Have you ever felt like a failure? All of us likely have at some point. But I’ve learned a lesson that prevents a feeling of failure. It’s learning to set goals you can always reach whether you measure up to some material standard of success or not.

A feeling of failure settles in when we don’t reach a desired goal. The goal may be of our own making or of someone else’s.

For example, if you expected to be married by the age of 27 and you weren’t, you might be tempted to feel like you’re doing something wrong, a failure. But the feeling of failure is purely of your own making, not of God’s. God doesn’t care if you’re married or not. He loves you all the same.

Or if you expected to earn $60,000 a year, live in the suburbs and own a house by age 35, and events didn’t work out that way, you might think you’re a failure. But not by any standard God ever set. It’s not salary or status that amounts to anything with God. Spirituality is the key to eternal good. The disappointment is purely of your own making.

And on and on….

This need not be.

True success is not about material goals reached and achieved. True success is always measured spiritually.

The book of Proverbs asks, “Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not?” (Pro 23:5).

The ultimate prize is eternal life. All the things of the world we could ever accumulate, all the prizes we might ever gain, all the recognition, fame, and prestige we might acquire are as vapor in the long run scheme of things. They do not add up to substance that endures. They are as shadows in the night that pass without leaving a mark behind.

If you want to really live a successful life, seek objectives that bear immortal fruit and put you in a good place in the long run. Seek spiritual mindedness, love, spirituality and closeness to God. You can seek these goals and reach them no matter what kind of material circumstances and conditions you face.

Rather than seeking money, seek spiritual understanding, riches and immortal wealth. You can still strive to perform in your position and achieve higher rank, but if your primary goal is to grow spiritually and be a better person, thinker and doer, you will never feel like a failure because you can reach these goals no matter how fast or slow you advance on the pay scale.

I learned in tennis that I inevitably meet an opponent who is better than me. He wins. I lose. But I’ve learned to never judge winning by who gets the most points. I judge it by how much better I play than the last time I played. Did I improve? Did I learn lessons I can grow with? Did I become a better person for the match? If I can answer yes to any of these questions, I walk off the court a winner whether I got the most points or not.

The same rule applies to you, measure success in spiritual terms. Strive for increased spirituality above all else. Set goals you know you can reach no matter what kind of opposition you face, and you’ll always be a winner.