“Marriage is more than finding the right person. It is being the right person.”
~ Unknown
Often, single men and women have held to the ideal that if they could only find the right person to be with, they would be happy. While it certainly is true, that finding “the right person,” can lead to a happy fruitful union for decades to come, abundant attention needs to be paid to being the right person.
“Love is reflected in love,” Mary Baker Eddy wrote. I love this statement of truth because it reminds me that love starts with God, and continues in my expression of that love. I don’t have to wait for it to come to me.
The love we express has a way of generating more experiences of love in our everyday life, and attracting conditions of love that bless us. It’s not a sit-around-and-wait passive stance, but an active up-and-doing state that demonstrates its own ideal.
Healthy relationships thrive on forgiveness, compassion, generosity, unselfishness, care and kindness. These qualities flow both ways in a mutually beneficial companionship and are an ideal to be cherished.
We can’t control what our neighbor does, but we can control what we do. By being clear on our own standards and living true to them, it has a way of bringing us together with others who cherish the same ideals and live true to them as well.
The right person getting together with the right person…
I have this poem on my wall
The Art of Marriage
A good marriage must be created.
In the marriage, the little things are the big things…
It is never being too old to hold hands,
It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once each day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together and facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is a common search for the good and beautiful,
It is not only marrying the right person,
It is being the right partner.
Thank you Evan for reminding me where this starts.
Sue
Thank you for sharing this, Sue. I googled it to see who wrote it, and there is a slightly longer version, attributed to Wilferd A. Peterson. I found it here, for anyone who is interested: https://lifelessons4u.wordpress.com/tag/the-art-of-marriage-poem/
Wonderful reminders. . .
Thanks you Sue for the lovely poem on marriage. I have always admired seeing “older” couples walking hand in hand.
Thanks Evan and Sue. I am one of those “older” couples that holds hands when walking with my dear husband. And I love doing so.
I agree that being the right partner is so important in a relationship. If we are true to who we are then we can only bless that relationship. And a happy marriage is about blessing the other person. Marriage is not a 50-50 partnership, it is a 100-100 partnersip each giving their all to the relationship.
I printed out both your comments as I have a son and a granddaughter both who recently got engaged and am sending them a copy of what you both shared. I think what these messages say to us is very helpful and important enough to share. Thanks again.
Thank you Evan, and also, Sue for the addendum. My wife and I still hold hands, and speak “I love you” many times throughout the day. That’s beyond 6 decades since we met. We are both grateful for each other. “The right way wins the right-of-way, even the way of Truth and Love_____” Mary Baker Eddy, MY 232:6.
Thank you Cammie for the link. It is good to know the author and to read the full poem.
I am blessed with getting along with my fellow beings. I put forth that law of Love and respect that is so very important.
At age 18 a young man who I “thought was it” walked away from me. A freshman in college, my mortal feelings (heart) was broken. My dear Mother, a devout C.S. walked the walk with me. Her prayers helped heal my heart break, I could once again focus without “him” on my mind. Within 6 months her prayers (and my learning to trust in God’s guidance) brought the man who was to be my devoted husband for the next 64 years right into my sphere. God’s love affair blossomed, protected this kind and loving man through WWII in both the European War and subsequently the South Pacific War—he was in both theatres of battle. After 19 months he came home to me and we had the most fabulous, loving, adventuresome, wonderful life. He joined the C.S. church so our home was always blessed with God in our home. I saw “him”40 years later and knew that God had guided me right into the arms of a loving, kind partner.
Today, I live with Isaiah 54: 5 “Thy maker is thine husband.” Daily, I feel God’s warm and loving embrace–the same God who brought me the right companion–when I put human desire aside and turned whole heartedly to God for guidance. My cup truly runneth over in gratitude to God for His wisdom, guidance and love.