Be generous with your hugs

August 31, 2015 | 17 comments


“A hug is like a boomerang – you get it back right away.”

~ Bil Keane

I find it’s hard to hug my wife too many times. And every time I offer a hug, I get one back. Love is that way. Give and receive.

I know it doesn’t always work that way. Some people would resist a hug, resist love coming their way, but more often than not, I’ve seen generous love start to melt that resistance and open that person’s heart to receiving a gift they really want on the inside, but maybe are still learning how to accept for themselves on the outside. So, never give up! Keeping offering a hug anyway! Someday, they will be ready to receive it and you’ll get a hug right back.

17 thoughts on “Be generous with your hugs”

  1. A few years ago the students in a Stanford graduate department were feeling alone, lonely. They decided they would give hugs to those they knew. The idea caught on, so more folks were getting hugs. Later studies showed that these huggers were even doing better in their classes, and yes , they were now feeling lots better.

  2. Do you remember Leo Buscaglia? People lined up in the hundreds to hug him and be hugged, because he cared. He said “Love is always bestowed as a gift–freely, willingly and without expectation.”
    “And Love is reflected in love.”–Mary Baker Eddy

  3. Thanks for this “Hug” this morning, Evan! And for all the other Commenters’ “Hugs”! Sometimes a “Hug” can be a warm and loving thought we cherish of someone else and “all whom your thoughts rest upon are thereby benefitted.” The letters for “HUG’ could also stand for: “How U Give & Get”! Whether spiritually, mentally, emotionally or physically – we can all be Huggers for our World. (Trying to imagine if Jesus Hugged people……???) Hugs and Love to All!

  4. Generally this is good advice. However some try to mask over past issues with a hug, thinking now “all is well,” when it isn’t. A hug doesn’t take the place of true repentance and the washing of feet. A hug of true friendship and not one done deceitfully is the best and purest sense of love!

    1. Woody, I have never had a hug offered to me as an apology or instead of repentance. Every hug, to me, means I am a person and I am connecting with another person. I recognize there are many not comfortable receiving a hug. They stiffen up and don’t hug back. But even some of those folks come to welcome them, in time. My day is always better if I have connected with others during my activities.

    1. Tobias, I agree totally. I only give genuine hugs and hope I never encounter a “hypocritical” one! They are energizing and warming and a physical representation of Universal Mind, to me!

  5. I am a hugger and proud of it. I recently met a man who said he wasn’t a hugger. I can’t even remember why he chose to announce this. Later as I was leaving his home I just automatically gave him a hug. It was a thank you for the salad he had fixed for me. I really felt it was just natural . I’d do it again!

  6. Thank you Evan for this wonderful article! I am a BIG HUGGER and hug my friends and even new people I meet. My parents taught us that hugging is a natural way to make you feel better and the power of touch is a true miracle! Like someone said above “Love is reflected in love”…Mary Baker Eddy

  7. Last night at a prayer meeting I spoke an audible prayer for someone who had been missing and received back from Spirit an immediate feedback of sweet energy (a divine hug) that stayed upon me for about a minute. I love this sort of quickening hug!

  8. Sending a hug of thanks for this post, Evan- enjoyed the comments. I live with two kitties who enjoy being brushed and exchanging a few hugs each morning- one jumps into the sink and the other into the bathtub for this ritual before breakfast- but I have learned it is polite cat manners to let them sniff my finger first so they can indicate if they want a rub under the chin or a pat on the head. Perhaps a variation on this ( minus the finger sniff!) is true for people too- good manners to ask first if someone wants a hug, unless you know they do. Someone reminded me of this at church, who does not consider themselves to be a “huggy” person. Two others, however, take hugs home to other people. We can hug the world when we do daily prayerful work, and read The Christian Science Monitor in a proactive way- we can offer a no-touch hug with a smile on the bus or a small courtesy- even watering a flower bed. “Love is reflected in love” shines forth even in how the flowers respond. Love enables is to share our “daily bread”- God, “feeds the famished affections” in ways all creation can understand.

  9. My grandson, his wife and son recently visited whom I hadn’t seen for about 10 years as they live in Texas and I’m in California. My great grandson, Patrick, is now 17 years old and 6 feet tall. As they were departing I have them each a hug – Patrick last. He held onto me for an extended hug and I could just feel the love being exchanged – what a thrill!

  10. A few years ago my cousin organized a family reunion at the beach and there were more people than could fit in one place so we rented three different condos units. I was informed I would be staying in a condo with my other cousin, Bruce and his family. That made me a bit apprehensive because Bruce is about 12 years older than me and therefore growing up we never spent much time together due to our age difference and since becoming adults we’ve not had any contact due to living in different parts of the country. I had never even met his two daughters. So I really didn’t know what to expect and wondered how well we would get along. When I got there and I saw him I walked towards him and…he being a dude and me being a dude…I started to reach my hand out to shake his. But he spread his arms wide as he was walking up to me and then gave me a big hug. I still remember this whenever I think of him to this day and smile! His hug immediately dissolved any apprehension or awkwardness I was feeling and our time together that week could not have been more enjoyable. I also think the rest of his family saw him hug me and they in turn hugged me and my wife and we hugged them back. So his hug had the ripple effect of spreading out to all that saw it and that pure expression of love was contagious.

  11. I do love hugs. My big strapping nephews give loving welcoming hugs! But like Tobias says. They need to be genuine not hypocritical. We have a couple church people who seem to be deceitful, gossipers and go behind people’s back, but think a hug erases all that. It doesn’t

  12. From the comments, it’s obvious that hugs come in all shapes and sizes and definitions. A moment’s listening to God will tell us what kind of hug a person needs–it could be a big bear hug, a smile, a genuine compliment, a verbal expression of thanks, or a warm handshake. It’s all love, and Love is behind all of them.

    Thanks, Evan, for this post and for your site every day.

  13. Whether you like or dislike hugs, sometimes just depends on whether you grew up in a loving family that favored hugging, or not. Hugs are one way of expressing love, but there are also plenty of other ways.

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