Forgive all the way

June 27, 2019 | 37 comments


“I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note—torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.

~ Henry Ward Beecher

37 thoughts on “Forgive all the way”

  1. Love is unconditional when it sees and knows there is nothing to forgive. All is very good. This is how the Father / Mother God, infinite Love, sees and knows creation, and by reflection how man sees and knows himself and his neighbour. It is only mortal mind that forgets and imagines life as time-based. There can be no forgetting, for Love is always in the NOW of present perfection. Mind knows all, and that is only what is good. There is nothing to forget. Tear up and burn the mortal picture, and just live Love.

  2. I hope I have this remembrance correctly. It is forgiveness heals the wound but forgetness heals the scar.
    Isn’t this wonderful?! It truly is the answer to many problems. but you have to work on it because memory sometimes rears its ugly head when you think the problem is resolved.

  3. Thank you Evan, Anne and Ken, wonderful help, sometimes it’s hardest to forgive ourself when often thats who needs forgiveness the most. When I got a ‘robo’ call at 4 this morning I found myself saying this person doesn’t know he/she is God’s child and tho I didn’t like it,I wasn’t angry. Anger only gives support to the offense.

  4. Thank you Evan! This made me consider “how does one forget?” It occurred to me that forgetting occurs in two ways:

    1) We forget when something is so “unimportant” to us that we no longer choose to keep it in memory. The color of the shirt I wore to work a month ago would be an example of this type of forgetting.

    2) We forget when we “replace” something in memory with something else. For example, when I was first learning to multiply I may have had the wrong idea that 6 x 8 = 54. But when I learned 6 x 8 is actually 48, I “forgot” the wrong answer in memory by replacing it with the right answer.

    Just last week I was thinking that all healing in Christian Science is somewhat a process of “forgetting” what is NOT true about God and God’s idea, and realizing what IS true. If suffering from some illness or disease we may be mad at God for allowing that to happen. But when we “forgive” God by realizing God, Love, only produces harmony, that truth replaces the error in thought that some illness/disease has a “cause” and that results in a “forgetting” (disappearing) of the illness/disease. If we are holding to some hurt that has occurred to us in the past it may be because we are still placing “importance” on that hurt and therefore choosing to give it a place in consciousness. But when we reason from cause-to-effect (from God to God’s idea) we can realize the hurt is not part of our true identity in Soul, was never part of it, and fully awaken to what is true. And that truth about our true identity in God replaces the hurt, pushing it out of consciousness,

    The following citation from Science and Health by Mary Baker Eddy describes this 2-part “forgetting” process…and even though this refers to “physical healing”, the same process applies to healing any type of discord:

    “The physical healing of Christian Science results now, as in Jesus’ time, from the operation of divine Principle, before which sin and disease lose their reality in human consciousness and disappear as naturally and as necessarily as darkness gives place to light and sin to reformation.” (SH xi:9–14)

  5. C.S. can tend to leave out so much of the Human, the Relative, that it often sounds like people are just “parroting” quotes from Mrs. Eddy, without really having the personal experience of Love and Forgiveness, on a deep Human, Feeling level. It’s OK to feel our Pain, our deep Sadness and Anger, before we can be ready to Forgive. If we neglect to do this, all we achieve is a “Spiritual Bypass” – another way to avoid dealing on the Relative level. This is why, to a lot of Non-Scientists, C.S. jargon sounds like “Blah, Blah, Blah” because it’s not coming from the Feeling, Human Heart – it’s coming from the Programmed Human Head.

    1. I agree–sometimes it seems that the CS answer to everything is “Pretend it’s not there.” But I don’t think that’s what Mrs. Eddy intended. I recently read a very old article by Septimus Hanna from the Sentinel archives called, I think, “The Absolute and Relative.” He points out that S&H is filled with both absolute and relative statements. We sometimes focus on her absolute statements but forget when she says to call in a surgeon. I think Mrs. Eddy is much more balanced than some of her followers! 🙂

    2. I can’t speak for other people’s experience because we are each on our own unique journey with God, but I can say when I quote ( and I often do!) various pieces of Christian Science, I am doing so because the content has or is bringing out deep and meaningful healing and increased spiritual understanding for me. It’s speaking directly to a beautiful blend of head and heart.

      1. Thank you Trista❣️I benefit from my ongoing spiritual understanding and I am grateful for the meaningful and deep content I find in Christian Science. Having spent a lot of years studying “New Age” thought and thinkers, I find CS a breath of fresh air.

