Love is open-eyed

Posted on Mar 3, 2017 | 23 Comments
Love is open-eyed

Often times I’ve heard people tell me that they were super loving to another person, but then abused by them, taken advantage of and even cheated on. And they wonder what went wrong? How could they be so loving and be treated so evilly?

I often reply, “Love is not blind.”

Jesus warned his followers about the evil tendencies of the carnal mind. He was up-front and blunt with his disciples when he instructed them, “Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves” Matthew 10:16, NLT.

A dove is often associated with peace, gentleness, calmness. Jesus emphasized the expression of these qualities in his teachings about loving your enemies, turning the other cheek and walking the extra mile. But he also counterbalanced the demand to love with the demand to be wise. Be wise as serpents, he commanded.

Be wise about what? Sin. Sin is the evil that would deceive and mislead.

Sin cannot be ignored. Sin has to be exposed and handled to prevent harm.

When we are in relationships with other people, we cannot ignore major sins that keep surfacing. We can’t pretend like they are not there. They have to be exposed and handled to be neutralized.

Now this doesn’t mean we go around pointing out everyone else’s sins. We have enough of our own to deal with. But it does mean we have to be wise about sin in the atmosphere of thought we work in. We need to face it, be honest about it, undo it with spiritual truth and neutralize it so that we don’t become a victim of it. And chances are, we’ll bless the other person too with our right scientific thinking on the subject.

But first and foremost, we must not be naïve about any sin trying to gain the upper hand. We have to face it squarely and treat it scientifically.

Love is not blind. Love does not overlook a greedy disposition and hand over all its hard-earned funds expecting all will be well. Love is wise.

Love does not cast its pearls before “swine,” before the selfish thought and expect to get them back intact.

Love does not ignore sin. It sees it and conquers it. It acts in such a way that it is protected from it.

To be harmless as a dove is a spiritual demand, but so is being shrewd as a serpent.

Be shrewd and loving. And this will keep you one step ahead of the serpent.

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23 Comments

  1. Nergish
    March 3, 2017

    Thanks so much for the lovely post on how to be wise when in love and go ahead with eyes open. The quote mentioned is so appropriate. “Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves” Matthew 10:16, NLT.
    Yes of course, the person who is very loving needs to be shrewd and wise too, if he/she does not want to land into trouble.
    Evan I like your words . Quote”And chances are, we’ll bless the other person too with our right scientific thinking on the subject.”Unquote … If the person in love acts wisely and is not tempted by overwhelming emotions to venture in the wrong direction, chances are the other person too will be blessed. What a good advice and I am sure it will reach out to all the youngsters..
    I loved the following quotes in your blog. These are pearls of wisdom.
    Quote “Love is not blind. Love does not overlook a greedy disposition and hand over all its hard-earned funds expecting all will be well. Love is wise.
    Love does not cast its pearls before “swine,” before the selfish thought and expect to get them back intact.” Unquote.

    Reply
  2. Béatrice
    March 3, 2017

    Thank you so much, Evan. I am very grateful for this post. It has not been easy for me lately, and for quite some time now, to handle just such a situation. To be loving, but wise also…. So, this is quite helpful. I am just wondering how to be kind in spite of the dishonesty… how to stay polite… Sometimes, I do not know if it’s really malice or just foolishness that is displayed…

    Reply
  3. Curran
    March 3, 2017

    This is very wise counsel. It sums up my problems in several personal relationships, where I yearned so much to feel loved, that I overlooked clear and major problems. I didn’t recognize at the time that I was ignoring clear signs because of this yearning. However, divine Love could be described as holding my hand while I prayed my way to better views of myself and others. It’s better to listen to the promptings of divine Love and not fall in a hole in the first place, than to fall in a hole and struggle to get out!

    Reply
  4. Jan in Rio Rancho, NM
    March 3, 2017

    Oh yes, and everyone is blessed.
    Thanks so much!

