I came across a fascinating article in the Wall Street Journal titled, “Are therapists to blame for the rise of adults cutting off their parents?” written by Elizabeth Bernstein. The lead-in to the piece reads, “Many moms and dads believe that their adult children are getting bad advice—and a growing number of researchers agree. ‘Everything becomes trauma’” (July 21, 2026).
The article caught my attention, because I’ve had many mothers over the years call into my practice absolutely heart-broken over having their children tell them that they were cutting all ties to them, including contact with grandchildren, on the advice of their therapist. There was no room or provision made for reform and improvement in the relationship. Just a sudden death experience.
Bernstein is not anti-therapy, but questions whether the trend of cutting off ties has gone too far.
When I read the piece, I grew in appreciation for Jesus Christ’s method of healing broken relationships. His teachings in the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew chapters 5 – 7, is a roadmap to building healthy relationships. It instructs us how to overcome hate, anger, resentment, hurt feelings and trauma through learning and practicing real love from God. He teaches that healing comes through forgiveness, patience, humility, peace-making, conquering evil rather than running from it, dissolving destructive pride, ego and self-righteousness, and learning to find the good in others, even when it’s not apparent.
No doubt, many children have issues with their parents that need resolution. My heart goes out to them all, children and parents alike.
I pray that these families find bridges to build and common ground to share, rather than grievances to harbor and division to fear.
I pray that they learn how love can bring them together, rather than allowing hate to keep them apart.
I pray that the love of God finds a way into the hearts of these people that enables them to talk with one another and work out their differences with understanding and patience.
I pray that they find a path to healing where they can function as a family should, as a group of people who love and care for each other.
I pray for the triumph of love over hate.
Thank you, Evan. A meaningful and powerful SV for me personally. So very helpful. ♥️
Per-Sona: to sound thru A mask. We are the Light, not the window pane, therefore the mortal sense of parents or children has no power to act independently of God. There is only the man-ifestation of God going on.
“When the illusion of sickness or sin tempts you, cling steadfastly to God and His idea. Allow nothing but His likeness to abide in your thought. Let neither fear nor doubt overshadow your clear sense and calm trust, that the recognition of life harmonious as Life eternally is—can destroy any painful sense of, or belief in, that which Life is not.”
https://sentinel.christianscience.com/shared/view/2am15fztm3q?s=copylink
A therapist organisation (AAFT) has just commenced advertising on Australian TV. Perfectly legitimate, but your comments are so timely as always Evan.
Liz says
Thank you so much for your comforting words Evan. I am feeling challenged by a feeling of lack of love in my family. This morning the word ‘repine’ came to thought. I looked it up, it means to fret or feel discontent and appears in hymn 166. ‘Think what Father’s smiles are thine’ made me realise God is our Father/Mother smiling on us, the love that says stop fretting. So when the feeling comes I am knowing God’s love for mine and for our universal family.
Thank you Liz. I looked up hymn 166 and thought I’d share the entire hymn.
Know, O child, thy full salvation; / Rise o’er sin and fear and care; / Joy to find, in every station, / Something still to do, or bear.
Think what spirit dwells within thee; / Think what Father’s smiles are thine; / Think what Jesus did to win thee; / Child of heaven, can’st thou repine?
Haste thee on from grace to glory, / Armed with faith and winged with prayer; / Heaven’s eternal day before thee, / God’s own hand shall guide thee there.
So fulfill thy holy mission, / Swift shall pass thy pilgrim-days, / Hope shall change to glad fruition, / Faith to sight and prayer to praise.
(Christian Science Hymnal, No. 166,167, & 518)
Thank you Evan, Elizabeth, and Robert.
Thank you Evan. I have been working (praying) through this very situation for over a year now. It was definitely heartbreaking at first, but divine Love has been meeting my needs. Lately I have been thinking about the prodigal son parable. Rather than ruminate and continue to wonder what I did wrong, I have stepped back and let go. Like the father in the parable, continue to love and stay ready with open arms should this child come “home”. It has not been easy, but realizing that in reality she has never been MINE, but God’s releases so much false responsibility, guilt, condemnation. I am so grateful to know that she is totally cared for by her real parent and so am I.
