If tension builds in my marriage, it’s often the belief of two egos at work in our home. Mortal mind yells, “Evan has a point of view and Kathy has a point of view, and they do not agree!”

If I agree with this suggestion, the struggle can worsen and feelings get hurt. But if I can catch it early and remember that the whole purpose of marriage is to unite in the one Mind and express more of divine Love, we make quicker progress toward peaceful resolution.

Instead of pushing my position, I strive to shut down the “Evan ego,” and remember that Kathy and I express the one Mind, the one Ego. Yes, we may have two different points of view, but the two points of view are coming from the same Mind, and that truth gives us common ground to stand on, embrace, work together as one and come to an agreement we both can readily accept.

Two different points of view does not mean there can’t be an agreed upon course of action that blesses both persons.

I’ve learned to see in many cases that differences of opinion in our home have been the infinite Mind expressing itself in more than one way, and it’s my opportunity to see how those differences can be complementary and able to work together as one for a greater good.

To work though, we have to be humble. We have to admit that we do not have all the answers, that our spouse’s point of view is just as legitimate as ours. And then we have to listen, often very patiently, to see how our differing standpoints can blend and come together for something better than we could figure out individually.

And to do this, it helps to hold the right spiritual idea of our spouse firmly in view.

If we see our spouse as indignant, obstinate, close-minded, unreceptive, self-righteous, or under the dark shadow of any other negative trait, we’re not giving our relationship a chance to blossom and bloom. We’re allowing mortal mind to shut it down early and cause great misery and suffering.

But if we shut down mortal mind first, and pray to see our spouse correctly, as unselfish, receptive, open minded, easy to work with, and full of love and care, we’re opening our relationship to prosper and thrive.

Kathy and I have opposite views about many things in life, but the neat part is, as we’ve put the above rule into practice over the last 25 years, we’ve become better individuals, spouses and mates for it.

I can only speak for myself, but I’ve grown to appreciate other people’s point of view more outside of marriage, and have seen in many cases that just because they have a different point of view doesn’t mean they are wrong. One: I could be wrong. Two: Both of us might be wrong. Three: Both of us may be right. Four: To work together, we need to listen to each other, appreciate each other, and grow together in love until we’re blending in harmony, like a chord in music. A chord may have two or more notes, and each note is different. But played together, two notes can produce a beautiful sound that would never happen if they stayed solo.

And this is a blessing of marriage. When the spirit of uniting in one Mind is adopted and practiced, the benefit of the two blending as one is greater than the sum of its parts.

Marriage is greatly blessed when we see from the beginning that we’re marrying a perfect child of God. Just because the total package of perfection is not apparent from the beginning, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It does, in Mind! And that’s the opportunity of marriage relations, to go to Mind, in all cases, and find the perfect child of God you married in the first place.

As husband and wife bring into their relationship what they discover to be true in divine Mind, relations improve. Bridges are built. Common ground is found. Hearts unite. Divisions fall away. Love gains a greater hold, more thoughtfulness and tenderness takes over, and marriage gets better and better.

Not finished yet…