Have you ever been very loyal to another, only to find yourself betrayed by them unexpectedly?
I have. In fact, recently, and I’ve been wrestling with how to prevent myself from being taken advantage of by another’s adverse change of heart in the future.
When I read the Bible lesson yesterday, the passage “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another,” jumped out for scrutiny.
In the past, I’ve interpreted this verse as wise counsel to stay out of debt, to not put yourself into a position where you’re serving creditors, and becoming enslaved to worry and fear about how to pay bills more than you are paying attention to serving your debt and duty to God.
As I listened for fresh inspiration, the words, “Owe no man your loyalty,” screamed out for attention.
I thought, “Whoa!” Isn’t loyalty a good quality? But then I thought about my recent sour experience where I did have loyalty to another, and thought they had loyalty to me, but when selfish pursuit entered the equation, without warning the loyalty suddenly meant nothing. My trust felt betrayed.
As always, I know these types of trials serve to lift us higher and closer to God.
I remembered Hymn 204 from the Christian Science Hymnal, which refers to God sending His witnesses to speak the truth, and states in part,
No trouble shall touch them, no foes that appear,
Shall e’er from their loyalty move them;
And the lightning bolt of inspiration struck me; it was loyalty to God that I needed to perfect, and not loyalty to mortals.
Loyalty to a mortal can be blind and misguided.
For example, blind loyalty to a good boss may work fine 98% of the time, but if the boss had a temporary lapse in ethics or discretion, our unwitting compliance could lead to evil consequences that harm the innocent and injure our career.
Mortals are fallible.
But divine Mind is infallible, and this is where our loyalty needs to be placed—to the right and the true, to the moral and the spiritual, and not into mistake-prone mortals.
When we put our trust in God, rather than in man, we are able to more clearly sort out the right from the wrong and make better decisions for everyone involved. This rule works for marriage, family, church and any other relationship we are involved with.
“Owe no man your loyalty…” and no man will be able to violate your trust and faith.
Throw my loyalty more consistently to Truth, I decided, and my relationships with others still would be healthy and a joy, but also strengthened, protected and purified by my commitment to right and keener discernment of lurking errors that need to be admitted and faced up to along the way before they stab me in the metaphorical back.
I feel a lot lighter today! No burden of false loyalty to carry around anymore…
Cheers
Along those same lines, I had an experience many years ago that taught me that a good deed done to others, will be repayed, BUT not necessarily by the individual you expect to return the favor.
I had done a number of favors for a specfic member of my family, so when it came time for me to get help in return, that individual kept blowing me off. Several times were set up for them to help me, and each time, they were a no-show, with plenty of so-called valid excuses to go along with it.
Then, suddenly, a friend approached me and stated that they had some time that they could assist me. I politely declined their help, only to whine about the family member that was NOT there. Finally my mother approached me and reminded me that since I had been very selfless in the past in helping my relative, that God was providing me with the needed help. I could accept that other individual’s help because they were being loving and caring toward me, a true quality from God. I didn’t need to bellyache about the other thoughtless relative, God had provided the help I needed, at the time I needed it. It wasn’t up to me to question from what source it came from.
Need I say, I was very grateful for the person that did come to my aide and I made sure they knew it. Lorna
Lorna,
Your story is very heartening, and right on! Thanks for sharing.
What does it mean to be loyal to God rather than man? or to trust God rather than man? Because we don’t see God, or deal with him in our daily material life, but we do deal with other men. I’ve always thought trusting in God is to trust men, who are spiritual and God’s idea. We see evidence of God in our evidence of good in man, so why can’t we trust men and be loyal to them?
Thanks Evan.
I’ve had a bout with a souring relationship lately and wasn’t sure how to go about thinking it through. This was helpful.
Reply to anonymous. In Science and Health, “man is not God, and God is not man.” There is only one Mind in operating the universe, including man.
Hope this helps.
Thanks, Evan for this blog — it is a help to me as well.
But I do have a similar problem with trust in God and not man as anonymous stated. When someone tells me to be loyal to God and not men, I take it to mean trust in God and forget man. Mortals do ignorantly or purposefully abuse, betray, slander and the like, so I like the idea of turning away from men and sticking with God. It then becomes a me and God against the world thing, though.
So, how does being loyal to God have any affect with men? I don’t see a connection.
I believe loyalty to God is the equivalent of being loyal to the “true” man of God’s creating. The true man of God’s creating is honest and trustworthy. But this true man is not a devious dishonest mortal. And this is where the distinction lies and wisdom and discernment is required. If we put our loyalty to a mortal, a creature susceptible of good days and bad days, we’re liable to be betrayed at some point. But if we put out trust in the true man of God’s creating, the man who is governed by Principle and Truth, we will be safe and interact with our neighbor in wise ways that bless them and us, and keep us both out of trouble.
The Bible gives us 2 commands: Love God, and love our neighbor. To love our neighbor does not mean blind loyalty to a fallible mortal. It means see the truth about God’s man and bless our neighbor with that truth. In other words, stay true, or loyal, to the truth about man as God’s creation and hold to that truth no matter what our neighbor does, good, bad, or otherwise. But it doesn’t mean be used by them if they fall short of that ideal.
Jesus said “Be wise as serpents.” Don’t be used by evil in others. But still love them. This is not a blind loyalty, but a wide-eyed realism that keeps one spiritually minded, but also out of the grips of weak states of thought that would betray us unsuspectingly.
Hope that helps…
When I first worked in business out of college, I got a job in sales and soon had trouble deciphering between truth and falsity, since there were a lot of talkers in the sales business.
But my Sunday School teaching helped me a lot — that and Mrs. Eddy’s insights. I learned that I could best judge situations by what people did, rather than by what they said. Soon I could negotiate my way through the maze.
In later years, when an illegal and unethical situation developed where I worked in a big NYC law firm, I remember thinking there was nothing I could do about it, except just accept the fact that others were dishonest.
But this suggestion was arrested when I realized I could decide whether or not I was going to live with this error, that is agree with, expect, feel surrounded by or helpless to make corrections about — or refuse to accept this illegal behavior had power to influence me or others — or even dominate our work environment.
Praying with the idea that I must importunately (urgently) pray for myself every day, I realized I did not have to live with someone else’s sins, or belief that evil was normal. I could go to work each day and still maintain my dominion over these thoughts.
Literally, within days of this realization, the individual and his associates left our firm.
Really we choose every day — every moment — what we live with, and that determines all the rest.
For my part, I am choosing more and more each day to live with divine Life, Love, Mind. And it’s a God-send when I do!
Susan in Utah