    3. Good observation. Lots of BS CS that passes for Christian Science is just rote. No inspiration or real feeling.

  6. To express unconditional love is a blessing to the giver and receiver. Only divine Mind makes that possible. Thank you, Evan, and all for sharing. Each day y’all bless me.

  7. Here’s another quote that I found on the web that I like.

    It is better to forgive and forget than to resent and remember.

    A few months ago I discovered I was holding resentment for some past hurts, so I prayed to realize the past hurts were no part of me as God’s creation and I was healed of that resentment. It’s wonderful not having to carry that “resentment” baggage around anymore.

    1. Lovely example Brian! I was just thinking, it’s a choice. We have to decide we are going to do this, forgive, heal, etc. You are right! It’s so wonderful to let go of the unnecessary garbage. It’s not always easy, but it’s infinitely worth it and gets easier, doesn’t it.

  8. If we are not separate minds and there is only one Mind, all was an illusion. Whenever I am upset by what someone did, I have to remind myself there are no separate minds to do battle. I can denounce the idea or the behavior and choose not be hypnotized by it, but nothing in reality truly happened. the difficulty is I fall back into it and would like the person to get a wake up call along the side of their head! But I keep coming back, no separate minds, only one Mind, the real spiritual being is not touched, wake up yourself! the truth just kind of spoils it for mortal mind HA

  9. Mrs. Eddy says we must expunge the material history. This is certainly necessary to truly forgive.
    Brian, I love your thought to forgive God. How easy it can be to blame God when knowing Him as the only cause and creator. He is also only good and the cause of only good, like produces like, therefore nothing unlike Him can be real. Thank you God for creating us in Your image and likeness, absolutely perfect and entirely spiritual!
    Harmony is real and discord (of any nature) is unreal.

  10. Bevi, I agree. I see us as spiritual beings having a human experience. Our human experience does have its ‘things’ to deal with, to get through to the purity of the spiritual. To love our neighbors as ourselves we need to begin where they are, a meeting of the minds of understanding, & continue then, press on to the spiritual and perfect. We can always see the perfect spiritual person, but unless we can heal immediately as Jesus did, I think we need to begin to meet our neighbors (family, politician etc) where they are and move on to the perfection of the spiritual. We need to love the other, but not their bad or immoral actions.

  11. Thank you all for your comments today! At the risk of commenting too many times in a single day, Joan’s comment about “meeting our neighbors where they are” reminded me of an experience I’d like to share. I was raised in a C.S. family and had healings throughout my childhood and young adulthood, but then I reached a point where I couldn’t seem to be healed in C.S. I got very frustrated and decided to read the chapter in S&H entitled “Christian Science Practice”. I figured based on the title of that chapter that it would help me figure out what I was doing wrong. Well I was surprised to find the first few pages of that chapter not describing “tips and techniques” for praying, but rather it was all about being more loving and sympathetic to others (and I included myself in “others”). If you’ve never done it, I highly recommend reading (and studying) pages 362-367 of S&H. Here’s one excerpt from those pages below:

    If we would open their prison doors for the sick, we must first learn to bind up the broken-hearted. If we would heal by the Spirit, we must not hide the talent of spiritual healing under the napkin of its form, nor bury the morale of Christian Science in the grave-clothes of its letter. The tender word and Christian encouragement of an invalid, pitiful patience with his fears and the removal of them, are better than hecatombs of gushing theories, stereotyped borrowed speeches, and the doling of arguments, which are but so many parodies on legitimate Christian Science, aflame with divine Love.

    After studying these pages I remember sitting in a chair in my house all alone praying until I could just feel God’s love encircling me. God’s love became so present to me it was almost like I could perceive God’s love with my physical senses, in addition to my spiritual senses. I’ll never forget that feeling. Shortly after that experience I had healings of some long standing problems, but it was almost as if I didn’t care anymore if I was healed. That feeling of God’s love was so wonderful and comforting, the problems just didn’t seem significant anymore.

    1. I, for one, am very grateful for your comments today Brian. Excellent, thank you❣️❣️I am re-reading Science and Health once again and I am eager to begin the chapter you’re referring to here. I will take your wonderful thoughts with me. I LOVE this chapter.

  12. This reminds me of something a Christian Science lecturer said on the subject of forgiveness:
    “Bury the hatchet but don’t mark the place where you buried it.”

  13. Thanks, Brian, for each and every one of your comments – never too many! The depth of your thinking and your sincere caring for others shows through.

