To husbands and wives…
…have you ever wondered whether you married the right person?
I hear the question voiced frequently in my practice. If a husband or wife is not getting along with their spouse, the question often arises, “Did I mess up at the altar and make the wrong choice?”
The answer is easy to find, though, when marriage is viewed from a spiritual point of view.
Marriage is not about fulfilling selfish wants. Marriage is not about getting a spouse to cater to one’s every need and want. Marriage is not about fulfilling Hollywood dream fantasies that are unrealistic from the beginning. Marriage, among other things, is about seeing the perfect child of God in another and wanting to spend the rest of your life getting to know that child of God better.
This can take work.
So, yes, you did marry the right person if you see yourself as married to a child of God. See him or her that way, and what you thought was lacking will make a more tangible appearance. It’s there! God put it in there, and you can find it, feel it, and experience more of it.
You’re both equally worthy and loved children of God. Enjoy getting to know each other better.
P.S. My wife and I just celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary! Amazing…24 years…it went so quickly…
Hugs,The perfect child of God is not always readily apparent in another, or better worded, we don’t always see that perfect child as much as we should. But this is where the huge blessing of marriage appears. As we practice humility, patience, perseverance, let God lead the way and put ego aside, we see more and more of God’s child in our spouse over the years. And what we see in them, we express ourselves better too. We grow together. It’s wonderful. It’s beautiful.
Thanks Evan. I believe that is true in any relationship, including our relationship with ourselves. That said… I feel that God lead me through – and out – of a marriage, with blessings to both of us. But I still need to see God’s child in everyone, including myself, daily!
Have a lovely anniversary!!
What great ideas to think about and apply in ALL relationships!
Congratulations on your anniversary! My husband and I will soon be celebrating 47 years–it seems to us that we have always been part of each other! But it wasn’t always so. Although Christian Science wasn’t in the picture until 30 + years ago, we believed in marriage and were willing to work out our problems–that was the example our parents had set before us. I can really see so much ‘unselfed’ love in my husband; our mutual love and respect has grown through the years. He now attends church with me and rejoices in God’s tangible love and goodness in our lives.
Dear Evan, great topic – as usual. I found that sometimes it’s not the tough moments that can be a danger to a marriage, but those times of complacency when one is not attentive to one’s own thoughts. Then criticism, lack of gratitude, demanding instead of giving can easily enter one’s thinking. When daily strains and chores made me dissatified with my life, I started being dissatisfied with my marriage. Fortunately, reminders like your blog made me turn around in time and stop those thoughts of mortal mind. Appreciating your partner means seeing the Truth about him or her AND about yourself. That cures all feelings of lack or dissatisfaction. How could anyone not be satisfied with what God has created?