I was playing a men’s doubles tennis match with a partner who was assigned to me by the administrator of a league I was playing in. Our first set played together was a mini disaster. We lost 1-6.
From my point of view, he made a lot of mistakes! “How could he do that!” I would silently protest when he missed a ball that I thought was easy to get.
Of course, I made my share of mistakes too, but as the set proceeded, and I didn’t want to see a repeat of the first set in the second set, I prayed for a better insight that may contribute to a turnaround.
The first error I noticed was placing blame. I was blaming the loss on his large number of mistakes. “That’s not fair,” I knew. He was doing the best he knew, just like I was. From his point of view, he may be playing great. I needed to appreciate who he was for what he was. Instead of placing blame, I needed to focus on all the strengths he was demonstrating on court. And even more, I needed to praise those strengths!
I decided to replace blaming with praising.
I quickly made a mental list of his strengths. It was easy to do. He had many wonderful qualities and talents. And I started praising them. Mentally, and verbally.
The difference in outcome was monumental. We started winning games. We lost the second set 5-6, but it was a very competitive set and was fun to play. The other team congratulated us on our “turn around,” and my partner and I walked off court happy with our play together.
The moral lesson was clear. Spending your time placing blame and focusing on faults helps no one and hurts everyone. Spending your time looking for the good and praising it, overcomes faults and helps everyone.
Place praise rather than blame! Everyone is better off.
Thanks! Great guidance for this and everyday!
Thanks, Evan. This is so true and I think it is important for me to do this for myself and reverse an often self-critical stream of thought to a more loving one.
That’s a good point , peg . We can so easily let thought become demoralised by falling into the trap of “ personalising “ errors of our own ( seeming ) making .
Agreed Peg. Showing more love to ourselves is important. It feels good to praise our true spiritual qualities. It also reflects the love God has for us, and I think it’s easier to see the good in others if we also see our own good.
Wonderful “turn around” in thought and deed, leading to a great outcome. What excellent guidance that we can really learn from. Thank you, Evan.
A huge thank you, Evan! I just read your message, and it perfectly addresses the situation I’m facing at work. A client just sent me an unpleasant email. What should I do? My inner voice will be inclined to blame, but your message encourages me to be full of love and kindness. I’m going back to work in 15 minutes and will take the opportunity to send this client a fair and thoughtful email, offering concrete solutions.
What a joy it is to read your wonderful inspirations every day; they are a blessing for everyone. Thank you again, Evan. And thank you all for your wonderful sharing, your articles, and your reflections that show us how to move forward with love and kindness. Thank you all.
Such an important reminder! Thank you. ❣️
JUST GREAT!! Thank you, Evan!!
So thankful for this, gratitude is riches!
LOVE IS reflected in LOVE. (tennis pun intended. LOL) I don’t know much
(anything, really), about tennis, but do know that Love is a part of it. This was
demonstrated so beautifully in the inspiring message above. Thank You,
Evan and All.
Praise works. Not false praise which is error in all caps. It works in any kind of interaction and is very important with children and pets. Remember that old saying “if you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all.”. In Evan’s example God’s guidance for your thoughts is the best help with can get to help you. Thank you for the reminder this day!
Excellent Evan! Thank you. I’ve been doing exactly that for the last 48 hours as I pray for peace of mind about a neighbor who for years seems to provide ample reasons to do so. After reading “Love your enemies” in MBE’s Prose Works, and clinging to the truth of one Mind governing all, I praise my neighbor mentally and recount all the things I do appreciate about her. Very helpful.
Thank you Evan! I love this message. Instead of noticing every mistake others are making ,mentally criticizing and judging, we can focus on the good and praise it!! It reminds me of my grandsons tee- ball team. The coach praised every effort and patiently encouraged them as they practiced their skills at hitting , running and catching. They all blossomed and improved greatly under this gentle and loving coaching. It was a joy to behold!
Looking for the good will help us to follow Christ Jesus command to “ love our neighbor and to judge not!” It is something I am working on and I appreciate your lovely example.
