One way to keep a relationship strong and happy, is to not place blame on the other person when things go wrong. This course of action may sound ludicrous to the self-righteous thought quick to point fingers in the other direction, but in Science, it makes perfect sense, and it works.
Mary Baker Eddy wrote, “Evil is neither quality nor quantity: it is not intelligence, a person or a principle, a man or a woman, a place or a thing, and God never made it” (Message of 1901, p. 12).
When we blame our neighbor for an evil, we instantly make that evil real. In our mind, it becomes a person with a mind that has power to do evil things. This approach can have the effect of building the problem up and making it worse.
In Science, evil is never real. The wise thinker does not verbally and mentally work to build up evil through accusation, blame and self-righteous finger-pointing, but works to tear it down and prove its unreality.
For instance, a time when I felt severely wronged by a friend who turned against me, it felt easy to make a long list of grievances I had against this person, to tell my other friends how wronged I had been, and to list out all the evils I perceived this person to be waging against me. But I didn’t. After struggling with arrogant ego, offended pride, and self-indignation, I realized that the best course of action was to metaphysically undo all the claims of evil before me and not give them one iota of power. I needed to see that evil could not become a person in my life that could inflict me harm.
I prayed to see God alone in control of my life, and that this person had no influence, control, or effect on me. I took the evil away from him and saw that it was mortal mind’s distorted view of him as a child of God that was my enemy. Not him. A child of God does not inflict evil on another child of God. And there aren’t any other kind of “children,” I decided.
It took a strong dose of humility to succeed, but it was worth the effort. In a short time, my anger went away, and I was able to shower him with love in my thought. We have since completely parted ways, but the few times I saw him years ago, where amicable, and I have no feelings of blame toward him. I can see that he never was the problem. It was the temptation to see him as evil and in control of me, that was my error to overcome. And over time, the damage I thought he had done me, became as nothing.
If you must place blame, blame mortal mind, and put your energies into loving your neighbor more in a way that masters the perceived evil and renders it harmless for everyone involved. In this way, you conquer the error rather than becoming a victim of it.
Thank you so much, Evan, for these wonderful helpful statements of Truth. I love the way you could see that the person “never was the problem” and then rendering the evil as powerless and therefore harmless and thus conquering it rather than becoming a victim of it. This is so helpful for me for similar situations that I have had to deal with. Thank you, again, so much.
Fantastic explanation of how to deal with mortal mind as opposed to blame a sinless child of God.
Thankyou for sharing.
Practical advice indeed. When one is able to let such things go a tremendous weight is lifted.off ones shoulders.
“I prayed to see God alone in control of my life, and that this person had no influence, control, or effect on me.” – What a great way to pray! I love this wonderful approach and will certainly do my best to put it into practice also. Thank you SO much, Evan!
Thank you Evan, always helpfull!!!
This is so helpful Evan … thank you. It occurs to me that any mortal imagery is as bad as numbering – it is circumscribing and outlining according to the so-called mortal mentality rather than letting Spirit, God be the outline.
Wow great practical advise..this must have been why Jesus said: “Father forgive them they know not what they do.”
Why give evil a voice by giving it a person?”
All power belongs to God. Therefore all power is good.
Remember to include “self” in that rejection of blame….I broke a full cup of hot drink yesterday morning, spilling it widely…then I laughed to myself, blaming the law of gravity for the mess, cleaned it up, went on with my day, and mopped the entire floor later. Now I’m asking God to lead me to a new (matching) cup to replace the ceramic one, seeing only God’s good, no one to blame, except the law of gravity. What a relief.
Thank you so much. I needed this. These thoughts will help me get through those times when self righteousness seems weighs me down.
This is really, really helpful. Thanks so much for sharing! Definitely printing this one out & keeping.
Thank you for this spiritual guidance Evan. I’m sure all of us can remember a time when we have had to wake up to the false claims of mortal mind , changing our reaction to a personality instead of What we should do which is seeing our fellow man as an individual child of God. You explain totally the tenacity to Truth we must apply to these situations. Great,thoughtful post!
Sorry if I’m telling you all something you know but I wanted to mention that if you read the lesson sermon on quarterly.christianscience.com there is an excellent bible lens alongside. It has helped me personally with some historical facts and thought it worth sharing. Have a Love filled day all❣️
After I became a Christian Scientist just after a major healing while I was a sophomore college, one of the first thoughts that came to me was “I must love my stepmother.” This I was able to do and soon after a way worked out for me to live with my brother during vacations.
EVAN, a needed reminder about not attaching EVIL to person, place, or thing, or mob. GOD is in charge.
Much gratitude…
OH MY GOSH, EVAN! THANK YOU!!!
Perfect.
OH MY GOSH, EVAN AND EVERYONE, THANK YOU!
On my morning prayer walk, after listening to national news on the radio, I was working with the Rule for Motives and Acts from our Church Manual. That was a wake-up call to rebuke evil, and to see my brother man with “true brotherliness, charitableness, and forgiveness.” Now this post makes it so practical, and I am lovingly grateful. I imagine that Evan must be grinning ear-to-ear to be receiving these wonderful comments!
Wonderful!
Thank you for the this and especially for the personal experience and guidance of how you worked through it. It’s definitely something we can ALL relate to and work on in some way, with some person or group with opinions or actions differing from our own. I was thinking of this very kind of situation yesterday and relating it to “A rule for motives and acts” in our church manual. Especially the part: “In Science, Divine Love alone governs man and a Christian Scientist reflects the sweet amenities of Love in rebuking sin, in true brotherliness, charitableness, and forgiveness.”
