Has another’s criticism ever left you feeling hurt and wounded? It happens. Humans are not always nice to each other. Careless words, malicious intent, words generated by envy, jealousy, prejudice, hatred, ignorance or bigotry may bite or knock us off our mental balance.
There’s a way to exercise dominion over this type of experience. Empower Ego, and not ego, in your relationships with all people.
God speaks to us in many different ways, and sometimes God speaks to us through other people letting us know where we can improve and how we can do better. So, it’s important that we keep an open mind about what we hear to be sure we aren’t shutting down the voice of wisdom sending messages our way.
However, for the times when what we hear is not God-inspired, but evilly motivated, we must not let it bully our thinking and disturb our perspective. We must hold our ground with Truth and Love, and know that only what God thinks is accurate and worthy of consideration.
Humility makes this possible.
And by humility, I don’t mean lying down on the ground and letting the abuser trample all over you. Quite to the contrary. Genuine humility is clarity of thought, strength of character, poise and grace to stay calm, listen for God’s guidance and to act and say whatever is going to bring healing and improvement to the situation you face.
Humility is void of human ego. It is not proud, self-centered, self-concerned, edgy, impatient, boastful, or feeling like it needs to defend itself.
Humility is composure, dominion, authority, spiritual mindedness. It gets self out of the way and allows God to work through us.
It’s human ego that feels stung by another’s criticism. It’s pride that hurts, self-love that feels wounded. Void consciousness of these mortal weaknesses, and the grace of God will take over and take charge. You will be empowered. There will no longer be a sting to another’s criticism, but a perceived opportunity to grow and bless all involved.
So set yourself up to face any type of criticism that may come your way with poise and grace. Don’t fear it. Don’t worry about it. Consider it objectively, if it does come. Sort out the right from the wrong. Discard the wrong, learn from the right, respond only in Love, make adjustments if necessary, and move on a better person.
“Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good”
Apostle Paul, Romans 12:17,18,21, NLT.
Evan, thank you for today’s equation, our part, of thinking rightly and living rightly to bring about balance, the true harmony. The right result is the relationship between the two resulting factors, always 1 to 1. That is the “true or real man’s” relation to God. “Perfect God, perfect man.” To me, 1 John, “God is Love” represents the equal sign in the science of mathematics, the determining and ultimate balance. Thus, in Christian Science, while each of God’s ideas, has/ her own place to occupy, and one’s own assignment to work at and to fulfill, God’s love for each is mutual. It’s our contemporary understanding which needs to progress, if there is a seeming difference voicing itself, the error, or mistaken belief of one or both which needs to be dismissed.
Love the definition of humility as composure, dominion, authority, spiritual mindedness, getting self out of the way and allowing God to work through us! Thank you, Evan. Lots to ponder here.
Thank you, Evan. There seems to be, too, so much criticism these days….re: political, etc. Of course, we do want to welcome good criticism which can be helpful when we listen with humility. But unkind criticism I find sometimes starts with us. Was told by a dear C.S. teacher..to “Stay off the critical list!” 🙂 It has been a helpful reminder. And I always seem to find love..more love in our words and actions is the healing. Thanks again.
Kathy… Such a wonderful insight you have given all of us…
‘Stay off the critical list” love it… its a keeper
“Love is our answered prayer.” Political agenda, personal agenda, or God’s agenda, I know the correct answer to that question!
Thank you Evan! What came to thought after reading this was Constantine’s reaction to something an angry mob did to a statue of him. It’s in Mrs Eddy’s Article Taking Offense in Miscellaneous Writings. Love!
Thank you Evan! Just what I needed to hear this morning. Sometimes we really do feel harmed by other’s criticism and we tend to want to shut down and not share our opinions any more, fearing we will be put down again. It does hurt, because what we say, we believe is right and when others take a totally different viewpoint, our ego does seem to suffer. I think the most important lesson from all of this, is that, God speaks in many ways and it does help to have an open mind, to not judge, but to try to listen to all viewpoints and be tolerant and keep a positive attitude. Thank you again for this insight this morning. We are all striving for harmony and peace in a world that needs it so much
Thanks, Evan! This is so apropos, re. what we are witnessing in our U.S. Govt. right now. We can all learn a lot from what we are seeing played out…..and the Big One is that when the little human ego is given complete control of one’s voice and decisions, it can hurt a lot of people and tear apart good relationships that have been years in the making. I always have to go back and pray to Know that there is Really Only ONE Ego, our God, who is Truth and Love. And as Gandhi said: “…….Truth and Love Always Win……Think of it……ALWAYS.”!!
Absolutely great stuff today, Evan, and very helpful. It reminds me of our Leader’s statement on page 9 of Science and Health, “During many years the author has been most grateful for merited rebuke.” If she can be “most grateful for merited rebuke”, so can we! Thanks, Evan.
Thank you for these very helpful thoughts, Evan. And thanks to all responders!
