“You don’t always have to be right,” is a truism that can save you a great amount of grief and worked up emotion when participating in discussions with others.
And I not talking about being wrong, like it’s okay to be incorrect, especially when the need is for integrity and truth-telling.
I’m talking about those times when the other person you’re talking with believes something different than you do, and they aren’t going to come over to your side of the argument.
One case in point is discussing religion.
If I’m talking with someone who is firmly committed to a set of religious beliefs, I harbor no intent to persuade them about anything. I look for opportunity to express what I understand to be true, but I respect their right to decide what they’re going to accept as true, and leave it at that. I don’t need to take any stance of “I’m right and you’re wrong” just because they believe something different than I do. Over the long run, what God determines to be true is all that will be true anyway, and I have much to learn about that myself.
The same rule applies to relations in marriage, in the workplace, among family members.
Too often conflict and bitterness erupt when two people take opposing positions of “I’m right and you’re wrong.” And it can cause great turmoil and heartbreak. But it’s often not necessary.
More often, the need is not for us to keep arguing until there is some admission that we are the “right one,” but for the relationship to feel more of the influence of humility, open-mindedness, consideration and patience. And we may be the one who needs to bring those healing qualities into that relationship.
Less ego and more love opens mental doors for more productive conversations.
So, if you ever start to feel tense when making a point to another, it might be time to relax and trust the truth of your argument more, rather than raise your voice, pitch out more debate points and cause more tension.
You don’t have to always be the “right one” in the eyes of others. Let truth speak for itself, and trust its acceptance in the heart of others to God’s perfect timing. In the meantime, you’ll likely get along much better with those around you and preserve the greater good.
“Show me your ways, O Lord; Teach me your paths” Psalms 25:4, NKJV.
Such wise words Evan. I have learned them to be true over forty years of marriage and working in one job where my colleagues came from many different countries, were of different religions and had very different points of view. A great thought for the day.
Thank you Evan. This is such a wonderful post for guidance. Just what I needed and intend to share on my Facebook page.
Thank you Evan!!! To discover the importance of dissolving the “ego” that claims to be separate from Divine Mind – in our consciousness is a great journey and takes every moment of our days!
So True! Thanks, Evan! Love how you are so willing to address problems and issues on a more Human level…..where most of us still live and dwell! Learning to be a Good Human Being is a solid foundation for being a Good Metaphysician! As a Spiritual Teacher used to say: “Would You Rather Be Right…….or Happy?” Hmmmmmm…
Thanks Evan, you are right. In loving one another we recognize that all must sooner or later plant themselves in Christ the true idea of God.
Years ago one of the hardest things to do was to drop my end of the rope in a conversation about religion. Also, to listen and be quiet and appear ‘dumb ‘or ‘clueless’ to the one telling me about their religion. My confidence in this way of living and the fact that God is speaking to all of us and knows just what to say to us, makes this stress free. Good to be reminded.
Be silent in humility and God is in control; you don’t have to be are two thoughts that I work with.
Maintaining good relationships is a delicate issue and very often sensitive issues are kept away, to keep the relation and not risk it. But that’s being selfish. Isn’t it? Religion is a sensitive issue but if we have gained good from what we are learning in a particular religion, its worth the effort to share and argue if required. Well whether the other person accepts it, is not for us to fear. As Evan says Truth is the best communicator.
TRUTH is a synonym for GOD and no loss can occur from arguing for the Truth. Well, if it is not taken well by our relative or friend, we need to leave it at that, knowing fully well that. “Love (another name for God) inspires, illumines, designates and leads the way.” Love will communicate whatever is required. God is always on the scene though he seems invisible. We can trust God with our relationship, cause it is He who binds us together and is always in Control.
Such good and wise words! God is preparing the soil in human consciousness before another may be ready to recognize the Truth as taught in Christian Science. I think the best way to teach is through our example, patience, good humor, forgiveness, good deeds and unselfish loving -knowing that our Heavenly Father does speak directly to each of his children in a way they can understand. “Put up thy sword” Jesus said.
On my desk is “It was more important to love than to always have the right answer.” And how can we be sure WE had the right answer, anyway?
Joan W
Evan, your graphics are terrific.