Ditto!!! While reading your response, the thought came to me “Well, mine has been gone 2 years (this “time”)”. But then I remember that time is not a factor in our lives. (David Hohle has a CS lecture by the same words.)
Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of Christian Science, defined time in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures as “limits, in which are summed up all human acts, thoughts, beliefs, opinions, knowledge; . . . error.” Because God is infinite Life and eternal, true existence operates outside of mortal measurements like past, present, future, delay, or pressure.
[(https://journal.christianscience.com/issues/1959/4/77-4/perfect-timing)
I, too, chose to Let go and Let God, offering my daughter, son, and grandchildren up as sacrifices. I do believe that as long as I continue to Love them, that we will awaken from this dream and we will know that we’d been clad in the panoply of Love all along.
I love Evans (treatment)/ words ” I pray that they learn how Love can bring them together, rather than allowing hate to keep them apart.”
I found a comfort in letting go through my study of Christian Science. I found emotional ( error’s stronghold) relief by practicing Christian Science. This hymn is a wonderful tool I use as my ceaseleless prayer.
Hymn 359
Trust the Eternal when the shadows gather,
When joys of daylight seem so like a dream;
God the unchanging pities like a father;
Trust on and wait, the daystar yet shall gleam.
Trust the Eternal, for the clouds that vanish
No more can move the mountains from their base
Than sin’s illusive wreaths of mist can banish
Light from His throne or loving from His face.
Trust the Eternal, and repent in meekness
Of that heart’s pride which frowns and will not yield,
Then to thy child-heart shall come strength in weakness,
And thine immortal life shall be revealed.
Thank you for your comment LAIL. Your choice to continue to love, even if not immediately returned, will surely bless both you and your family.
Here’s a link people without a subscription can access to the article LAIL shared above:
https://journal.christianscience.com/shared/view/ocypwey9ry?s=copylink
Christian Science is a spiritual solution to a vacuous life often misguided by experts who take the all to material solution as the only path. Thank Evan for bringing this to the surface for a prayerful work today.
Thank you so much Evan. You seem to know each day exactly what I need.
Thank you also for the helpful comments. They soothe.
Thank you for your valuable comments here. I agree and share wish rgat love prevails for families. Much healthier goal for people to live with.
I was unable to open the entire article, but the messages from you,
Evan and others are very helpful, this day, when the hype of family
get togethers is prevalent, like with other holidays. It seems that with
some, the thought of doing away with the “nuclear family” tries to
present itself, in giving power to anything besides the Love of God.
This trend seems to be increasing with the younger generations that
want to change things, but in reality, would not be for the better and
would give God less or no relevance and certain persons or governing
factors, replacing the Love and comfort that true family values bring.
It is so heartwarming to find the Love of God’s universal care and
feeling of belonging here – on this day, as well as every day when
this spiritual presence of family-oriented love is felt and shared.
I thank you all.
“Alert to the Truth that heals” By Carol Rounds. From the September 11, 2017 issue of The Christian Science Sentinel:
https://sentinel.christianscience.com/shared/view/1obymzckoc?s=copylink
thank you J That article was just what I needed this morning after a full day of garden clean up
31 Jesus’ mother and brothers came and stood outside. Then they sent someone with a message for him to come out to them. 32 The crowd sitting around Jesus told him, “Your mother and your brothers and sisters[a] are outside and want to see you.”
33 Jesus asked, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” 34 Then he looked at the people sitting around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. 35 Anyone who obeys God is my brother or sister or mother.” Mark 3:31-35
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In my experience, hardships and broken relationships have often been the catalyst to force me to drop the limited material view of things and seek the spiritual view. The concept of “family,” humanly speaking, is actually very limiting. It can cause us to limit who we love. In other words, shouldn’t we, like Jesus, think of everyone as family instead of limiting the concept of family to only the people that are biologically (materially) so-called “related” to us? This posting by Evan today has many facets but one thing it made me think of is the importance of not limiting our love to just a few people that we think deserve our love because the material view of life tells us that we’re materially “related” to them. Instead we can find family with neighbors, co-workers, the people we encounter at the grocery store, at church, etc., etc. That expanded sense of love can only result in us experiencing more harmony with our “so-called” human family members too.
