True love. What is it?

June 5, 2006 | 9 comments

How do you know if someone truly loves you? It’s hard to tell sometimes, but if you know what to look for, the decision is much easier.

True love is not fleeting. It’s permanent. It’s not dependent upon sexual favors. It’s not dependent upon how much money is involved. It’s not dependent on fame, status or privilege.

True love is spiritual. It lasts forever. It is reliable, dependable, committed and ever faithful.

True love is not human. It’s divine. It comes from a higher place than a person. It’s not a feeling we create. It’s a divine presence we feel.

True love does not rise and fall like the stock market, or come and go like circling birds wondering where to land next. True love is consistent, constant, centered, and stable.

True love is not emotional, vapory, temperamental or difficult. True love is divine Love, the power and presence of God that is ever-present, predictably good, upbeat and positive.

True love does not sour when adversity looms. Love does not flee when times get tough. Love is not afraid of sickness, is not afraid to help others in need, and does not shirk from responsibility when duty calls. Love is the ever-present helper, the cheerful assistant and the needed support. Love is moral. Love looks for the good and finds it.

True love is not something you can buy, find in the classifieds, or have fall out of the sky. True love comes from God, and is expressed as God’s qualities manifest through us.

So, if you’re wondering whether you’ve found true love or not, ask yourself, “Is this person expressing God’s qualities? Is he or she expressing unselfishness, faithfulness, commitment, honesty, integrity, genuine care and concern, thoughtfulness and devotion? Do I feel these qualities when I am around this person? Or is their love dependent upon something physical that comes and goes with time?”

Don’t be overly tough, for we all have shortcomings to overcome! But when it comes to a long term commitment like marriage, you want to be sure you’ve got the real thing before you sign the papers. True love is not hard to tell when you look for the spiritual evidence.

What qualities of true love would you add to the above list, or qualities to avoid?

Please share in the comment section below.

9 thoughts on “True love. What is it?”

  1. Divine Love is constant and there is never any fear that it will be withdrawn or end. The closest thing to this humanly, is if you can completely be yourself and know that you will not be loved any less for it.

    This sounds bad, but I have heard someone say that true love is if you feel the same about a person, even after they had been through a farming accident; in other words, you love their qualities, not just their material shell.

  2. True love is always and only spiritual. It takes spiritual perception to see “God’s own likeness.”

    I married my husband (before discovering Christian Science) he was an alcoholic of 22 years. Then, when I found Christian Science, and was spiritually able to look past the false sense of self to the Christ (God’s own likeness) he was completely healed without any matieral means. To me seeing the Christ no matter what the claim apprears to be is the only way to Love.

  3. This leaves me with a question. If you find out after marriage that perhaps you didn’t make the best choice, perhaps you were deceived by some false ideals and didn’t look deeply enough. what then? Does one just have to suffer with it so as not to break up a marriage with children? Even if the children are older? Is the only job at this point overcoming all the shortcomings through prayer in order to keep a marriage functional? Is it wrong to want to be fulfilled in love by feeling more unity and companionship and loving attension?

  4. To above,

    The first thing I would do is pray for redemption of the marriage from whatever seems to not be right. Discord can be healed. Just yesterday I had a woman who has been around for several decades, tell me that her marriage had gotten very discordant and she was ready to call it quits. But she decided to work it out spiritually. A practitioner told her to correct her own view of her husband, rather than trying to correct her husband. She did. She got her view right, and her husband changed. The marriage improved drastically, and the union thrived. So, improvement is possible! There is a beautiful, loving, caring man in your husband. God made him that way. Look deeper into Spirit for him, and you just may find the husband you had hoped to marry all along!

  5. That is a beautiful healing! One question, why do we long for companionship anyway? Should we be so self-sufficient that we don’t need companionship? Why is it so great to share things with people? I can’t imagine not doing that. One problem is that I don’t share as much as I’d like to with my spouse for various reasons. What is rigth to be fulfilled here and what just needs to be outgrown?

  6. To above,

    I think a longing for companionship is really a longing to know divine Love better and live it more fully. Love is manifest as kindness, generosity, sharing and caring, and so as we seek out Love, we naturally desire to express these qualities more, and do express them with greater ease, joy and freedom.

    Marriage is about open and free sharing of love between spouses. Nothing is hidden away or held back in Love, for Love is a safe place to be. There may be a greater flowering of your marriage yet to be experienced as you share more freely with your spouse.

  7. It seems like two good people who are married can have different approachs to things. One is a communicator, the other is good at efficiency. One might be resourceful and frugal, the other may be a smart shopper. Many times we learn from our spouses different strengths, or they balance us and blend together beautifully. What if there are some things that just conflict. Or lots of things that conflict. We don’t have to share every interest, but if one is good at expressing loving kindness and the other one is self absorbed. Or one is a good communicator and loves communication and the other is not good at it and doesn’t make the effort. One wants to spend time with spouse and the other one is absorbed in work all the time. When there are too many of these conflicts, then it’s tempting to think it’s not a good match. I think about world conflict and then look at marriage. I don’t think we should ever give up on the idea that it is possible to heal a marriage. It’s possible to learn to have a meaningful and harmonious relationship, even where there are differences. Just like our greatest hopes for the conflicts between countries. Even if divorce is wise in some circumstances, we don’t have to abandon the healing of the claim that two cultures, two personalities, just can’t unify. In all cases they can continue to try to come together to exemplify divine Love through their expression of loving kindness to each other, the community and family. This way, we arn’t giving up on marriage, no matter what.

  8. hi evan, how can I pray for marriage? I am now in the age of marriage and I’m feeling a little worried, as I don’t have a special person in my life with whom to take this step I don’t want to stress about this, but trust God more.. thanks

  9. To gabriela,

    The most important “marriage,” is the oneness you have with divine Love. You are complete in Love, and you discover and experience that completeness by living and expressing divine Love everyday, and progressively so.

    Love provides. Love makes complete. I’d suggest not seeing yourself as lacking a partner, but fulfilled by your spiritual unity with Love. In Love, there is no lack. A partner may appear, or may not, I don’t know. But you will feel, be, and express completeness either way, and that’s what truly meets your need in the long run.

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