Do you feel like you always have to be right?
Do you interrupt conversations with others in order to get your opinion in and be heard—every time?
Do you feel like what you have to say is more important than what others have to say?
Do you have to speak the final word?
I’ve struggled in varying degrees with the above questions at different times in my life. They all indicate pride and ego, self-righteousness and vanity; none of them healthy qualities for anyone to indulge or manifest.
One time, when debating a topic with my wife and wanting to be sure she understood things the way I understood them, it suddenly occurred to me, “Evan, you don’t have to be right. Let Kathy be right.” I dropped my defense. I stopped debating (it was a very civil friendly debate!). I trusted that all would be well in the end, in God’s way of working things out. And I felt wonderful. Kathy did too. We quickly united and moved on. No good was lost.
I didn’t have to be right. I didn’t have to get her to see things my way. I didn’t have to have the final word. I could be happy in simply understanding better what she was trying to get across, and leave it at that.
What a breakthrough! It felt so good to let go of pride and ego on my part and trust all final outcomes to God.
Truth always triumphs in the end. There are times when events require truth to be spoken boldly and without compromise. But there are probably many more times when a strong dose of humility, sensitive listening, and appreciation for another’s position bring far better results in the long run.
So, if you feel like you have to “be right,” all the time, you don’t. Or, I should say, you don’t have to convince everyone around you that you’re right if your position is only causing more grief and angst. Back off. Get quiet with God. Let truth work its way through consciousness, through Christ, and be a promoter of peace and brotherly love.
What you fail to accomplish humanly, but is a right idea, God will accomplish spiritually. And what you fail to accomplish humanly, and was all the hubris of pride and ego anyway, is a very good thing to let go.
“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud” (Proverbs 16:18,19).