How do you respond when people are downright mean to you? Not just discourteous, thoughtless, or impolite behavior, the little ways that evil sneaks into relationships, but the big ways, like betrayal, malice, fat out lies, and slander?
Malicious attack can feel difficult to deal with because it often feels so personal. When someone blindsides you with false accusations, questions like, “How could they do that? What were they thinking? How could someone be so mean and evil?” clamor for answers.
The definition of malice is intent to kill—some type of moral, mental, emotional or physical assassination. Everyone faces it eventually in some form.
So, how to deal with it effectively and not let it get to you?
I find it helpful to remember that malice is not part of man’s nature. God did not create anyone inclined to treat another maliciously. Therefore it has no power over man, the victim or the victimizer.
Jesus knew this. He was treated maliciously countless times, but interestingly, he taught his followers to respond to these thrusts of evil with love. “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” How could he respond to dark evil in such a positive way? It’s because he understood the unreality of all forms of evil. If it wasn’t from God, it had no power over him. Love possesses all power, he knew.
Malice is an error in the make-up of mortal man. It’s no truer about man’s God-given identity than a disease. It is one of mortal mind’s “dis-eases.” We must not fear it.
It feels personal when ego gets involved. When we react with pride, self-righteousness, or self-concern, we get afraid, are offended, resent and even return in kind. If so, then we are in need of healing too. When offended, it’s not because of what another did, but because we have some human ego stuff we’re dealing with internally that needs to be routed out and displaced with humility and love. And that is a healthy activity to engage in! This is how our enemies bless us.
So, don’t let malice impress you. It’s a drama of mortal mind that tries to intimidate, terrorize and destroy, but it cannot touch a consciousness of Truth and Love that knows God is in control, not evil.
Impersonalize it. Deny it power and influence. Don’t be afraid of it. Like David standing up to Goliath, fearlessly address it with truth. When your thinking is right with God, God backs you up, and the Goliath claims of mortal mind fall to helplessness and embarrassment. And you come out unscathed.
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;…” Matthew 5:44
This has been a great help to me. Thank You! I have just recently found your sight and “love” it.
This is so needed. I have struggled with this with one person in particular at my office. I love what Mrs. Eddy says in one of her writings, and I am paraphrasing, “Love your enemies or you will never be rid of them.”
I mean I found your “site”. Sorry for the misspelling!
Thanks Evan for such wise and loving counsel. Your explanation is very easy to understand and to accept ‘Love your enemies’ as a very worthy goal that is achievable.
This post actually helped me to completely overcome feelings I had from an incident that occurred last week. When I was fueling my car, a man became very irate because I wasn’t going fast enough for him. He called me some very evil words. It took awhile to get past this. Your explanation just sealed up the healing for me. Thanks, Evan.
Sitting with my precious Mother as she is passing, there has been maliciousness and betrayal expressed within the family. This has been one of the greatest challenges to face with love, although I make effort daily. This post is a remarkable support for this process, and helps me to see where my own work is: the feeling of offense! Thank you, I will work with diligence!I love your blog! Andrea