Last Saturday, I played in a doubles tennis tournament with a good friend of mine, and learned yet another lesson on what score matters the most when the match is finished!
The competition was tough and we had to work hard for every point.
The first match ended in victory for us, but our second match was barely lost in a 10-8 match tie-breaker. Losing the match was not a big deal. That has happened before! But some poor calls during the match wanted to put a dark cloud over the experience.
One of our opponents made a number of bad calls, at least from our point of view. We let each one slide without comment, but after a while, the cumulative effect of his seeing the ball out when it appeared clearly in, was weighing on us mentally. And for anyone who plays tennis, you learn that any negativity in thought adversely affects your performance quickly.
My partner was more affected by the calls than I was, but after we barely lost the match, the temptation came to place blame. But I didn’t want to go there.
As I drove home, I pondered, “What is most important? Who won by points, or who won by love?”
Any arguing about the calls during the match would have been fruitless. It would have caused strife, conflict and resentment on the court, which no one wanted. Playing tennis is for fun, and should stay that way. So, you learn to let the bad calls go. Everyone makes them once in a while. But this guy seemed to make several.
I wanted to shake the feeling of being treated unjustly.
I looked to Jesus for guidance.
What would Jesus do?
Forgive. That was clear.
Forgive 70 times 7, he taught. And I did during the game. I instantly let the bad calls go and moved to the next point without resentment. It was after the match, when we lost, that I fussed a bit! But I didn’t want even a tinge of resentment to linger in thought.
So, I asked again, “What was most important? The final score, or the attitude you walked off the court with?”
The answer was clear. The attitude I walked off the court with was infinitely more important than the final score. The score would be forgotten in a few days, but my attitude would stay with me for years. If I could walk off the court with complete and total forgiveness, without a cell of resentment in my thought, and genuine love for my opponents, that would be a victory that would bless me in all my relationships with others, in my practice, at home, everywhere I went and in everything I did. To love in the face of injustice would be a far greater triumph than the acquisition of a little plaque that collected dust on my bookshelf.
I chose to love! It was not hard. I do it all the time. But it feels good to love and never resent! Resentment is poison that kills. Love is balm that heals.
So, the tournament was a grand success, as usual. I will never be a Roger Federer, or even close! But that does not matter. It’s the spiritual lessons I learn and gain that count and make the effort worthwhile.
If I end a match a better person for the experience and feeling closer to God, I consider it a success whether the score was in my favor or not. And that’s the way it should be. It’s all God cares about!
The “score” that counts is the spiritual attitude you live.
You are ablsoutely right!! Years ago I was kicked out of a football game for smacking another player after getting pinched in the bottom of the pile. Rather than letting it go, I incited an all out free for all after the game which lead to more problems (restitution for damage to equipment, letters of apology etc.) As I have looked back on this unfortunate experience I have realized what it prepared me for. The frustration of losing (0-9). My Senior year, a captain of the team, a bout of pneumonia midseason all came crashing down with my punch. As you stated, Evan, It is what you remember for years afterward. The thing is most remember it as funny now, and make it sound cool when they tell the story. I take a different view. While shame is not the word, I have since learned to be Christian in my competitive adventures. I really work to let God do the expressing and concentrate on me being the performance. There are moments when this is tested and instead of the hot feeling on the back of my neck take hold I take a deep breath and let God do the work. Many competitive situations have been resoved over the years with this method and before you know it, it spills into everything you do. God happens, if you listen. Thanks Evan. Tick.
Great story and example Tick! Thanks for sharing…
Aha!
When you lose, don’t lose the lesson!…..
Aw, I like THAT lesson!
Well, I am not so sure that I agree … I have played competitive tennis for years and when something like this happens we call a linesperson to impartially judge the calls. Especially in tournaments. What did Mrs. Eddy say about exposing error? And, Jesus threw the money changers out of the temple, I am sure he forgave, but also exposed the wrong thinking/actions.
Hi Shelley,
Yes, if this had been a more “significant” tournament, we would have had that option, but it was local and pretty small time compared to the bigger tournaments that have readily available officials. You are right about exposing error! There is a right way to do it that serves everyone’s best interest. Sometimes intervention by officials is necessary, and sometimes an act of Love is most powerful…
I think where you had mentioned that the poor lines calls affected your partner and the performance of the team, is a clue for me that I would have to say something. (Not with a mean-spirited intent) By not saying anything reminds me of not speaking the truth when an obvious lie is put forth. The early Christians seemed to do this well. Our society today seems to look the other way rather than addressing the issue as it happens. Yes, it is true that often times we are not called on to speak directly to the person, however, when it affects me directly or a partner, then I am amiss not to talk it down with love and courage. I do not think we have to be a marter and stand by when an obvious injustice smacks us in the face, this allows the behavior to continue to the next person. Bearing false witness has many applications. The correction is God’s, but the ability to state the truth is ours. Leviticus 5:1
Hello Evan. I’ve noticed feelings of ‘injustice’ seem to get their best foothold when there’s primarily an us/them or me/you outlook. That’s what I like about CS, it helps direct you to something higher and better in every situation. How do people live without it?? P.S. though: I would have verbally challenged those bad calls at the outset, without anger or assuming the bad calls were deliberate. If they were deliberate, challenging them may have helped the person making them snap out of a pooky attitude. dominic in newbury