Some time ago, I was listening to the story of a woman who felt she didn’t fit in. She listed off all the reasons why she was different than everyone else, why nobody liked her, at least from her momentarily depressed point of view, and why she was an oddball. “I’m never going to fit in,” she lamented.
Listening for a comforting reply after she finished, I blurted out, “Oh, that’s okay. I don’t fit in either!”
Quickly scanning my own personal history, I saw many instances where I did not fit in with people around me. In school, I was not athletic at all, so didn’t fit in with all the sports oriented guys. I always have had strong faith in the power of prayer to heal, which has brought scorns and disapprovals from many around me. I don’t drink or smoke, which sets me apart from a large bulk of the population. And I could go on and on…
Most everyone likes to be part of a family of people who share common interests, can laugh and cry together, support one another and be there for each other when help is needed. People like to “fit in,” for many reasons.
But there’s a downside to the desire to fit in that needs to be guarded against. If fitting in requires us to compromise our morals, sacrifice our ideals, and live dishonestly, the effect is harmful and not promotive of happiness and well being. We are unfair to ourselves and to those around us.
I look to the life of Jesus Christ for guidance.
Jesus did not “fit in.” He stood out. He stood out and above worldly ideals, material motives, and selfish pursuit. He lived for God’s approval, not for mankind’s. He strove for spiritual ideals, heavenly reward and eternal life. He did not strive to fit into the world in anyway. In fact, he left it behind, and taught others to do the same. Why? Because he knew one couldn’t serve worldly ideals and spiritual ideals at the same time. They work against one another. One seeks the approval of person. The other seeks approval of God. And approval of God is what matters in the long run.
In as much as I don’t “fit in,” with many people’s way of thinking, that doesn’t mean I don’t have plenty of friends. I do. I don’t have to share everything in common with another to love them, see the spiritual truth about them, shake their hand with joy, and be there to help when needed. We all can do the same. Love knows no boundaries or obstacles.
There is one God, and one family under God. Each of us have God’s approval already, and we feel that approval as we live true to our lovely spiritual self.
As far as God is concerned, each of us already fit in. It couldn’t be any other way.
“With one Father, even God, the whole family of man would be brethren; and with one Mind and that God, or good, the brotherhood of man would consist of Love and Truth, and have unity of Principle and spiritual power which constitute divine Science.” Mary Baker Eddy
Part of the great mystery is how we are all one in Christ, yet we are all unique.
I Corinthians 12:12-20
For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ. For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit. For the body is not one member, but many.
If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. And if they were all one member, where were the body? But now are they many members, yet but one body.
I was speaking with a Buhdist and he was talking about how the goal is to lose your identity and become one with the universe. I told him that in Christ, we lose the ‘old man’ (false identity), and put on the ‘new man’ and become one with Christ, while still being unique members of the body of Christ. This is our high calling and privalidge.
Great point about not fitting in with the world. We are to be unique in Christ, where he as made us all fit together in him!
This was a perfect thought to awaken to this morning. It seems to me that not fitting in–being alone in this world–is an epidemic feeling these days. Institutions which individuals formerly sought out for safety and protection are crumbling…the idea of the individual as the backbone of society is re-emerging…and it sometimes seems as if my back can’t take any more burden! But knowing that I am one with a Divine Power helps to at least diminish, if not eliminate, feelings that I’m alone and ‘don’t fit in.” Thanks every day for your helpful thoughts, Evan.
thanks evan,
this is exactly what i needed this morning to remind me that the only approval i need seek is my Father Mother God’s, not any human’s.
We are all our Father/Mother God’s children, how can we not fit in by putting God first.
I read a quote from Alan Cohen which seems to fit with this story – speaking as one who often has fitted in either. It goes something like this “what you think is missing is what you need to express.” From a position of hindsight I can see this is true – I thought I didn’t fit; what I needed to express was appreciation for and curiosity about everyone’s uniqueness, as well as an unconditional acceptance of everyone just as they are.
Very nice. Thank you!