Like I wrote yesterday, I am very busy in my work, so it takes constant effort on my part to be sure I’m spending enough time, and the right kind of time, with my kids. Thankfully, my wife stays home and that helps immensely. We talk about everything concerning the kids, discuss the issues of the day and work out solutions. She has her “ear to the ground” more than I do because she’s physically on the scene more than me. But I still have to do my share.
One practice I took up years ago was to watch for harmony, peace and health in my children and in the lives they were living. I have a standard in my thought that I expect to see expressed through them, and if the outward evidence of it starts to lack or wither, I stop what I’m doing, listen, talk, pray and watch more carefully to discern the trouble and then work to heal it.
For instance, I expect good grades from school. That’s a sign that they’re leading a productive academic life. I expect to see them healthy, well and strong everyday. They are both active in sports. I expect to see them express a lot of joy, cheer and goodwill in their attitude. I expect them to have a healthy social life, to make friends easily and get along with others. I expect to see a smile on their face, a bounce in their step and good reports coming back from their teachers. If any of these start to lag, there is an issue somewhere that needs to be dealt with.
And these issues have varied all over the map from “I hate school,” to “My boyfriend is giving me grief,” to “My best friend won’t talk to me,” to “I hurt my leg in swimming,” to “Life is boring,” and many others….
Anything negative that develops in our children’s thought is error, not normal or right. It’s God’s design for our children’s mind to be filled with positive, uplifting, spiritually inspired points of view that bring great love, peace and joy into their lives. Parents should be on guard on behalf of their young children to catch anything negative that starts to develop, and quickly eliminate it with truth and love.
Jesus instructed, “Watch!” And he meant, watch for the good. When our watch for the good is faithful and persistent, anything negative that tries to jump in will instantly stand out to us. And we can quickly correct it.
So, I spend much time on my Watch for the kids. I doubt they even remotely realize it, but I watch from wherever I sit, whether in the living room, or 3000 miles away. I pay very close attention to their state of thought. I constantly watch for the good to be there, and if it isn’t, I know I need to immediately apply my prayers and efforts better to help them find it again.
A faithful Watch prevents many troubles from developing in the future. Like yanking a weed out when it’s a dinky seedling. Its lot easier to remove it when small then after it grows into a monstrous lanky bush.
Thanks for this blog, and we as parents should never be far from our watching position. Thats very true.
But honestly, Im little scared about what you as a father expect from your children and their life.
Sounds as you would see them as your own creations. Doesnt your exact belief how a “good one” has to be tell the God the rules (and not the opposite)?
His ways are higher than ours. Dont know, but for me, I would be more satisfied by understanding my roll as a watcher- parent (Im a mother of six) when I turn completely from the human story and just focus God and Man in his image and likeness, beyond all, what I think it has to be.
The result might be the same, but without the danger to try to get the God IN my human belief about the creation….
I love your examples of watching!
It is something I’ve only recently begun to value.
As one who has had to engage in major overgrown weed removal projects I appreciate the ideas of how to keep them down. Great analogy!
It reminds me of what MBE says about choking negative errors in their early stages if you would not cherish and army of conspirators against health, happiness, and success.
I’m excited to try this with the kids/people I know!
Thanks for sharing.
Hi Iris,
Hmmm…interesting take you had on my blog. I believe I’m thinking in a different way than you may have picked up. I don’t outline my children’s lives. I hold in thought what I know God has already endowed them to live fully. God created His/Her children healthy, strong, wise, intelligent, active, productive, and so on. My role as parent is to bear witness to these qualities expressed in God’s children. To do that, I have to hold the model firm. If I do not, lesser ideals and standards have a tendency to crop in and take their place. How these qualities play out in terms of activities embraced, talents honed, skills developed, etc., I do not outline. That’s all in the hands of however divine Love’s blessings individualize in their experience. And that’s between them and God.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Evan for correcting a mistaken perspective in your response to Iris.
Great blog, appreciate your spiritual and healing thinking
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Thanks, Evan. It’s just what I needed.
Good thoughts to think about in response to my first grade son’s discouraging comments yesterday about all the hard work in first grade.
Just wanted to thank Iris for her comment, and also Evan for his reply. I appreciate her willingness to share her thoughts on the blog-content, even when she disagrees with the author. I find this dialogue adds richness to the blog and furthers my spiritual growth. Thanks Iris.
Katie
Amen. If one person thinks it, another hundred probably do too…so its good and healthy to get all issues out into the open and talk about them! We all grow together.
I love the idea of “yanking a weed out when it’s a dinky seedling”. I can use this in many situations. What is your take on the parable of the tares and the wheat where it suggests leaving the weeds (tares) to grow alongside the wheat until the harvest? What is the spiritual lesson here?
In a wheat field its very difficult to tell the difference between a tare and a wheat plant in the early growing stages. If trying to remove tares, you could very well yank out wheat instead. So, you wait patiently until the crop matures, which is when the tare takes on a distinct look and is readily seen to yank out without pulling good wheat out too.
So, in the parable, Jesus meant to not prematurely yank out the wheat with the mistaken belief that you’re pulling out a tare. Make sure you can tell the difference first. In practice, for instance, if you meet a new person and he appears to be a bad person because of some offensive behavior, don’t prematurely throw him into a mental bin of “tares” until you’ve truly discerned his total character. He might be a super good guy after all, once you get past initial impressions. Ultimately, the tares are mortal beliefs and the wheat are spiritual truths.