I have been working towards making this a daily study and am starting to see more clearly why it’s so important. The whole “rule” is a wonderful way to work through a multitude of situations with anyone in our lives. Here’s the whole rule.
“A rule for motives and acts”
Neither animosity nor mere personal attachment should impel the motives or acts of the members of The Mother Church. In Science, divine Love alone governs man; and a Christian Scientist reflects the sweet amenities of Love, in rebuking sin, in true brotherliness, charitableness, and forgiveness. The members of this Church should daily watch and pray to be delivered from all evil, from prophesying, judging, condemning, counseling, influencing or being influenced erroneously.
This is so very helpful, Evan. And thank you to all for the beautiful comments! My prayer for today: “Help me to be selfless and see your special creations as 100% pure and good.”
Once when I accidentally hit my ankle bone hard with a golf club, and it hurt like heck, I immediately thought “How stupid I was to do that!”. Then I realized I was calling God’s child stupid, and I corrected the thought and stopped the blame game. The pain ceased immediately and there was no after effect at all. Thank you Evan and all.
Dear Evan, your thoughtful message is exactly what I needed this morning! So helpful with a situation that has had a disturbing effect on my thought for some years. Someone who has seemed to be a disruptive and bullying presence in my experience. Someone I feel I have always been kind to, which has seemed to magnify my feelings of self justification and self righteousness! I would in the past sporadically pray in the attempt to love this person, and then proceed to rehearse in thought the attacks and injustices I felt were inflicted on me. As you describe it can be a struggle! Your blog helps me to see my need for a good dose of humility, and the need for these errors to be cleared out of my thought. That is the blessed Truth to see, that these invasive beliefs are in My thought! That is where they can be reversed and eliminated, and the “distorted view” of another replaced with the truth of God’s loving child. It is “mortal mind’s distorted view” that is my enemy.
Your experience is so helpful to me in gaining dominion over this. Thank you for your practical guidance, inspired reasonings, and especially for your Higher View!! Such a Blessing!
How helpful and thoughtful! Just what I needed. Thank you so very much!
Peter
How helpful and thoughtful! Just what I needed. Thank you so very much!
Peter R
Thank you for the excellent advice this post gives us.
Enlightening, Evan and all.
Have had this experience, but had followed the wrong course in dealing with mortal mind, imposing on God’s spiritual man. It was decades ago, but the aftermath of the wrong thinking, about that individual, kept after me long after all those terrible events were past.
Now is as good a time as ever to finally lay that animosity to rest.
Ephesians 4: 31 & 32
31: Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, be put away from you, with all malice:
32: And be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Colossians 3: 13
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any:
even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
The only two entries in the Bible using the word “forgiving”. But they come distinctly to mind when dealing with this message today.
Mortal mind, if it had any power would like to maintain it’s self by imposing on our thinking the impossible, attaching itself to one of us, God’s children. You kill it with kindness! Understood dear teacher!
WOW what a much needed wake-up call this is for me regarding a situation that has lasted over 8o years!!!
Thank you David for this precious input! It melts mortal mind right out of it’s seeming existence!! Love to all who share.
Thank you Evan. I had to laugh at the picture. It’s so mortal! I think this is really important to deal with these days, such is the temptation. Fay you are so rights it’s a form of outlining. Gods will be done not Rick’s or anyone else’s. We are all so blessed. Thanks for sharing guys.
Reminds me of Balaam and his donkey.
Dear Evan, I am so grateful for SpiritView everyday. I love your openness of your own experiences which helps myself everyone so much. I find your examples and explanations so much easier to understand Christian Science. Thank You so much.
I was tending to do this error even on a friend of mine. But through prayer in Christian Science and much patience with myself I learned to love these friend’s more and more in christly way and bless them. I am very grateful that we learn in CS to love our neighbor more instead blaming them! Yes it is the Religion of absolute Love and Truth and Life – so wonderful.
Thank you very very much dear Evan, for your blessing and loving SpiritView!
So interesting and inspiring all the daily comments.
Excellent, Evan, and so much needed! Thank you!
This is a wonderful and important message. It reminds me of the fact that I cannot be tricked into seeing the false picture of man, but it is my Divine Right to see only the true picture of man, as God’s loving and very good image and likeness, the child of God.
There are 2 people, a mother and daughter, who I still harbor resentment toward after almost 3 years. Evan, just as you state in your post I “felt severely wronged by a friend who turned against me,” and seemed to have convinced her daughter to turn against my daughter. They had grown up together over many years and I felt hurt and sad to see these relationships end that way.
A couple of months ago this woman left a greeting card in my door. There was no apology but it seemed a gesture of some good will. I ignored it and felt I had nothing to say to this woman. It is time for this to be healed, it has held me back in spiritual progress. There is no evil in these children of God. They are loving and pure, tolerant and understanding as God made them. Nothing can keep me from seeing this truth. As Linda said, humility is key. To see that my self-righteous way of looking at the situation was false. I pray to see the Light! Thanks to Evan and all commenters.
Thank you for so openly giving.us your testimony of your loving insight in that situation. 🙂
Denyse – Montréal
Just the ideas I needed to help a family in turmoil ! I had prayed all night to find the words to reconcile mother, daughter and father (ex husband) and your message of today was so perfetly what I needed. You gave me tne angel thoughts that made all the difference. Thank you so much to be listening and sharing the ideas so many of us need to help ourselves and others Praise the Lord for SPIRIT VIEW !
Dear Evan,
Thank you for the quiet time I spent reading your blog and the comments which followed. Much appreciated.
Ah. Yes I an undo false claims. I do not have to keep them. Thanks for the reminder.
Wow, this is such a wake-up call! Thank you Evan and all the other responders.