For better results in building healthy relationships with others, if tensions start to build, and there’s a temptation to get emotional and angry, put a check on the human ego.
Be wise to not react with negative human emotions.
Pray first (it can be a quick prayer), find peace, and respond with truth and love. The outcome will be far better for everyone.
Very difficult Evan sir when wholeheartedly n sincerely one puts an effort to save the relationship with respect n even love , but the other side don’t understand and sometimes puts you down. After all human element tempts to react with resentment or sometimes harsh words or sometimes we feel so low for the expectation being not met. Moreover not in relationships but in normal routine even if someone comes late or don’t do work upto our expectations (whether at office or at home, reactions immediately come— means shouting at others or anger.
Thanks for the wonderful words not to react for our peace of mind n harmonious relationships n healing purpose as well.
The only resort to follow the Truth and Prayers consistently.
I think if we pray ahead of time and we are already at peace then the tendency to react is less. We pray for poise, equanimity and balance. We have these by reflection. As Paul says, “none of these things moves me.”
Thanks a lot. Pray ahead of time to have calmness in every situation and then nothing shall move me.
Excellent❣️
I love that reminder Evan.to not react to people place or things but stop and respond to Truth. MBE says “Revenge is inadmissible “. and I love this too “Responsibility is responding to God’s ability”
Thanks a lot. Responsibility is responding to God’s ability. Inspiration for me to be responsible in my behaviour as reflection.
This is a very challenging area for many of us, myself included. I like that Evan calls it a temptation (to get emotional and angry), and the temptation is directed at the human ego. What we truly are, as God’s calm, balanced, peaceful expression, contains no human ego, so there is nothing there that can actually be tempted. Temptation or Inspiration, which way do we choose to go?
Well put Rose, by pointing out how challenging the temptation is, but laying out that it’s a false temptation, pointed at the “human” facade we put on. BEING God’s calm, balanced peaceful expressions, leaving out ALL human ego, allows us to freely LOVE, SHARE, UNDERSTAND where we exist, as well as how to react by opening a door, while leaving out temptation from the human ego to act less than LOVING, Staying calm, perfectly balanced, and expressing peace works out. Thank you for sharing what can be a hurdle for some, like me with my children, my neighbors, or others in unexpected interactions. Love is the ROYAL WAY.
Sarah used the word, grace. My Teacher
said, grace is spiritual poise.
The Lord’s Prayer.
“Give us this day our daily bread.”
Daily poise.
MBE’s spiritual interpretation,
“Give us grace for to-day” poise, loveliness, tenderness,
These God qualities expressed, will, “feed the famished affections.”
Grace is a favorite word. Now to live grace-filled
every momen
Thanks Evan for our, grace-filled, SpiritView.
Thank you Evan and everyone who commented.
Just what I need for this week and today. “I walk with Love along the way”
Respond only to God’s Truth then all experience will be very good.
Thanks.
There is a wonderful quote of Victor Frankl: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.”
Thanks for the quote Lindajane. That space makes all the difference, that moment before we react, we can extend that moment and take a breath and remember who and what we are, and who the other person is — both the children of God. I know I need more healing in this area.
Stephen Covey wrote in his book about Habits of Successful People that he found this quote in his doctoral work on studying successful people and the quote jumped out at him. It made me realize that we do have a choice instead of thinking “I couldn’t help it.” Or “they made me angry.” There is that space, or few seconds, when we choose our response.
Thanks for responding.
Thanks. one of my favorite old authors and speaker. Holocaust era.
Many thanks for all the inspiring comments.
I am thinking that as we begin our day by protecting our thoughts, we can also be knowing that as all our thoughts come from God, and are all loving and pure, when error speaks nothing has
been said – and equally when error acts, nothing has been done. God is responsible for
all our thoughts and actions, and we are all His reflection. So any unpleasantness is
not a real part of anyone and has no power to affect us. The true man as the image of
Love is always the real man, and we will find that if we love as Christ Jesus taught us to do.
There is a very helpful article in Miscellaneous Writings by Mary baker Eddy
called “Taking Offence”. I find it really helpful to read this from time to time to
remind me that we can remain un-phased by anything that matter throws at us,
It has no power to affect us unless we react to it, so to respond with love, is the
most effective way to deal with it. There is no power against Love.
My teacher told us, “Don’t react, reflect!” This has been a wonderful guideline for all of my interactions with children, family, colleagues, church members, neighbors, store clerks, etc. I still need to progress on not reacting to the news—to evidence of injustice, dishonesty, unscrupulous behavior, violence, hatred, despair. I know this tendency must be dropped to better see what God sees and knows in every situation. Thank you, Evan, and all, for the wonderful inspiration here on Spiritview which daily feeds my soul, my spiritual sense.
Love that idea: don’t react, reflect.
That’s easy to remember. And then we can ask what should I be reflecting for this situation?
There’s a bunch of spiritual qualities to draw upon. Compassion, patience, grace, understanding, empathy, Truth of perfection of other person and me…It’s kind of a creative process which makes it fun. Could respond with humor. Lightheartedness.
Long ago I decided to not be offended, but remain loving and interested in other’s opinions that differ from mine, hoping to have a conversation, not an argument. Christian Science study brought me into the light of God’s powerful gentleness in dealing with controversy. I am ever grateful to learn of Science from a high school friend so many years ago. Blessings are all around us.
In years gone by there were many times when this wisdom would have very much
been helpful where reactions with negative emotions and anger seemed justified,
but are now thankfully just a blur, but sometimes now find myself being upset with
– my own thoughts – in putting myself down.
Still having opportunities to relate to others like in stores, chatting with strangers or
store clerks that make things harmonious helps putting human ego out of the way,
with kindness, like today with such accommodating help in the hardware store where
salespersons were so friendly.
The Check Engine light came on in the car 45 minutes from home, but the car ran fine
in getting home safely. Ominous storm clouds ahead dissipated, also. God’s protection
and Love is ever with us.
I have often been a “reactor” or “reactive”, but more recently I have held to the fact that Love (God) is non-reactive, therefore as Love’s idea or reflection, I am non-reactive.
I have a list of what Divine Love (God) is, and a list of what Love does / is doing… this really helps set my thought right in the morning. So, when I realised that Love is non-reactive, I wrote it at the top of my “What Love is..” list and when tempted to react in family situations, I have remembered that Love Divine is non-reactive & so poise and grace have been the effect. No more reacting, more a listening to God’s good ideas! So grateful
Verity thank you this is perfect. “Love (God); is non-reactive, therefore as Love’s reflection, I am non-reactive.” This sets me free from struggling to humanly control a human temper, which clearly does not work. And then feeling bad when I didn’t control it successfully. I see that I have nothing to do humanly, just remember that I can’t react because Love is non-reactive (that’s just the truth of my real nature). Takes away the belief in human power and puts it squarely back to the truth of one power, God. Case closed!
Thank you Evan and really wonderful comments! The past week or so I have been cherishing the idea of everyone being unblemished as God’s children.
MAN UNBLEMISHED by Mary Shaw Brock:
The lonely leper stood apart,
Shunned by all.
The Master gently touched him,
And he stood tall,
Healed by the love of one who saw
Man unblemished in God’s perfect law.
One of my favorite inspiring ideas I love to practice is “I respond with the healing Christ and the healing Christ responds to me” Thanks to Evan for creating this awesome healing platform and for all the wonderful inspiring ideas we share with each other every day. All must be well.