouse should never be taken for granted.
Happiness in marriage doesn’t “just happen.”
A successful marriage takes work.
But when the marital house is built on a foundation of divine Love, and not just human love, the storms will be weathered, the pressing lessons will be learned, the spiritual demands will be welcomed and risen to, home life will improve, love will grow and the marriage will strengthen.
More to come…
Thank you Evan for sharing your unfolding wisdom regarding marriage. As I was reviewing your ideas I was reminded of the concluding comment most ministers express within the marriage service. It’s these words, “What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.”
I recognized the important emphasis within those words is, what ‘God’ hath joined together not what human will or personal sense, or human outlining hath brought together. When one is caught up in the excitment of a new friendship and deep feelings, that stimulation can be blinding. That’s when we need to step back and calm down to make sure the companionship is truly God’s answer to our desire for right companionship.
I’m delighted that you and Kathy have each other and that you continue to move through this life’s adventure in harmony. And I’m sure your children are grateful too, especially now that they are in college and have a more accurate perspective guiding them.
Thanks for blessing us Evan. Best to Kathy also…..
Evan, I appreciate the sober tone of this one. It’s not a fairy tail, it’s not about getting your way and it’s not about every day being “Happy”. I couldn’t agree more with the abou ve comment, it Definatly has to be what God brings together and that needs to be Abundantly clear!!! Signs of Gods conducting and orchestrating need to be loud and clear throughout the process and line up with what is in our hearts.
It was so nice to hear you take an active devotion to being more demonstrably loving to Kathy on your vacation. The captions and pictures reflect the joy. How we treat each other is really key, on those good days and bad. A wonderful quote from the movie “My Fair Lady” says it nicely, Eliza Doolittle, Audry Hepburn, says ” The difference between a comon flower girl and a lady is how she is treated.”
Hymn 151. O Give me Needed Courage
Sweet with Sincerity
Hymn 179. Love, Love alone is Power
Thanks Evan and Kathy.
My wife and I have been married 38 years. We are deeply in love. We do not have any troubles with each other. Our troubles are related to our now 35 years old who has always been a challenge. This has also cause financial issues.
We have no problem with each other. The secret is three things:
Commitment
The absolute acceptance of each other as we are.
The realization that love is a decision.
We know that we can count on each other and that our love for each other is with question.
Meant to say our love is without question.
Every married couple, I don’t care how much in love they feel for each other, there are still MANY, not sometimes, things that they don’t agree upon. But true love for each other, based upon morals followed in the 10 Commandments and The Sermon on the Mount, will over ride any marriageable disagreement.
Thinking further about marriage, often as a reader in church, or in the congregation, I silently address others “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together, before God, and these witnesses,” striving always to be a witness myself to the wonders of creation, and greatness of the Creator.