Definition of tentativeness: Said or done in a slow, hesitant, and careful way that reveals a lack of confidence. Encarta
I learned a valuable lesson on the value of conquering tentativeness last weekend.
My Senior Mixed Doubles Tennis Team competed in Spokane for a regional title. It was a glorious 3 days of competitive tennis with other teams from the Washington and Oregon area. My team swept through the tournament undefeated. Way to go team…5 wins, 0 losses! On to Sunriver for sectionals competition we go next month.
The high point of the weekend was a match I played Saturday evening against a tough couple who were hard hitters, including a leftie with a wicked forehand.
Early in the match I felt myself holding back, a bit restrained in my strokes and volleys. It was not a winning strategy. I heard my coach’s voice as an inner instructor saying, “Loosen up, don’t hold back and follow through without hesitation.” The word “tentative” came to mind. I was being very tentative in my play and it sapped my game of power, confidence and strength.
I had to drop tentativeness to be successful, I realized.
It’s been a recurring challenge for me in competition. I get too cautious in my strokes afraid I’ll over hit or miss, but in effect do myself more harm than good. Holding back can prevent one from going forward.
I dropped the tentativeness and committed to putting into practice everything I had learned about playing tennis. No more fear, worry and concern about missing a shot. Just concentrate on doing every shot super well.
It worked!
I loosened up like a dry noodle soaked in water. Except I wasn’t flimsy! I hit shots that amazed me, and won points. I was a new player and it felt wonderful.
Then I thought about the evils of tentativeness in other aspects of life, including faith and prayer.
Does tentative prayer work? I don’t think so. It implies lack of faith. It includes fear, worry, concern about outcomes. Tentative prayer is matter-based faith that weighs outcomes in terms of material and spiritual possibilities. It’s doesn’t put full faith in Spirit, which is required for best results.
Turning from tentativeness in prayer provides the opportunity to shake free from materialism and demonstrate full blown freedom in Spirit. This is done by putting more faith in Spirit, less in matter. Like in my tennis game, I had to put less trust in my human reasoning and caution and more faith in the principles of tennis. When I followed the principles of effective play without fear, the results were so much better.
So, if there’s any tentativeness in your prayers today, it’s time to leave fears behind and jump into a consciousness of “I can be everything God created me to be!” Success will come more frequently.
Just what I needed to read for a dog I’m praying for today. Bless you for this reminder that leaning wholeheartedly on Spirit is the path to freedom. Love won’t let us fall down; She’s the strongest door jamb around. 🙂
Hi there thanks so much for your meaningful post. It really is just what I needed to hear. I have been battling to overcome a fear of rejection which impacts on my career in a bad way. This fear of rejection caused by tentative effort is really just fear. Fear that I may succeed but will probably fail and because I have failed I will be rejected by others. My efforts are always cautious and you are so right, God did make me who I am to be who I am and of course to be my best. I will take this truth with me and perhaps I can conquer it. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thanks Evan, as a tentative (flexible, accommodating, empathetic, sensitive new-age) guy I have to remember about the importance of spiritual muscle.
Evan, this article is a big help – thank you very much!
Perfect timing Evan – last night I was praying to understand how to actually pray, so thank you!