    Reply
  5. maximo
    March 3, 2017

    Carnal mind can be defined as of the flesh, worldly, sensual….
    Most would be reminded of lust, sex, sensuality, temporal pleasure.
    Although these are in need of understanding, Christian Science kinda skirts the subject.
    For instance, what are we to use as a guide to form wholesome ideas about
    intimate relations between husband and wife, or between loving friends.
    Well a good starting place is to unlock the mystery of gender…
    The idea of God as Mother…Father…added to, We are created in Gods image, implies
    we all have masculine and feminine qualities…that these are Spiritual ideas…
    Being lost in sensuality is not desired because it can blind one to the beauty of the spiritual idea behind sexual union… So my question is… can the act of physical union between two
    be cultivated and transformed into an expression of a spiritual idea?

    Reply
    • Evan
      March 3, 2017

      Hi Maximo,

      As two people stay focused on the real meaning of love, the unselfish caring and sharing, and seek the higher joys of loving one another unselfishly with thoughtfulness and care for one another, their relationship has a good opportunity to stay healthy and progressive. If the goal is to mostly indulge the senses, the relationship could eventually fall apart or weaken for there is little spiritual to hold it together. But if the motives are spiritual, to live and know true love, there will be increasing basis for the relationship to prosper.

      Reply
  6. Barns Rebecca
    March 3, 2017

    WOW! THANK YOU!!!

    Reply
  7. Robin Kadz
    March 3, 2017

    What about Matthew 5:40 “If a man sue thee at the law and ask for thy coat, give him thy cloak also” and if he asks you to go one mile with him, go two…
    Are we to hang onto the human?

    Reply
    • maximo
      March 3, 2017

      This a great question Robin…..
      Human, material man with mortal mind as its mind are illusions
      and the antithesis of the Divine Spiritual idea of Man….Yet we find ourselves
      in an experience which looks and feels very material and human….
      MBE instruction of Divine mind, which she scribed to form Science and Health,
      as proportionally changing the equation from mortal mind to Mind….She coined the term ‘chemicalization’ to describe the spiritualization of human thought, to that of thought originating in Mind. She also described what we conceive of as a goal, is already a present eternal reality, in other words , we will never become more spiritual than we are right now in this very moment….
      So while not hanging onto the human, we can learn a subtle lesson from the life expression of Christ Jesus…namely….as a human, we can realize divine Mind enough so it can overshadow human mind and illusion to the extent instantaneous healing demonstrations can be presented. Divine Mind has no knowledge and therefore no respect for physical laws governing time or matter.

      We can do this as humans, but with a mind overshadowed by Mind…Gods Mind.

      Good luck with all this…. for even though we all work individually to realize Truth and dispel illusion, we are also supported and Loved and assisted because we are also One.

      Reply
    • Shelley
      March 3, 2017

      Thank you Evan!

      Helpful to look at the word demonstration, what is being demonstrated?
      (to clearly show the existence or truth of (something) by giving proof or evidence)

      So, we can look at Jesus and his example when he says …”By their fruits ye shall know them.” Matt 7 16-20

      Therefore we can see what is being demonstrated without naivete, (lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment) impersonalize it (not personal; without reference or connection to a particular person) and listen for the guidance and direction from God and be obedient.

      xxo

      Reply
    • Evan Mehlenbacher
      March 3, 2017

      Jesus also taught us to not cast pearls before swine–to not allow the selfish thought to devour and destroy wholesome goodness.

      One way to interpret the above is to never hold a grudge, form a resentment, or carry a complaint in thought about your neighbor. To love them no matter what! But love doesn’t necessarily give another everything they want. It gives what is needed to produce a spiritually progressive result.

