Eliminating the sting of defeat

November 29, 2013 | 6 comments

I captained a USTA 7.0 mixed doubles team that recently competed in a playoff tournament. The first two days of the tournament was a round robin between six teams. The top three would advance to the playoffs.

We were playing well, winning most matches, until the final team match when we got stomped 3 – 0. Ouch. Two of the three matches went to 3rd set tie-break, but we couldn’t pull it off! It was a resounding defeat.

I harbored no ill feelings, but there was a touch of disappointment within that battled for attention. In praying for quick release, I thought of all the outcomes we had to be grateful for.

The gratitude list was easy to compile: we were a very happy team, had wonderful teammates, had a grand time, faced healthy strong competition that made us better players, and would have endless tournaments in the future to play again. The defeat was not a stopping point of anything good, but a strengthening, growing time that would set us up for even healthier and improved performance ahead. Be grateful for all the good, I reminded myself!

I was happy with that.

I realized that it would have been a greater defeat to harbor feelings of self-pity and woe-is-me. I didn’t need to wallow under that type of demoralizing attitude!

I thanked the other captain for the stiff competition and congratulated his team. We exchanged very friendly greetings and were on our way.

I soon learned that we still placed second and advanced to semi-finals the next day. That was a surprise to me! We lost 1-2 in the semis, but again, by then, there was no such thing as a loss in my mind. Only gain! I was focused on the gain!

And the lesson was learned; turn defeats into victories. Temporary losses are as nothing compared to the spiritual gain we can garner from every contest we enter.

So, seek the spiritual reward above all else, and the sting of defeat will either not come, or pale quickly.

6 thoughts on “Eliminating the sting of defeat”

  1. Spiritual lessons in human activities! Love it! And I love that you are out there “in the world” letting your light shine, Evan. Living Christian Science on the tennis court! Boy, would I love to have you on my team!

  2. I am not a sports lover or watcher, but I can analogize in the same manner when I submit a comment to the various C/S websites and just 1 not accepted, I find myself getting disappointed. Then when I rewrite it so that the submission is accepted, I find that the 2nd submission was better than the first. I still have learning to do by not personalizing so much and thank God for the growing.

  3. I love tennis. I was so disappointed when the Bryan brothers lost in the finals a few weeks ago. I wondered if they recorded the match so they could see what had gone wrong. Winning is always great fun but learning from a loss is pretty good too. I’m ready to watch the Cougs and the Huskies. I won’t say who I’ll be rooting for. I’ll be in a great crowd of family members. I think it is weighted more in favor of the Huskies .”Mush Huskies!”

  4. Yes, I think our sense of sports has to be spiritualized. I try to see the grace of God in the golf swings of all of the people I play with. It is very rewarding.

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