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Who that has felt the loss of human peace has not gained stronger desires for spiritual joy? The aspiration after heavenly good comes even before we discover what belongs to wisdom and Love. The loss of earthly hopes and pleasures brightens the ascending path of many a heart. The pains of sense quickly inform us that the pleasures of sense are mortal and that joy is spiritual.
The pains of sense are salutary, if they wrench away false pleasurable beliefs and transplant the affections from sense to Soul, where the creations of God are good, “rejoicing the heart.” Such is the sword of Science, with which Truth decapitates error, materiality giving place to man’s higher individuality and destiny.
Would existence without personal friends [or family] be to you a blank? Then the time will come when you will be solitary, left without sympathy; but this seeming vacuum is already filled with divine Love. When this hour of development comes, even if you cling to a sense of personal joys, spiritual Love will force you to accept what best promotes your growth. Friends will betray and enemies will slander, until the lesson is sufficient to exalt you; for “man’s extremity is God’s opportunity.” The author has experienced the foregoing prophecy and its blessings. Thus He teaches mortals to lay down their fleshliness and gain spirituality. This is done through self-abnegation. Universal Love is the divine way in Christian Science.
(Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, Mary Baker Eddy, pp. 265:23–19)
Great comments everyone. And thanks RobertH for a higher view.
“Radiance means glowing light, warmth, or a visible expression of great happiness and health.”
RADIANCE
Reflecting
Angels
Divine
Inspiration
Again, angelic
Newness
Christ
Entertained
in thought and
actions
A tree or anything, can only reflect what it is.
We are what we reflect outward
Am I, we, living the above definition
Melissa Baker
“Visible expression of great joy.”l
I loved seeing, health in the definition
Thank you Evan. You once reminded me that we all share One Mind and that thought has been so healing in dealing with family stress. One Mind One Family.
Dear Evan,
Thank you and many thanks to all who commented on this post. I am late coming to this particular SPIRITVIEW, but better late than never. As I pray my way through a difficult and sad experience with an adult son and his family, Mary Baker Eddy’s poem, “Mother’s Evening Prayer” has been my go to prayer, the third stanza especially:
“O make me glad for every scalding tear,
For hope deferred, ingratitude, disdain!
Wait, and love more for every hate, and fear
No ill,—since God is good, and loss is gain.”
(Christian Science Hymnal, No. 207:3)
I am learning to “wait, and love more for every hate, and to fear no ill – since God is good and loss is gain.” I have stopped fretting. Gradually the relationship is normalizing and love is winning.
wow this has been so helpful, I too have been led to the beautiful hymn Trust The Eternal by William McKenzie, and I’m trying to be childlike in my trust that God is the only parent, perfect and blameless
Another hymn which is so supportive is no.382 by Emily Seal, 2nd verse ” Thou art Truth’s honest child, Of pure and sinless heart; Thou treadest undefiled In Christly paths apart.”
I loved reading this conversation and especially your prayers about it Evan; it is all so helpful. All the wonderful comments have left me inspired, and confident that Love has the power to throw off the scum of false belief that claims to separate my adult child and me, and is right now healing our relationship. Thank you everyone.
Thank you Evan, I had just been asking God for insight about a current resentment and the angel thought, supported by your loving post, guided me to ask for my own forgiveness for cutting off both my parents ( all of us Christian Scientists). I truly wish I had had more a sense of God as a resource, and faith in the all power of Love. I am grateful to have resumed a strong and loving connection with my mother, and continuing understanding and healing concerning my father, who passed before a human reconciliation occurred. I trust God in the continuing journey of Love expressing. Thanks for bringing this topic forward, and I thank God for giving it to me today for my healing.