I got permission from a friend to share her story of a recent experience she had while wrestling with not having a husband around to help. She’s a single woman, and happily so, but…
She wrote:
…In thinking through a problem in my house that needed resolution, I asked myself what I thought I was missing. The thought burst into my thinking, “A husband.” I was surprised because I’m happy being single, and have never had finding a husband as a goal. But clearly I felt I was missing something.
As I prayed, I started to think I was missing the boat on expressing the completeness of masculine and feminine qualities in my home. I hated my messed up garage and wished I had a husband to deal with it (I know, there are a lot of assumptions in that line of thought!!).
The “man cave” was a total mystery to me and as much as I tried to get the garage under control I just didn’t know how too, so it ended up being in a constant state of disaster. Probably not a big or unusual problem, but it irritated me every time I went in there. Not a good way to start and end each day!
The contractors had left it partially finished and I had tried to get it done for several years but to no avail.
As I prayed about this, I really started to groove on remembering my completeness as God’s image—with a full gamut of masculine and feminine qualities to reflect—that I didn’t lack anything special in my home, and that God was in control of the situation.
I started to feel a really cool peace about it all, and then my phone rang. A college-aged son of a friend of mine was on the line. He told me he had a couple weeks before school started, needed to earn some money, and wondered if I wanted him to finish my garage.
Oh, so cool! My prayer was answered!!
Four days later, my garage was insulated, the sheet rock finisheded, and all at a price I could afford.
He spoke fluent “garage,” and got all my tools organized and storage straightened out. He was so loving and thoughtful. He compared prices, got accessories that were right for my space, and talked me out of things I didn’t need. The work is absolutely beautiful.
I feel so satisfied and complete about it all. That “inner husband” really worked out!
I don’t mean to be flip or critical, but I am married and have unredeemed spaces like this all over my house, barn and yard. I could use an
“inner husband.” Nice to know prayer is an option. Better than nagging in so many ways.
Amen, anonymous!
I’m with Anonymous. If I’d married my husband to get my garage cleared out I’d have been very disappointed in him. Gender stereotypes are persistent aren’t they! I know a woman who is an ace with tools, she’d have had that garage sorted in no time and with a similar consideration re prices etc.
Tangentially, I was helped by the phrase “man cave”. My husband and I share a small condo in a beautiful area. His messy little office space can drive me crazy, if I think about it too much, try to organize it, or edit any of the contents. I do pray with the idea of Principle being in control, but the idea of “man cave” reminded me that perhaps my husband needs to define a space of his own, in his own way. Thanks!