If someone wrongs you, what is the quickest route to a better experience in your life? Is it to wrong them back seeking pleasure in revenge, or is it to humbly listen for a response that makes their wrong harmless to you and maybe helps them see that they never had to act that way in the first place?
A classic example of this is if someone falsely accuses you. A common carnal reaction is to accuse back and become part of an escalating heated argument as to who is right and who is wrong. It often ends miserably for both sides.
Rather than reacting in the same unkind way one is treated, the wise thinker will shut down the temptation to react in kind and listen for a response that upholds truth but also defuses the lie.
A healing goal is not to escalate tension and anger and lies, but to deescalate them into their native nothingness. To have truth and love have the final say.
The Apostle Paul reminds us, “Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable” (Romans 12:17, NLT).
In the face of wrongs coming at you, stay calm, understand what the truth is, stay clear on what is true, and respond accordingly. Don’t return evil with evil. Respond with truth and love. The effect is much better.
Thank you Evan. I remember like yesterday attending a Wednesday testimony meeting in the early 1980s and hearing the reader read this short sentence from S&H:
Revenge is inadmissible.
(Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, Mary Baker Eddy, p. 22:31–32)
That sentence has come to thought every time I’ve been tempted to indulge in revenge ever since. What blessings have come my way as a result of following that clear directive since that Wednesday night service.
Thank you so much for this post Evan ! I especially love when you say that we can “listen for a response that makes their wrong HARMLESS”. It is wonderful, to think that the wrong done or said can be made harmless through listening for an answer from our heavenly Father ! Thank you, thank you !
Thank you Evan for this post.
Just yesterday, I was accused of using inappropriate wording . (I work with young children), and the words were “shut up”) My boss called me into her office and asked me about this. My response was:
Those words have never been part of my vocabulary, I have never used them. That diffused the situation and right party was found and reprimanded.
I am reminded of Mrs. Eddy’s definition of Gethsemane in the Glossary
of Science and Health: “Patient woe; the human yielding to the divine;
love meeting no response, but still remaining love”. Sometimes someone
estranged from us seems far off in what we would like to be happening.
This may be going on for years, but we still have to love, Love, LOVE.
Even without a response, it is best for us to love them anyway, for, by
not loving, we are only really hurting ourselves.
This came recently from the Mary Baker Eddy Library:
Minnie A. Scott, a worker in Eddy’s household from 1906 to 1909, wrote in her reminiscence that Eddy instructed the workers in a prayer during a stressful time in 1907 when the “Next Friends” lawsuit was under way. (The suit which aimed to prove Eddy mentally incompetent and not in control of her business affairs was ultimately dismissed.) Scott remembered this:
“She [Eddy] called us all to her study and said, ‘We are never worse for persecution but better because we turn more unreservedly to God; now we all must lift our thought to God and pray like this — O divine Love, give me higher, holier, purer motives, self-abnegation, inspiration, and spiritual love.'”
What a wonderful Leader and example for us!
Thank you for these weekday vlogs as this and also for your YouTube short!
What so helpful thoughts! Thank you
“FORGIVE and move FORWARD By Janet Clements. From the November 15, 2004 issue of The Christian Science Sentinel:
https://sentinel.christianscience.com/shared/view/1wmntgz6d5s?s=copylink
I just realized I’ve posted this article before. Sorry for the redundancy, but if you haven’t read it or missed it, it’s new to you. 🙂
I deal with a family member with anger issues who can be verbally abusive. It dawned on me that it’s not so much feelings of revenge, but feelings of victimization and resentment. I especially liked: “Rather than reacting in the same unkind way one is treated, the wise thinker will shut down the temptation to react in kind and listen for a response that upholds truth but also defuses the lie.” This statement reminds me of the hymn by Mary Baker Eddy, “Christ My Refuge” And o’er earth’s troubled, angry sea I see Christ walk, And come to me, and tenderly, Divinely talk.
I was told once by a Christian Science Practitioner that all we ever need to know about REACTION, or the temptation to REACT, is found in Science & Health, on page 500. That was a surprise, & a lesson never forgotten!
So needed this am. Thank you
Our housekeeper has very poor “on time “ habits which makes today is especially challenging.The continual excuses are very see through lies. This reminder is very appreciated.
“ I will listen for Thy voice “.