      Reply
  8. Bevi, Sandpoint
    March 3, 2017

    HOORAY! HOORAY! HOORAY! This is a subject that usually gets very little attention in Christian Science or maybe even in most religions. We, as Human Beings, are so anxious to be Loved, thought well of and to not hurt others, that we often let others deceive, trick and hurt us. This, for me, has been one of the downfalls of C.S. and Christian Religions. We are usually taught only that Jesus Loved Everyone and that we should, too! We are very rarely taught to be alert and to take care of ourselves and to SEE the evil that others are trying to perpetrate on us. Why? Because most of us don’t know how to handle evil or animal magnetism. Mrs. Eddy taught it, Jesus taught it, but it’s gotten dropped out a lot from C.S. and other religious teachings, because it is not fun or easy work! To be able to see evil and THEN to know how to dissolve it with Truth and Love is a quite advanced spiritual tool that most human beings have not been taught how to do. I have been in Codependence Anonymous for years where I have learned how to have “boundaries”, how to love and stick up for myself, and yes, even to put myself FIRST! Woo Hoo! I am responsible for taking care of myself, with the help of my Higher Power. Also, learning how to, “Detach with Love” – which is another tool not easy to learn. Loving ourselves first and not always trusting others is a good tool to have in this world. Let’s face it folks, there are people out there who don’t have our best interests at heart and we need to see it and be alert to protect ourselves and then, maybe, to heal it. But the most important thing is to protect and love ourselves FIRST! Denial is a very powerful tool that humans use, unconsciously, for many reasons…..mostly because it often hurts to see the truth and most of us don’t want to feel any more pain! Thanks again, Evan, for bringing this subject to the forefront! We can also use this knowledge to be alert to what’s happening in our Government and in many World Governments at this time. WATCH! Be Alert! Don’t be Deceived! Let’s keep our eyes open and not be fooled by “wolves in sheep’s clothing!! Amen! Much Wise Love to All!

    Reply
  9. Carol
    March 3, 2017

    How very true… all of the points you made, Evan. I think, we as humans, tend to want to see the good in everyone, without realizing there are those who seem to be taken over by error who would corrupt us from within. I think it can be likened to watching tv and commercials. If you watch a commercial enough times, you may be tempted to believe you will catch such and such or you Need to go out and purchase this or that. If we listen to a lie enough times, it may Seem to be the truth. Evil would prey on us by taking advantage of good natures if we let it. We must keep our eyes open to what is Really going on. There is much good happening that often gets very little attention because the negative many times is forefront but not necessarily true and usually not. mortal mind is definitely cunning and tries to sneak in on us with every attempt possible. It seems there is so much visceral hatred in the world today, instead of Love. What we may think is the truth, may not be. But eventually Truth will prevail and we will all be the better for it.

    Reply
  10. Autumn Forsberg
    March 3, 2017

    This reminds me of an article in MBE’s Miscellaneous Writings entitled “A Cruce Salus,” which includes the following:

    O friendly hand! keep back thy offerings from asps and apes, from wolves in sheep’s clothing and all ravening beasts. Love such specimens of mortality just enough to reform and transform them, — if it be possible, —  and then, look out for their stings, and jaws, and claws; but thank God and take courage, — that you desire to help even such as these. Mis. 294:17

    Our Leader understood the need to be “wise as serpents.” Yet I still find it difficult to reconcile a human sense of caution with the call to love wholeheartedly that Christianity impels. The line above seems so contradictory with this one: “Jesus beheld in Science the perfect man, who appeared to him where sinning mortal man appears to mortals.” (SH 476:32) I suppose it’s the same old difference between the spiritual and the material, the absolute and the relative.

    Evan, I so appreciate the breadth of challenges you cover here. We often don’t have another opportunity to discuss these difficult topics. I remember when I took class instruction, all of the earnest discussions about difficult topics – coffee, sex, relationships – everyone was so eager to discuss the questions that no one asks!

    Reply
  11. MB
    March 3, 2017

    Thank you to Evan and all those who have commented. Like Autumn, I do struggle with ‘seeing the perfect man’ and yet recognising that we need to be watchful.
    Where I live it is a common experience to receive one or usually more telephone calls each day from people trying to defraud, and I have been trying to keep in mind that God’s man is honest, whilst being alert to the need not be taken in, which feels somehow contradictory.
    I too appreciate so much reading all the postings, as I do not have anyone to discuss CS with.

    Reply
  12. Autumn
    March 3, 2017

    I also just happened across this, from Misc:

    And remember, a pure faith in humanity will subject one to deception; the uses of good, to abuses from evil; and calm strength will enrage evil. But the very heavens shall laugh at them, and move majestically to your defense when the armies of earth press hard upon you. Misc 338:15-19

    Also, MB, re fraudulent phone calls, check out James Veitch on youtube – a very funny young man who responds to fraud with humor.

    Reply
    • chilesands
      March 9, 2017

      Autumn,
      James Veitch catches the hidden lies behind fraudulent callers with such a vivid sense of humor, his humor teaches lessons but with a sense of fun that all can understand. Love his thoughtful pauses, as he searches for truthful, unconventional responses to LIES.
      Thank you for the referring me to the youTube performances.

      ever, with giggles!

