“The Maxim does not imply that we should always do to others exactly that which we should wish under our own present circumstances (which may be quite different from theirs) to be done to us. What the maxim implies is that we are, as far as possible, to put ourselves in the place of others; to consider what we would wish to be done to us, were we in their circumstances.”
~ W. A. Spooner
Given our differences I think its more respectful to ask the other person what their boundaries are, how they would like things to be done, what help they need. Anything else seems rather presumptuous.
Two things I’ve learned over the years.
For one, many of the ‘do-gooders’ I’ve encountered were doing the ‘good’ deed for their own benefit and self-satisfaction.
Secondly, it seems you just can’t help some people — even though they directly appeal to you for such. They seem to want to keep their problem, whatever it is, and want your company in their misery.
>>They seem to want to keep their problem, whatever it is, and want your company in their misery.
I have a friend like that. I try to limit our time together.
OTOH, I helped a friend yesterday after asking her if she would like me to do it, since I wondered if she would get to it otherwise. It worked out great for both of us. There was no push. Even the traffic cooperated.
I just wanted to add (I’m the one that helped my friend above) that Mary Baker Eddy’s hymn is a help:
My prayer, some daily good to do
To Thine, for Thee;
An offering pure of Love, whereto
God leadeth me.
and —
With love perfumed.