Family is a whole unit! Every single member is equally needed and should be treated that way for a family to flourish.
This truth struck me deeply while praying for unity in a family divided by personal opinion, criticism and callous treatment between husband and wife.
It’s too easy at times for pride and ego to start getting uppity about its position and role in a family and believe that one person is more important than another family member. This should not be.
Marriage is not about “Who is the greatest?” It’s about “How can I love more!”
Love is what makes a family work. Love is what flourishes a marriage. True love is what unites, harmonizes and makes family life a joy.
When division starts to occur in a family or marriage, the demand is often to love more and understand the all-inclusiveness of Love better.
Family is not many members standing in their own corners. Family is a single solitary unit where every member is equally valued, important and vital to success.
But how often do family members love less and separate from the family unit when the going gets tough? It’s ironic… Human ego flares, self-righteousness bloats, hurtful opinions flow, anger erupts…these are exactly the opposite of what needs to happen for a family to be saved and strengthened. They allow mortal mind to enter the home, divide the family unit into units and isolate members from each other.
To prevent this from happening, human ego and its bitter opinions needs to be silenced and love let in. To demonstrate a successful family, one cannot afford to take sides, get in a battle of ego, and take up arms against another family member.
Family is a unit, not units. The idea of family is one and each member is part of that oneness. A member of a family does not stand alone, ever. He or she is part of a vital spiritual unit of Love that can never be broken and in which every member is equally valued, treasured, needed and wanted.
Family is not a lonely experience. It is free flowing, nonjudgmental, unconditional and all-inclusive love in action. Family is an opportunity to learn love better and practice its demands.
Love doesn’t isolate itself and it doesn’t take sides. Love wraps its arms around everyone, squeezes hard, and keeps the unit together. No one is left out.
Every single family member is important to Love. One member is no more important than another. The idea of family can never be broken. It is eternal.
Family is a unit of wholeness and completeness where no one is left out.
Amen!
Ah, sounds like a church family, too, Evan!
How did you know that last night I began preparing Wed. night readings on PRIDE? 🙂
I found several instances of Jesus having to remonstrate his dear disciples for thinking that “who is the greatest?” bears any weight in the kingdom of heaven!
Thank you for your VERY helpful thoughts.
Your description of family is truly inspirational. I wish with all my heart that I could experience it.
Coming from a family where the mother was a Christian Scientist, and the father came from traditional “old culture” roots, where the males were considered superior, and a father’s wish was a command to all other family members, I was pondering whether your model family is only possible if all family members are thinking in the way you described.
As a Christian Scientist, my mother tried to handle the constant family tensions by practicing the teachings of CS, meeting aggression with love, yet to us children (two daughters) she appeared to be constantly giving in to the bullying tactics of my father, and he continued to behave in the same domineering way throughout his life, without any alteration. As we grew into maturity, my sister and I also prayed about the situation. I became a student of CS, and my sister prayed according to her spiritual discipline. Of course, my father was not believing in the concept of family as you describe, Evan. While the family experience ended up being extremely destructive for all of us, my mother claims to this day that she profoundly loved my father, despite all his faults.
All this has left me feeling confused and disillusioned. I believe that your description of family is the only true way for a family to flourish. But only if, for a start, both parents are honoring the same God- inspired principles and belief-system. So many times, I have seen bullying personalities lording it over gentler natured people. In fact, this family experience has greatly shaken my faith in the effectiveness of CS to heal in such cases.
Is there a way for such a “family” to be healed, changed into the harmonious model you describe?
To above,
Experiences as you describe certainly underscore the need to pray diligently and patiently before getting married to be sure one is marrying a compatible partner who is going to truly love them and treat them as an equal. Marriage is not to be entered into lightly.
But if already married, and challenges arise like you describe, yes healing can happen. But it may take deep courage and strength to stand up to the error that needs to be addressed. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve seen mean harsh husbands turn into caring thoughtful men. Christ can do anything. But it may take substantial prayer and fasting to see the healing through. But then again, it doesn’t have to be a long drawn out process. Right is right and wrong is wrong. Know the difference, and the sorting out is easier. Of course, one who feels misunderstood needs to be sure ego doesn’t enter on that side either. Human ego, self-righteousness, etc., need to be stomped out and God allowed to take the lead.
Hope that helps.
Much love,
Thank you, Evan. Your response helped greatly.
Just one query – I was wondering what you meant by “fasting”. I presume you are talking of fasting in a spiritual sense. Could you please explain what you mean by this term.
Gratefully,
Fasting from anger, impatience, despair, discouragment…anything that would hold thought down and prevent it from rising in Truth and Love and bring about healing.