Over the years, I’ve worked hard at not being judgmental. I’m still working on it! The temptation to render judgment on a neighbor who acts contrary to one’s expectations can feel so compelling at times. But Jesus wisely taught, “Judge not,” for God is the judge, and it is wiser to leave the fate of one’s neighbor in God’s able hands than to think one can do a better job of controlling them through harsh criticism.
This is not to say we aren’t to distinguish between right and wrong. We are! But there is a difference between discerning evil thoughts and pointing them out from pinning evil to a person and condemning the person rather than the evil. We are to impersonalize evil and handle it as a state of mind that needs to be reformed rather than a neighbor who needs to be corrected. There is a subtle, yet huge and critical difference.
One subtle temptation to judge that often sneaks in, though, even when one is trying diligently to not judge, is to be critical when another is critical. It can feel so self-justified. Yet, it’s still very wrong.
For instance, if you are minding your own business, having a good day, thinking grateful and healthy thoughts, and you overhear a co-worker spewing criticism at another worker, you might be tempted to judge. You had nothing to do with the darkness they vent, but because you were in ear-shot, you took it all in. And you think, “That person is very critical!” You might even begin to think lowly of them for being so negative. And feel very justified in your judgment.
Aha! You just broke the rule of “Judge not.” You criticized them for being critical. You labeled them as an evil person and started harboring evil thoughts toward them.
And this is a pattern we want to break in our practice of Christian Science. Our goal, to be a healing influence, is to always hold the perfect man in thought, so that we can demonstrate more of God’s ideal every day. We have to keep our consciousness free of negative criticism to do this even when we are not the source of it.
So when others criticize and I catch myself criticizing them for being critical, I pray to remember that God’s man is not critical of his neighbor. God’s man reflects the Mind of God that sees the good in others, honors it and shows gratitude for it. In Truth, there is no evil mind that looks for evil and points it out. There is the one Mind of God that beholds good and sees goodness everywhere, all the time, and in every way. I pray that my neighbor can’t be blinded to the good in their neighbor, that they can see it and respond to it positively.
As Paul wrote,
“…you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same things” Romans 2:1, NRSV.
This is a very humbling rule for the human ego to honor, but it works and it heals. The quicker we separate all evil from our neighbor and treat it as unreal and powerless over our neighbor, the less we will be used by the same in evil in our thinking, and the sooner the whole world will become a better place for everyone to live.
We can bite the tongue of criticism and love instead. It has the better effect.
Boy do I need this. I’m trying but dang it isn’t easy. Thanks for the helpful hints and to know I’m not alone in this. YOU SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN THIS EARLIER. :->>>. Kidding.
Thank you! This is just what I needed – right now, today! I had recognized the step of not voicing evil judgements on others, but I needed the reminder to not even allow the belief that others can be critical, and sit smug, almost like “the Publican and the Pharisee” in Luke 18 – where the Pharisee “prays” with the words, “God, I thank thee that I am not as other men are…”
It is hard at times not to be revulsed by the actions of others. But I know that when I have any reaction, I have joined them. I have used a technique of pulling back my sight, as one would pull back a camera lens, and watched, if I had to, as if it is a bad movie. Maybe not spiritual at first but it gives me a distance and time to align my thinking to the Truth.
Good one Evan. Whenever I have slipped into this judging myself or others, I’ve always been wrong and regretted that action. It is so easy to do because we want to uphold divine principle and when we encounter someone not upholding this principle we instantly recognize it, but to label them as something other than God created identity is a big mistake for everyone involved. As you so poignantly point out, it imprisons ourselves to the wrong idea.
Thank you so much, Evan, for this! What comes to mind here is a paraphrase of what Jesus said: “Be wiser than serpents and gentle as doves.” I’m just coming out of a relationship experience where I let the serpents of mortal mind pull me down instead of “being wiser than the serpents” and taking a stand for what is Good and True and gently taking action to remove myself from the relationship. Needing to “see” the evil or serpents of mortal mind First and Then unsee it and take appropriate action. I was also thinking of how Mrs. Eddy said once to a Class of hers, in regard to looking at Animal Magnetism: “Today, we are going to build something up to tear it down.” (paraphrasing…)
Thanks Evan for this reminder. It’s fundamental. I need it desperately.
