Avoid the put downs

November 27, 2015 | 9 comments


Would you agree that other people are much more enjoyable to be around and work with when they see the good qualities you express, appreciate your strengths and express gratitude for the good work that you do? I’m guessing you do. Most people warm up to positive reinforcement.

But we have to remember that the converse rule applies as well. We are much more enjoyable to be around when we see the good qualities in others, point out their strengths and express gratitude for their positive contributions!

And this means no put downs.

Put downs come so subtly at times. They often look innocent on the surface, but are evil throughout and even malicious at times.

Put downs, like, “You always mess up. You won’t get it right. You are incompetent, untrustworthy, unreliable,” and more, can be highly demoralizing for the person who hears them over and over again in overt or backhanded kind of ways. Perhaps they appear justified because there was a mess up in the past, but they do nothing to help a person do better in the future.

The cure for put downs is love.

True love sees the good in another, even if faintly apparent. True love extends a helping hand. True love works to bring the best out of another person. True love is forgiving, infinitely patient, and supportive. Love does not put down but builds up. True love makes life easier for another person, not more difficult. True love brings to bear a healing influence.

See the good in everyone and honor its presence with your recognition of it. Avoid the put downs and make life more enjoyable for everyone.

9 thoughts on “Avoid the put downs”

  1. Just what I needed to hear….a great reminder this morning!
    Thank you once again for another most helpful post!

  2. Edify one another! Everyone blooms in that environment! Marriages stay solid, families thrive, workplaces are productive,etc.

  3. I Love this Evan! “Love one another, word of Revelation……” My prayer these days is asking God to feel more of Her Love, so I can share it with the world. We are here to Love!

  4. Those who uses PUT DOWNS need more help than they realize. It shows Cowardness, insecure ness and bitter hatred of of others. It also shows macho intimidation which is closely linked to dictatorships. So let us avoid attitudes such as the above and bring out the God likeness of ourselves, what we really are.

  5. Well stated, Evan.
    Another way put downs can come subtly is through humor. What is intended by the sender a simple teasing may be felt by the receiver as a put down or a hurtful criticism. As you said, the cure is Love – on the part of the sender, so that no offense is given, and on the part of the receiver, so that none is taken.

  6. Evan your article came at the right time I was put down at work and my self esteem went but god has restored what the locust has eaten all people should be treated with gods love

  7. I opened this just as a put down of someone was launching itself in my thought. What a correction! The person passed on years go, and how silly to let old resentments lie around like trash that should just be thrown out.

  8. Yes. this is always a good way to see what you are harboring in consciousness. It isn’t just being nice it is acknowledging the truth of all our beings. I learned that if I am provoked or moved by ‘evil’ behavior I need to look to my own consciousness. with some humility; it can be very freeing.

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