Thanks Evan for sharing your tennis experience. I have been playing tennis at least 4 times a week with a group that I became unhappy with and had lots of complaints about; least of which I saw them as grumpy old men complaining about their aches and pains and always blaming me for losing the point. I am the only female with at least 4 men. (there re other women in the group, but i get paired up with the guys more often than not). I made up my mind to quit the group until I read an article in June 2026 CS Journal “God gave you dominion dont give it away” by Keb Bemis. I saw that every activity is spiritual and that my day was about seeing more of God. I focused less on tennis racquet and ball and personalities and more on “no error in Science” more on everything in its right place and no mistakes. And also about seeing Principle not person. The result was less friction and compliments from at least 2 of the men about my improved game and an overall friendlier game. I decided not to quit at that moment. In Science and Health we are told “one infinite God good unifies men and nation corrects whatever is wrong in social …codes, equalizes the sexes … ” I also came away with a great deal of gratitude for the friends I made over the years of playing tennis
Grateful for your contribution, “God GAVE YOU DOMINION DON’T GIVE IT AWAY!” Your one sentence, you’ve turned around alerted me to a pivotal observation about my son’s transgressions. Those few words uncover the whole lie about thoughts he’s had about his life.
THANK YOU FOR the TRUTH!
Chilesands, I am now claiming my dominion after listening to a co-worker lament over the very wayward actions of her son. It started out just funny little things, shake your head and laugh. But over time as he grew it got more serious. I didn’t realize how subtle, sneaky snake, it had been, but now it is the great red dragon. I see it clearly. NO!! No more wringing hands and commiserating, no matter how enticing that seems to be. I silently, humbly, sometimes vehemently, stand up for this child and his mother. I go to God to tell me who they are.
Thanks for sharing your story md. It’s very inspiring as to how you turned your situation around, I give you lots of credit. I know I would have been kicked out of that group for insubordination lol.
Here’s a link to the article:
https://journal.christianscience.com/shared/view/1adlbwmccbk?s=copylink
“I prayed for a better insight that may contribute to a turnaround.” It then delineates how we pray in Christian Science. A good example for me to share with non Christian Science friends.
Thank you,
Erica
Netherlands
Perfect timing for this incite and guidance. Thank you Evan!
Thank you Evan! Such a good reminder!
Criticism sneaks in so easily. This is a great reminder to be diligent and watch to be alert to sweep it away. God is all good and this goodness is reflected in God’s creation. Thank you for this important, timely reminder
Thank you for the daily inspiration.
I have recently started playing Pickleball. Never having played a racquet sport I am having so much fun learning this new skill. My harsh criticism is usually directed at myself (not my partners) and I find I am quite unkind to myself at times in thought. This is a great reminder to be kind to everyone (even me). And to remember that desire, talent and skill is bestowed of God and He will provide everyone a fulfilling & enjoyable time.
Thank you, Evan. I certainly need this reminder to look for the good.
Thankyou Evan, I sure have need of this today, instead of fault finding ,I’m going to find the good qualities in my neighbors and myself . S V is such a Blessing. everyday it meets our needs ,Thankyou
In all our praising of the good, I can also remember to praise the One who continually provides the good we see.
I had a thought this morning, while praying to see through some seeming dark thoughts, that I am like a radio that can only tune into and receive One station, WGOD.
Also read in an older SV where someone shared that a practitioner said to her about a certain challenge she was praying about, “You do not have a mind that can know this! God is your Mind.”
Good stuff. love to all.
Here’s a link to the article md mentioned in her comment.
God gave you dominion—don’t give it away!
By Keb Bemis
https://journal.christianscience.com/shared/view/1b0a5pnj0he?s=copylink
Oh Evan… your posts are always wonderful but this one is a really helpful one for me. I have a landlord/pal who I spend a lot of time working with around the property and I know I end up blaming him a lot more than I praise him, and just this evening as we were working on a rather complicated horse issue, I remembered your words and started praising what he had done, and it just changed everything. I’ll practice it more in the future! Thanks!
Am endless thankful for your healing SpiritView, dear Evan and for your awesome and loving testimony ♡
Thank you, wonderful article “God gave you Dominion – don’t give it away”, dear J and Robert! ♡ very helpful and needed!
Thank you Evan and all. We have opportunities every day to practice this. Thank you for keeping your light shining bright. In turn it helps up too.