Life shouldn’t hurt

November 16, 2012 | 7 comments

I learned a significant rule for living without pain during a recent tennis lesson.
My racket-hand wrist was hurting when I hit the ball.
As my game has improved, I’ve played much better players, and the ball gets hit more powerfully in many matches. One of my new playing buddies had been hitting the ball super hard during our matches and I wasn’t coping too well with my returns. My wrist started to hurt after matches against him.
When I prayed for relief, the message came quite strongly, “You’re hitting the ball wrong with the racket.”
I told my coach about the wrist pain. He examined my grip and swing and said, “You’re swinging the racket wrong.” I was relieved to hear that, actually! It was a change I could make, and a confirmation of what I heard in prayer.
He showed me the adjustment to make.
We hit for an hour, and during our time together, whenever I held the racket properly there was absolutely no pain. If I slipped back into the old grip and swing, the pain was so acute I’d almost drop my racket to the floor.
I was fascinated with this experience during my tennis lesson.
The pain had been growing increasingly worse for a few weeks. Suddenly, in a moment, with a slight change in my grip, the pain was vanquished–just like turning a switch off. There was no recuperation. No drawn out period of recovery.
Many players, I’m sure, would have been taking pain-killers and medicine to suave the pain, and perhaps not even figuring out what the real cause of trouble was. I see it happen all the time.
As I rejoiced in the absence of pain, I formed a rule for future tennis play: “If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.”
On further consideration, I decided the rule applies to all of life’s experiences. “If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong!”
Oh, so true.
Examples are easy to list…
For instance, if one drowns in alcohol to forget about problems, only to discover the problems still exist and the life-pain is still there. That’s because, “You’re doing it wrong.”
If a husband keeps yelling at his wife expecting her to become friendly and cooperative, and she isn’t, and the marriage is still in hurt, that’s because “You’re doing it wrong!”
If a boss disparages and talks down his employees thinking some positive benefit is going to occur, only to discover the workplace is more demoralized than ever (in pain), that’s because he’s “doing it wrong.”
If one pumps his body full of medicine to relieve pain when the cause of pain is not physical, but mental, and only discovers the body is still in pain, that’s because he’s “doing it wrong.”
Anytime there’s a hurt, there’s a need for reformation. Something is wrong and it needs to be changed. It’s foolish to keep doing the same thing and expect a different result.
So, if something is hurting in your life right now, it’s time to “change your grip,” or “swing” in a different way. Prayer will reveal the needed reformation, and can bring instant freedom from the pain, just like I found with my tennis play.
The pain was never the issue. It was how I swung my racket that made the difference.

7 thoughts on “Life shouldn’t hurt”

  1. The use of medicine to heal a hurt is only a temporary fix. It’s used only in cases where the human doesn’t understand that pain is purely mental. It’s much like learning to swim. If one who is trying to learn is so fearful of the water, then that learner uses a rubber tube until the fear is educated out of one. The use of material things work the same way. But remember the use of material means should be used with the higher way in thought. That is the reliance of God when understood will forever make the use of material medicine or means OBSOLETE!

  2. My take-away is:

    “Life shouldn’t hurt.” If it does hurt, you are doing something wrong.

    And Albert Einstein “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results… is Insanity:.” I can change my grip on the Truth.

    This is helpful.

  3. My take-away is:

    “Life shouldn’t hurt.” If it does hurt, you are doing something wrong.

    And Albert Einstein “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results… is Insanity:.” I can change my grip on the Truth.

    This is helpful.

  4. Ok, let me see if I get this right. “Pain was never the issue.” So what was the “issue”? I believe it was the way you held the racket and hit the ball. It was a mechanical issue. And you didn’t treat it with two steps of first denying the reality of the wrist pain and then affirming the perfection of the wrist and hand. Instead, prayerful wisdom was given to change your behavior. Hold the racket differently. You found a need for “reformation” of your behavior. So, while the wrist pain was not the issue, yet the pain was the doorway to seeking personal change. A change in behavior so that healing could take place.

    Let’s see if I can apply that principle to a “pain” or symptom that is not necessarily mechanical in nature. One that is more chemical and biological in nature. The symptom of “it hurts to swallow,” “there is burning in the throat”. Upon consulting with a coach, (doctor), you learn that you have acid reflux which has caused erosion of the tissue in the throat. Now while a two-step treatment of denying the symptoms and affirming to be in perfect harmony and peace with heaven may offer some aid. I would hope that prayerful wisdom would suggest changes in behavior. You may be led to quit drinking black coffee on an empty stomach in the morning and abstaining from the cola drinks during the day. Probably changes in behavior with eating more alkaline foods like fruit and vegetables to balance the acidity and drink more water for a reduction in the acid reflux and all the symptoms that go along with that.

    While “pain” is not the issue, it was an important component in leading the change in behavior. Neither ignoring or denying the pain was the answer in either case. Otherwise we wouldn’t make important changes in our lifestyle for better health and a better tennis game.

    Pain itself is a sensation. A gross sensation at that. Before the pain, I would suggest that there were more subtle sensations being given by the mind/body phenomenon that could lead to behavior changes earlier on. Greater self awareness can help us make healthy changes. Awareness of these body sensations can give us “experiential wisdom” just by paying attention to what the body is experiencing. And let the Spirit teach us what changes to make. OK, I think I got now.

    Woody

  5. Hi Woody,

    I would add though, that the way I held the racket and hit the ball was all the effect of thought. Thought governs the whole body. If a person is really mad and hits the ball wildly, for example, there are consequences. But the consequences all incubated in thought. So, the wiser way to stay healthy is not to watch the body (by then it’s too late, so-to-speak), but to watch thought, to keep it in line with Christ. Then the outward actions will be correspondingly harmonious.

  6. Hi Evan

    “So, the wiser way to stay healthy is not to watch the body (by then it’s too late, so-to-speak), but to watch thought, to keep it in line with Christ. Then the outward actions will be correspondingly harmonious.”

    But isn’t that the human dilemma, even though we make daily effort to keep a “loving attitude and the Mind of Christ”, we find ourselves yet dealing with suffering. It is “too late” too often. We are always approaching but never arriving. We continue to suffer even with great daily effort in thought. There may be more that we can do beyond are daily thought watch and selfless efforts.

    If “watching thought” ONLY worked for us in practice, we would be without the question, which thought is causing my suffering? Oft times or most times we simply don’t know.

    Try as we must and do, we are still left with suffering beyond our best efforts.
    There is more going on here than “watch thought”.

    In your example, I don;t believe the thought was ever identified nor was it necessarily eliminated. What was changed was the grip.

    I don’t believe it is an “either or” (thought or body)choice that we do to “stay healthy”. We come to understand the entire mind/body phenomenon to be liberated from suffering.

    We watch our thoughts for a purified mind and eliminate defiled thoughts and emotions.

    And if sensations do arise, we also know how to deal with them as impermanent and unreal. And with a balanced mind, we do not react.

    We are not our thoughts nor our sensations. We are the observer. And this detached self awareness helps us observe them both simply become eradicated because they are impermanent and we do not allow them to multiply.

    Woody

  7. It occurs to me that a corrolary to “If it hurts, you are doing it wrong” is “If you are doing it right, it can’t hurt.”

    Examples of this might be serving church or taking time to pray for a community issue instead of using your time for some other activity that might seem more fun or personally appealing.

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