I momentarily marveled this morning at our son’s ability to stop eating when he’s had enough food. He’s always been able to say no to over eating. He can have a whole plate of food before him, take a few bites and say, “I’m full,” put his fork down, and be perfectly content until the next meal. He will not nibble, take a little more to pass the time, or eat the food anyway. He’ll stop. That’s it. No more. He’s done, and happily so.
My wife and I struggled in the early years of raising our children with how to educate our two kids about eating. We both had been raised in the mantra of “Eat everything on your plate,” but we both had struggled in times past with eating too much food and didn’t want our kids to struggle with the same nonsense. So, after much prayer and discussion, we adopted the habit of giving them small portions at mealtime, and then letting them ask for more if they desired. As time evolved, they rarely ask for seconds, and learned through experience to eat modestly and happily so. And their plates were generally clean when finished.
As I rejoiced over our son’s self-knowledge of knowing when enough is enough, I thought about ways people are mentally influenced to step over the bounds of reason unthinkingly and then act out the role of victim when it comes to eating.
It’s a common excuse for overeaters to utter complaints such as “I couldn’t help it. I didn’t realize I was eating so much” and so on. But in truth, we can help it, and we can stop, but mortal mind has so educated us to believe we can’t think for ourselves and act according to what we know is right, that we believe it and act out the helplessness.
The dictum of “Eat everything on your plate,” should be banished into the cauldron of “never again” forever.
What if someone gives you too much food? What if you unthinkingly took too much food and soon realized your error? What if you’re at a restaurant that serves enough helping to one person to fill three? Should you still have to eat it? Definitely not. We should eat what is appropriate, not what mortal mind is whispering into thought we should do.
The one Mind thinks for itself and is not swayed by popular belief, mom’s opinion, cultural customs, past habits, restaurant practice, the eyes, the stomach, mindlessness or gluttony. As children of God, we are in possession of the one Mind that thinks for itself and makes wise sound decisions. When we sit down to a meal, we are not governed by what is put before us. We are governed by God, and God will lead us aright if we listen and faithfully follow.
We can say “Enough is enough,” put our fork down, walk away and be perfectly content until the next meal.
Evan – thanks for another inspiring piece on overeating/dieting/beauty and image. You should put all these similar-themed articles into a pocket sized book! Each article has been a help to me — and a much needed dialogue to today’s conversation about the body.
Bravo!
Thanks Kim!
Amen. This reminds me of the underlying principles behind the Weigh Down Diet (eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full) and the infamous “Margaret Cho’s **** It Diet.”
Cho lost a lot of weight a few years ago, and people assumed she must have done something drastic, like stapling her stomach or starving herself. She didn’t. She simply quit dieting and gave herself permission to eat when she was hungry and quit when she was full.
She said her mom used to admonish her to eat all the food on her plate, reminding her that children are starving in Africa. Cho said something like: “It does not help the starving children in Africa if I am fat.”
I thought that was brilliant. Cho’s language is a little (OK, a lot) raw, but I love the underlying principle.
That’s the first effective rebuttal I’ve heard about “…the starving children in Africa..” guilt trip… Thanks!
I KNOW you’re not advocating “wasting” leftovers, any more than Jesus left the remaining bread behind to get stale after the multitudes were fed. When it’s restaurant food, doggie bags work, huh? 🙂 Seriously, this a helpful take on an important subject (even if I did read it three years after you blogged it). I was healed of bulimia by God and God alone, so I know whereof you speak.
As Emily said, it’s kind of like the principles of the Weigh Down diet “eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full.” She also gives ideas on how to handle 3x too much restaurant portions – ask for a carry out container right away, cut the food in half (or thirds) and put the extra food in the carry out to take home and eat when you are legitimately hungry again.
Another good idea is to order one entree and share with your dinner partner. But, if you just have to throw some extra food away that is ok, you are not a servant to mortal mind in the form or society’s urging large amounts of food on you when you don’t really need or want it. Be grateful for having just enough and for having our joy from Gods nurturing love, and opportunities to give love and joy!