How to Get Rid of a Complaining Attitude

September 29, 2014 | 11 comments

It’s easy to notice other people complaining. They are grumpy, ungrateful, and hard to get along with, not fun to be around and maybe dour. If we’re in a good mood and they’re in a bad mood, we might be looking for the exit door to another place or experience when they start complaining.

It’s not always easy to notice when we are the ones complaining. The criticisms we voice feel justified, honest and needing to be said, although it would be best to not say them at all. Out they spew from our mouth noticed by everyone except for us. Not a pretty picture…

How can we reverse a tendency to complain?

One way, is to be more grateful.

A grateful person is not a complainer. They look for the good and acknowledge it. They recognize that life can be hard, even dark, but they also know that with perseverance, patience and humility, the tough times can be overcome. They don’t let evil overwhelm their perspective. They acknowledge good to have the upper hand in their life and they stand ready to see and welcome any evidence of good they witness.

Another way to defeat complaint is to understand that life is not all about you.

A complainer weighs everything in the scale of self-interest. In their mind, the world revolves around them and if they don’t get what they want they complain.

In truth, the purpose of life is not to serve self-interest, but to serve God, to fulfil the purposes of Good. The more our thought is focused on bearing witness to God’s good, reflecting it, and letting it’s presence be felt in our every relation with others, the more good we’re going to see and the less we’ll find to complain about.

It’s impossible to complain and be grateful at the same time.

So, be grateful, and share your gratitude abundantly with others. It will make you feel good and everyone else too.

“Are we really grateful for the good already received? Then we shall avail ourselves of the blessings we have, and thus be fitted to receive more.” Science and Health, p. 3

11 thoughts on “How to Get Rid of a Complaining Attitude”

  1. Thank you for your article but grumpy, chronic complainers. I myself seem tone one of them. Just got out of Central Texas Rehab Hospital after extensive surgery on my left foot. The foot was reconstructed and a new arch was built. Everything went well. Retraining the foot to walk and waking up the muscles is nectar. I tell you all this because my sense of humor and gratitude have all but disappeared. I seem tone so depressed and fearful lately. In my heart I know better, but an overwhelming fear of falling keeps creeping In. I love your articles, and they help a lot. So please keep them coming. Thank you,

  2. LOVE this article!! It’s been a heartfelt sentiment I have tried to embrace daily for years! Want to know why? Because it WORKS! I have noticed that a grateful heart, evidenced in a sincere, cheerful attitude, even when things are tough, lifts not only my own thought, but it often encourages others in a positive way. Everyone is affected when the dark clouds are cleared away. People often respond to seeing the brighter side of things, the good, however tiny, in a situation. Good thoughts can generate more good thoughts. It’s even more exciting when they describe you as a “positive, upbeat, bright & cheerful kind of person.”

  3. I understand the problem of complaint. I think all of us fall for this
    trick of mortal mind from time to time. I know I do. In fact, I did this
    morning! Then I opened SpiritView; it saved me again!

    I looked up this powerful word (and action!), “gratitude,”
    on Concord for Hymnal references. I love Hymn 147; it says so much about
    the benefits of quiet, sincere gratitude for God’s great love.

    From The Christian Science Hymnal
    by Joseph Barnby

    In God I find a precious gift
    That knows no fear, no feud,
    That glows so still, serene and pure:
    The gift of gratitude.
    It brightens all the paths of earth,
    Reflecting Truth and right,
    For gratitude doth steadfastly
    Abide in heavenly light.
    With confidence it hails each task,
    With courage undismayed,
    For naught against Infinity
    Can ever be arrayed.
    In seamless gratitude I weave
    A silent, healing prayer,
    With shining threads of ceaseless joy;
    For man is God’s great heir.

    1. P.S. And also grateful for all of the contributors who add multiple facets of light (truth) to the original postings (light/truth) that Evan makes.

  4. Thanks Evan and all the contributors. And Shelly line from a hymn (#207) I love says “His arm encircles me, and mine, and all.” When we lean on God he holds us up! And we can never fall out of God’s tender care. When we understand God’s presence and Love for us we can’t be afraid. The Bible tells us “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.” I John 4:18 Godspeed! <3

  5. Thanks all, I would like to add that in our prayers we should not accept the view that anyone can be a complainer – it’s just not their real nature. As we quietly see them as the joyful, grateful child of God, we will lighten their load. It may take time, but we are blessed along the way by this mental work. Mary Baker Eddy in her book Science and Health says, “The way to extract error from mortal mind is to pour in truth through flood-tides of Love.” (p 201). I think we start with our own thought – filling ourselves with Love. Our thinking will then bless others.

  6. It’s a very great article it helped me a lot because iv been hardly thinking of my senses and bearing as a freaky complainer and morose person that not simply thinks straight at the so greatful of the article and anyway keep on steering some other people like me and others too..

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