I found this passage helpful this morning from p.62 in Unity of Good by Mary Baker Eddy:
“. . .God, good, is never absent, and there is none beside good. Mortals can understand this only as they reach the Life of good, and learn that there is no Life in evil. Then shall it appear that the true ideal of omnipotent and ever-present good is an ideal wherein and wherefor there is no evil. Sin exists only as a sense, and not as Soul.”
And on page 62 of Miscellaneous Writings: “Holding the RIGHT idea of man in my mind, I can improve my own, and other people’s individuality, health, and morals; whereas, the opposite image of man, a sinner, kept constantly in mind, can o more improve health or morals, than holding in thought the form of a boa-constrictor can aid an artist in painting a landscape.” The rest of that passage is amazing, too.
We are so blessed to have these directives! We’ll find ourselves in a beautiful landscape, not in a nest of boa constrictors!
This Hymn comes to thought.
God is working His purpose out as year succeeds to year…..when the earth shall be filled with the glory of God, As the waters cover the sea.
Yes, God is working in us to do His will. Thus the reason why we become better and better at this practice.
Thanks much Evan and to all.
Thanks so much Evan for pointing out the many ways we unconsciously pass judgement
and also “criticize others for being critical” (that’s a sneaky one)
Isn’t criticizing like the story, “THE BODY SNATCHERS?” Making one do that he wasn’t created by God to do? Then why should we condemn ourselves and not the suggestion?
Boy, this is just what I needed yesterday. Not meaning to be critical, I just silently, without saying anything, corrected the actions of someone – a simple rule of etiquette in setting a table that I thought everyone knew – the placement of silverware. It’s how all restaurants do it. The other person was defensive and I tried to simply explain the reasoning behind it. However, in hind sight, I wish I had just left things as they were. A lesson learned and to be remembered!
Thanks Evan! I started following this blog about 2-3 years ago and I feel in that time I have become less judgmental, more forgiving, more patient, etc., because of blog postings like this one in which you alert us about things to “watch” out for and correct in our thinking. Our thinking is like gas in an engine. If the gas in an engine is contaminated with dirt, water, etc., the engine won’t run well. Similarly, if our thinking is contaminated with impure (un-God-like) thoughts, our experience will reflect that in a lack of harmony. So I really appreciate you making the effort to help me purify my thinking. And I still have a long way to go, so please keep posts like this coming! lol
Great analogy! Thanks
I am trying to remember this poem I once read. I don’t know who wrote it….
I see myself as God’s own child
As perfect in His sight.
I see my brother man, as well
As a perfect child of Light.
Then to complete my prayer,
I see him seeing me aright,
I see him seeing me seeing him
As perfect in Love’s sight.
WORKING TO DEMONSTRATE THIS PRAYER DAY BY DAY, MOMENT BY MOMENT!!
I was told this by a practitioner, when complaining of being criticized:
“Never criticize the criticizer.”
Thank you Evan for a much-needed reminder – “when pointing the finger, there are three pointed back at me”. I caught myself bristling this week when a relative kept offering unsolicited advice and a lot of “you shoulds..”. I felt offended and resentful until I woke up to the fact that I do the same thing when befogged into thinking I am offering help that is really veiled self-righteous criticism. How I truly appreciate Mary Baker Eddy’s emphasis on Jesus Christ’s request to “watch..(watch..watch) …and pray”.
Thank you Evan, for this precious blog.
I have been endeavouring to see myself and my neighbour as the image of LOVE, so incapable of expressing sinful tendencies.
Your message will help me to expand my reasoning, and to cherish what I contemplate.
You hit the nail (ha ha me) on the head with this. Thank you Evan. I had just come down on my husband for being “too critical” oh that I had just stopped there, but I did go on and on. Now I am understanding I was the one who was judging, I am so touched by your words of wisdom Evan and feel so fortunate to be able to read these everyday. Thank you thank you 🙂
Thank you Evan for these good ideas. (=
And thank you for all the helpful comments too! (=