  14. Thank you all for your comments. Forgiveness is so necessary to our well-being. I’ve had struggles letting go of resentment towards ones who seemed to hurt me. When I sincerely forgave and dropped the memories, I felt so free! (It wasn’t easy and, in some cases, took a long time.) We don’t need to carry around the heavy, burdensome bag of falsehoods. They were never true about God’s man, and that is the only man there is or ever could be. What freedom and liberty is ours when we truly drop those false pictures! Thank you, God!

  15. The mistake that a lot of people tend to make about forgiveness, though, is thinking that it means to automatically let that person back into their personal lives. I used to be one of those who thought that it was the same thing as condoning the behavior. It wasn’t until I first started studying metaphysics (a different kind) 10 years ago that I really learned that it’s simply letting go of the negative mortal effects from the behavior.

  16. It is wonderful how each person/perspective holds a piece of the puzzle. We all win together and we all lose together – we are all connected. It feels good to hear about healings and sometimes we might press our brothers and sisters to have them not understanding the root of the issue. Let go of the pain and be free! And, well, yes, that is obvious. But, are we being ignorant by doing so? If someone sees something wrong in society, should we tell them to just forgive? Let’s not disturb the quiet waters. Let’s instead “believe” there is harmony. Awww, belief… But, should we feel harmony when there is something wrong in society? Should we say, peace, peace… Or, would that allow error to smolder? Is that good for them or us? How can we do better?

  17. Here it is night already. And I just thought about forgiving and forgetting.
    What does it matter what somebody did to one negatively in former times? We are living in the now of divine Love’s presence where the word ”abuse” or like that is unknown. And the Holy Bible says ”now is the pleasent time, now is the day of salvation, let us be joyful in it!’ Actually in God’s kingdom where we all have ever been, nothing ever happend what has to be forgiven, for all is good, because God, who fills aĺl space, is the all and only Good. I had to think about whom I might have to forgive; but nearly immediately these above glorious thoughts – angel thoughts – came to me.
    Thank you Evan for today’s SpiritView which let’s me ponder this important theme and bringing healing to my thinking. Am very grateful for it!

  18. Forgiving, I feel, has to do with what is going on in our thought, not that of the one who has seemingly behaved unkindly or abusively. Perhaps we’ve tried to reason with them, and point out the error, and it hasn’t been accepted at all. That’s when I definitely had to forgive as Jesus did—“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” To forgive seemed difficult to do, but it brought peace to me, and I know that either here or hereafter they will wake up and rid themselves of that behavior and thinking. Loving unconditionally is the answer. We don’t have to accept the behavior, but for our own sake we need to let go and know that divine Mind is governing us all. Impersonzlize the evil, and not attach it to ourselves or others.

    1. Daphne – I like what you have said. My concern is when you say to love unconditionally. I want to do that but when you have a person tell you “I love Christians, they just keep on forgiving” it seems like something more should be done. As though they are off on a mission to hurt others. That is a hard one. Maybe just letting go is the answer. Certainly I don’t want to take on someone else’s issues so forgiveness is necessary. But that one is hard to let go when it seems like they are bound and determined to hurt more people. Maybe it is best to just leave it in God’s hands.
      Thank you for the other comments too here – very helpful, especially Nergish.

  19. Yes of course forgiveness is incomplete without forgetting. That’s why the saying “Forgive and Forget”. It’s difficult though to FORGET, but with understanding it becomes easy and effortless.
    Many years ago I had attended a “Forgiveness Workshop” where we were taught that when it becomes difficult to forgive, think and dwell on the good things the person has done for you…or else think of the good things anybody in your life has done for you…this takes away the disturbed thought, and peace, calm and bliss abides in your thought. It becomes easier to forget the wrong done and enables us To FORGIVE AND FORGET.
    I would love to share something else I learnt in this FORGIVENESS WORKSHOP which will make forgiving n forgetting easier. The parents who lost their only daughter were able to ” forgive and forget ” their perpetrators, who later on were transformed, became angelic and served their forgivers (viz the parents whose daughter they murdered) in their old age.
    Thanks Evan for the beautiful and very much needed inspiration, for everyone in the universe. God bless your blog which enables us to imbibe good virtues.

  20. This is what was said on a CS program that Ethel Baker was on and the subject was forgiveness. “Teach us to forgive dear Father in heaven, and help us to forget that we have forgiven”.

  21. I once read a definition of forgive as “to treat another as though they have never wronged you.” So true forgiveness includes the forgetting, but it can be pretty tough to continue to share joy and friendship with someone who you feel has wronged you.

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