      Reply
  13. Bevi, Sandpoint
    March 3, 2017

    Great Topic! Great Comments! So nice to be able to say….”I Love Being Human…..and having a material body, a material mind, feelings and emotions and the ability to see, hear and feel matter!” I’ve been told that I need to love my HumanHood first before I can even begin to be willing to shed the concept of a material ego and material body and material history. Maybe, just maybe…..it really is OK to just be Human for now and to learn and enjoy the lessons that come with this Human Adventure. It is quite a Pleasure and a Wonderful Thing to Be Here in my Body! So much to learn from this Human Adventure and I refuse to beat myself up for being a mortal any more!

    Reply
    • Evan Mehlenbacher
      March 3, 2017

      You definitely should never beat yourself up! You are a wonderful fabulous awesome creation of God. Love your neighbor as yourself includes learning to love yourself too. But the comfort in a material body, that you mention, is not so comfortable for many. When disease and pain hits and seems to take over, it’s not fun at all. Experience cries out for something better, and that’s where spiritual truth helps. Understanding our spiritual individuality at-one with God can bring healing to that mortal body and take the suffering away. All of us are so much more than a temporal physical body. That’s the truth I like to fall in love with.

      Reply
  14. Bevi, Sandpoint
    March 4, 2017

    Thanks so much for this, Evan! I was hoping you’d respond……..as I was playing the “devil’s advocate” a little there! Sometimes I really DO wonder why we are trying so hard to deny matter….it often makes me feel guilty and sinful – that it’s basically wrong to be here with a material body……and yet I think that’s “old theology” – right? Why are we trying so hard to see everything spiritually…remind me again! Is it because we are working out our Salvation and if we don’t get it right this time, here on this earth plane, we’ll just have to keep experiencing it over and over again…??? What is Jesus’ teaching and Christian Science trying to accomplish? Is it really “sinful” to be born as a mortal? I noticed you used the word “sin” a lot in your Blog and I find that very distasteful as most of us already are too filled with shame and guilt from our childhoods.

    Reply
    • Evan Mehlenbacher
      March 4, 2017

      When I use the word sin, I’m just referring to wrong thinking. I suppose people who were raised in a church that preached brimstone and fire would shudder at the word. I’ve never had that experience, so perhaps not as sensitive as I could be to where others may be coming from. I’ve learned from experience that’s its healthy and good to correct wrong thinking. Things go much better! No need for condemnation. Just loving thought to a better place.

      And with matter, I find your experience interesting, because it’s not my experience. I spend very little time denying matter. Hardly any. Why? Because I’m not impressed with it. I’m more impressed with God’s presence–the presence of Love and Truth. That’s what I focus on. Matter is just a limited view of what exists spiritually. So, I choose to see past it, to what is really present as God’s creation. Everyone is going to discover someday that they are wholly spiritual. That they never were mortal. I’m working on it now. It heals to see past mortality to immortality.

      It’s Spirit that keeps you alive, even this moment. Spirit is your everything. You really do have an immortal individuality this moment that you will always have. The mortal comes and goes. It’s a finite view of the immortal, but the immortal is forever.

      Go for the good life–the immortal! It’s the most fun and enjoyable!

      Reply
      • Uta, Hamburg/Germany
        March 5, 2017

        Coming just from our Sunday service here in Hamburg – what a good and wonderful lesson about the real and spiritual man without any sin.
        Thank you so much for your above very inspired and true and healing explanation Evan ! 😉

        Reply
  15. Bevi, Sandpoint
    March 5, 2017

    Thanks, Evan, for sharing your Views!!! Wish I could get there, re. not feeling guilty and sinful about matter and mortality and having a body. Think I picked up a lot of “old theology” as a child, from my parents’ views, even tho’ they professed to be Christian Scientists and raised me as one my whole life. Sometimes we do get distorted views from human parents who haven’t really worked out their “stuff”, but our instead “stuffing” it and putting on an outer coating of religion i.e. Christian Science. Everyone needs to find what fits best for them re. their understanding of God and what makes them feel the most loved and comfortable and on friendly terms with God. Everyone should have the opportunity to really know and experience God as Love, and to feel loved by God, but it has to come from within and not from a religion. Thanks again for all you do and are doing to bring Light and Love to People and the Planet! Much Love!

    Reply

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