These ideas help me with a recent situation in which unmerited criticism was directed, not at me, but at a friend. The criticism focused mainly on the church work this dear one had been doing tirelessly and devotedly in the face of some large challenges. I was upset, indignant and angry on my friend’s behalf – and found myself landing squarely on the “Critical List” (thanks to Kathy for that gem!). It has taken a lot of prayer and hard mental work to correct my own response, to love the criticizer, and to see my friend as untouched by mortal mind’s darts, and I’m still working on it. I see now that I need humility in this situation just as much as if the criticism had been directed at me.
Thanks to Christineo for the reference to “Taking Offense” Miscellaneous Writings – I shall read it again.
I love to live in peace with everyone, Evan, and thank you your so timely SV of today.
But yesterday I made a big mistake, I became engry when a member told me how to do things better. I was engry because she everytime says the same. Of course I will do it better.
But today I made a much grater mistake. It should sound funny, but that person didn`t understand it, although we know each other since some years. She is a colored person, and she usually has her hair very nice. But today when she came to me she had such a hair, quite wild, that I said “Oh today you are looking really like a negro in Afrika” and I laughed friendly. She is from Ghana. I know normally I am not alowed to say that. I thought that she also sees it as funny, but she did not and straight away she went back home without having done whatfore she visited me. I am very very unhappy that she understood me wrong. I just finished reading the lesson sermon before she arrived. But it seems as if I didn`t listen enough to God what I shall say in that instance. I only can pray for forgiveness.
Great SV this morning! It ties in so beautifully with Citation 19 of the Bible. The Canaanite could have withdrawn from Jesus when he said ” it is not meet to take the children’s food and give it unto dogs.” She must have known His spirit was Love and she merely made the point that dogs eat the crumbs – w/o evidence of negative reaction on her part. The result was total harmony and healing!
Sometimes the error slips in under the reaction. A different reaction on the mother’ part may have interfered with the healing. Jesus’ seeing both mother and daughter as whole, receptive, and non reactionary supported the mother’s non reactive response! It’s a two way street
I am just loving Section 4 of our C.S. Bible Lesson this week: Jesus says he came into this world so that those who can’t see might see. Then he talks about being aware of false prophets that come in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. He says, to paraphrase, Be Alert, watch what these types of people are doing, look at their “fruits”. Open your eyes and See what’s going on around you! Don’t believe everything that people say, measure their words and actions according to God’s standards. Don’t be blown about by the sleight of men “and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive.” Let’s stay Alert!!
Dear Uta,
If Love is at the helm of thought you have nothing to fear.
In her poem hymn 160 Mary Baker Eddy wrote at a most difficult time in her work with her Mother Church.
“It matters not what be thy lot,
So Love doth guide;
For storm or shine pure peace is thine,
Whate’r betide.”
This is true about your so-called mistake.
“My teacher used to say take it up to God dear” and so when I did the situation changed to one of joy and forgiveness.
Lift your thought up to God and seek His unfoldment of good in your thought Uta.
Much love. Ted.
thanks a lot for your comforting and loving reply, dear Ted. Will do what you recommend!
Wonderful post today, Evan as usual. We all have at one time or other said something meant one way but then taken in another which we had not intended but afterwards understood why the message came out wrong. I believe that is why Jesus indicated that we should forgive not seven times but seventy times seven (for those who would need an exact number – the number not really important to the issue of forgiveness.) We should be ready to forgive, separate the error from the identity and acknowledge the love that binds us to the principle of Christ. I had an experience the yesterday which was at first seemingly almost unimportant, but after it happened I began to think about it and its immediate impact on me. If only I could put this into everyday practice. What happened was this: I was doing my regular workout which I had planned to do a fairly light load as I had gone through some rigorous testing two days before. Except for one set of pull ups, all was a light load. On the pull ups I was to have a progressive set of 8, 9 & 10. The first set was difficult, the second even harder but I completed it as desired. When it came to the third set of 10, I didn’t think I could do all reps and I automatically said a prayer, almost unthinkingly, but I did and immediately jump onto the bar and started the reps. On the 10 rep I realized I felt great and could do more, but stopped because that was my goal. When I got down from the bar, all I could think about was how easy that was and how great I felt and then I realize I said a quick petition prayer for help with this exercise. I don’t generally do such a prayer when exercising. But then I realized this was meant to be a teaching moment for me and the need to bring this consciousness into my experience more often. Prayer before I speak would be a great occasion not hurt or harm but to embrace or enlighten.
Evan, I need some of that humility and Ego listening. Thanks for putting it to pen and paper. I remain your faithful disciple.
Thank you Evan for those clear definitions of humility.
This is a great blog. Thank you Evan.
As I put such ideas into practice I’m learning that, applying the rules of Love, never fail.
Part of verse 8 in Micah chapter 6 comes to my thought : “…What doth the lord require of thee ,but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”