Very lovely quotes from the Bible and Science and Health. Truly speaking, only our good friends take that risk to correct us and when they do so, we shall be glad and humbly accept our drawbacks. There is no question of feeling offended. But many do feel offended and wronged. Then one feels “Oh they are mature enough to know whats right and wrong. Why should we interfere in their personal life.?” In such a situation I am at a loss to understand how to go about telling friends to stop their indulgence in wrong doing.
But looking back, it’s always the dearest friends who’ve looked me straight in the eye and said, “Oh, POOR Diane,” mocking some self-pity, and incinerating it on the spot, or “You know, I’ve found this essay helpful. Have you read it? You need to read it.” And that verse or writing from the books gets right at the heart of something I was missing and longing to understand. MBE says, “If mortal mind knew how to be better, it would be better.”
We have to be so concerned about our friend’s happiness, not our own discomfort with their faults, that we open the door in their false-self-absorption to the angels that will free them. It really has to be that longing love, though, expecting the best of others, seeing their right to freedom, honoring their true, beautiful selfhood, Self-righteous and self-interested anger would make a reality of the problem and glue it to them, and it always hurts to pull away something glued to us.
Sometimes the most effective response is not an outright correction, but an inner conviction that Christ is speaking to them helping them find the right way. That they can see for themselves what needs to be corrected, and that they will happily correct it. After all, that is part of their nature as a child of God, to want do right and the ability to see and do right. And the purpose of prayer is to see and understand this truth better.
My empathy ends when I expose a fault and they take it as an insult. To insult them is my God-given duty, not to insult is to allow the enemy, mortal mind, to take over
Ah, SO important ! And beyond the obvious is the need for confidence that I am the expression of divine perfection. And that CONFIDENCE in Gods’s love allows me to be HUMBLE enough to appreciate correction. . . . and TO RESPECT others for their willingness to help me with their perspective. . . . and to be “VULNERABLE”, i.e. RECEPTIVE to consider / honor their suggestions. . . . and to remember that “God is still speaking, …” to teach me, maybe in the voice of friends. . . . and to always be a GOOD STUDENT, i.e teachable ! . . . and not arrogant or prideful. Hardy THANKS.
Perhaps, to comment to others about the good they express would bring pleasantness to both parties feelings. I called attention to my wife’s goodness and her never taking offense to what others do; I asked her how she can always be this way. Her reply was a perfect lesson for me: “I don’t know any other way to be.” And so it is true. We have been married for 58 years.
Thank you, Evan for your caring, sharing, and doing.
I love Evan’s response to his quotes and the responses of readers. Sometimes the best response to feeling a need to rebuke a dear friend is to pray about it and do what Mary did- let the angels tell him (Joseph).
I have learned that you cannot teach anyone anything, after years of trying to help. A cup of tea, a listening heart, and prayer while someone tells you their woe is about all you can do. I remind myself that everything is already all right and God is right there in spite of what it looks like. I have seen amazing things happen with just faith the size of a mustard seed.
Very lovely quotes from the Bible and Science and Health. Truly speaking, only our good friends take that risk to correct us and when they do so, we shall be glad and humbly accept our drawbacks. There is no question of feeling offended. But many do feel offended and wronged. Then one feels “Oh they are mature enough to know whats right and wrong. Why should we interfere in their personal life.?” In such a situation I am at a loss to understand how to go about telling friends to stop their indulgence in wrong doing.
But looking back, it’s always the dearest friends who’ve looked me straight in the eye and said, “Oh, POOR Diane,” mocking some self-pity, and incinerating it on the spot, or “You know, I’ve found this essay helpful. Have you read it? You need to read it.” And that verse or writing from the books gets right at the heart of something I was missing and longing to understand. MBE says, “If mortal mind knew how to be better, it would be better.”
We have to be so concerned about our friend’s happiness, not our own discomfort with their faults, that we open the door in their false-self-absorption to the angels that will free them. It really has to be that longing love, though, expecting the best of others, seeing their right to freedom, honoring their true, beautiful selfhood, Self-righteous and self-interested anger would make a reality of the problem and glue it to them, and it always hurts to pull away something glued to us.
Sometimes the most effective response is not an outright correction, but an inner conviction that Christ is speaking to them helping them find the right way. That they can see for themselves what needs to be corrected, and that they will happily correct it. After all, that is part of their nature as a child of God, to want do right and the ability to see and do right. And the purpose of prayer is to see and understand this truth better.
My empathy ends when I expose a fault and they take it as an insult. To insult them is my God-given duty, not to insult is to allow the enemy, mortal mind, to take over
Ah, SO important ! And beyond the obvious is the need for confidence that I am the expression of divine perfection. And that CONFIDENCE in Gods’s love allows me to be HUMBLE enough to appreciate correction. . . . and TO RESPECT others for their willingness to help me with their perspective. . . . and to be “VULNERABLE”, i.e. RECEPTIVE to consider / honor their suggestions. . . . and to remember that “God is still speaking, …” to teach me, maybe in the voice of friends. . . . and to always be a GOOD STUDENT, i.e teachable ! . . . and not arrogant or prideful. Hardy THANKS.
Perhaps, to comment to others about the good they express would bring pleasantness to both parties feelings. I called attention to my wife’s goodness and her never taking offense to what others do; I asked her how she can always be this way. Her reply was a perfect lesson for me: “I don’t know any other way to be.” And so it is true. We have been married for 58 years.
Thank you, Evan for your caring, sharing, and doing.
I love Evan’s response to his quotes and the responses of readers. Sometimes the best response to feeling a need to rebuke a dear friend is to pray about it and do what Mary did- let the angels tell him (Joseph).
I have learned that you cannot teach anyone anything, after years of trying to help. A cup of tea, a listening heart, and prayer while someone tells you their woe is about all you can do. I remind myself that everything is already all right and God is right there in spite of what it looks like. I have seen amazing things happen with just faith the size of a mustard seed.