Don’t worry about others

November 28, 2007 | 8 comments

How much time do you consume worrying about what other people are doing?

Perhaps its concern about whether your spouse is living up to your expectations, or whether a co-worker is performing their job correctly, or whether a member on your team is carrying their weight?

One of the rules I’m learning while playing doubles in tennis is to not worry about the other player. When I obey the rule, the rewards are huge, especially if you’re playing with your spouse!

In tennis doubles, it’s tempting to pin blame on your partner if they miss a shot, drop the ball into the net, or overhit. But, if the truth be known, you likely are missing just as many shots, if not more, than they are. It’s much more productive to not judge your partner’s shots, and concentrate on playing your own very best.

It’s amazing what happens on court when you focus all of your attention on doing your very best, and not worry about the other player. The better you do, the better they do. The more confident you are, the more confident they are. Success in your own efforts encourages and supports success in their efforts.

Contrariwise, if you judge your partner’s shots and voice disapproval or groan disappointment, they get demoralized, discouraged, even mad or angry. The morale on the court quickly sinks and the team’s game suffers. No good comes out of condemnation, judgmentalism or criticism. It’s a sure and quick route to failure and defeat.

I believe this rule applies to all interactions with people—at home, in the workplace, in the community. All of us have occasions where we work with others. If we put this rule, “Don’t worry about the other person. Concentrate on doing your very best,” more into practice, I’d bet we’d all get along much better.

I find it works well in marriage. Anytime I judge my wife and believe she needs to change, I generally get into trouble. Like Paul taught, “What you judge others to do, you do yourself.” Can you relate??

The more successful route to working with others is to change our view of them, rather than trying to change them. As we improve our view and see the other person the way God created him or her to begin with, we see them in their true spiritual light, and realize there is nothing to criticize, condemn or judge. God made each of us wonderful in our own special unique way.

Judge righteous judgment.” Jesus taught. To judge righteously, is to size the other person up spiritually, to see the good God put there in the first place.

“Don’t worry about the other person. Be the best you can be,” is a dictum for successful living. It lifts negativity out of thought, casts darkness out of consciousness, lightens the load of worry, and sets us free to be all God created us to be.

No one is holding us back from using our God-given talents to the fullest. No one! The less time we worry about the other person, and the more energy we put into being our very best, the better off for everyone.

And that’s a recipe for harmonious relations!

8 thoughts on “Don’t worry about others”

  1. Gosh, so right on….my husband and i just jumped through hoops for a client…that does not seem to appreciate the efforts….but I am working so hard today to see them as God does…watching and working on my own thought regarding them. I do know that God made them, and loves them…and I pray that He shows me what it is about them that He Loves so dearly….thought came back that it is how He created them. Perfect!! wow…I asked Him if He is sure..and He said YES. So, I work to appreciate that. The time came to talk to the project manager and he asked if we wanted to send on the report as is…and I said YES. Knowing that we worked to the best of our God given ability on the RIGHT AND JUST…I was able to tell the project manager that WE TRUST GOD AND HIS GOOD NO MATTER THE OUTCOME. I told him that we were not praying “to keep the job” but praying for what is right for all concerned. We may not hear until tomorrow the results…but when I said to him…it is in God’s Hands for the blessing for all concerned…he seemed to pause while considering that… So much it is in our own thinking…the desire of the heart should be to glorify God…what ever form that takes is good to go with us. Because I learned today that “Fear not little flock, it is the Fathers good pleasure to give you the Kingdom”…and so it is.
    What ever the outcome is the blessing. Trust in the Lord with all thine Heart and lean not unto thy own understanding…in all thy ways acknowledge Him and HE will direct thy path.” Amen!!! Thanks for this daily Blog…means so much.

  2. Hey, you are welcome. And thanks for sharing your inspirations!

    There is no wasted effort. Every right motive and every good deed is blessed, even if not in the way we expected. There is always a rightful reward.

  3. I understand what we need to do and find this comforting. I have a family member who needs direction in managing his life, has the means to do it, but does not want to use his resources to make his life more comfortable. I seek God’s direction which works for a brief peroid but I find he regresses back to his ridged beliefs.

  4. To Bill,

    Yes, to not worry about others does not mean that we don’t care about others, as I believe you’re wanting to bring out above. We can still care, and still help, but in a way that blesses the other rather than gets them upset or bothered.

    With your family member, you can still bless him with the spiritual truth, which might include such affirmations as, God is guiding him to act intelligently and wisely, or, he is listening to the one Mind that guides him aright. As you say, he does have the resources he needs, but those resources are spiritual, from within, the Christ speaking to him right where he is, and that voice of Truth will lead him aright.

  5. I like it. But, this is tricky when you get paid to worry about others. Turning my thinking around on this will be a fun challenge I’m sure. Thanks for making sure I always have something new to do….( I think).

  6. Hmmm…that’s interesting. A job where you’re paid to worry about others! I’m curious what that would be.

    When Jesus said “Watch,” he didn’t mean watch for evil, as in spend all your time looking for evil. He meant watch for good, and keep your thinking so full of good that evil would stand out if ever approaching you. That’s the best kind of “Watch” there is!

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