Don’t feel guilty for saying no

November 24, 2006 | 2 comments

Three days ago, I had a friend who is moving out of town, call and ask if I wanted any of the multitudes of religious and spiritual books she needed to get rid of. She didn’t want to throw them away, and wondered if I could take them off her hands.

I’ve had people make these requests before, and often I’ve obliged them, figuring somebody might want the books and I’d be happy to pass them along, and I wanted to be helpful anyway. But honestly, I have many books already sitting in my backroom, unused, and I didn’t need to add anymore! I needed to “clean house” myself!

In my efforts to be helpful, though, I have found it hard in the past to turn away people who are trying to be generous.

And what happens? I end up with someone else’s junk…and thus the stacks of old books in my backroom!

But this time, I got a new view. I realized that if I accepted the volumes under the pretense that I could make good use of them, when I could not, I was being dishonest. I was being dishonest to myself and to the giver, and this was evil no matter how you look at it.

Aw…huge relief.

I did not have to accept the books. I did not have to let her feeling of burden become a burden for me. And I didn’t have to pretend like I was passing on a great opportunity. I could politely thank her for thinking about me, turn down the offer, and trust she would find a place for the books, or simply chuck them in the garbage and proceed with her move.

And that’s what I did.

In response, she thought a bit more, and realized she could donate the books to the local library annual book sale.

Perfect! I thought. No imposition on anyone there.

It’s such a little revelation, but not feeling guilty about saying no to unwanted stuff was a minor breakthrough for me. The rule applies to mental junk mortal mind wants to load onto our thinking too. We need to say No! when we don’t want it. It works, and it’s the honest way to live.

“Be honest, be true to thyself, and true to others; then it follows thou wilt be strong in God, the eternal good.” Mary Baker Eddy, Rudimental Divine Science, p. 8.

 

2 thoughts on “Don’t feel guilty for saying no”

  1. Wow, how many times have I done the same thing. It’s true, saying no when you honestly don’t want or need things is the right thing to do. And the reward of instant relief is an extra bonus.

    The other part of saying no to mortal mind’s junk is something that I had to do just this morning. I fancied myself slighted by someone and mortal mind was really happy to make a big deal out of it. But I caught it and ended it quickly. No slight was really intended anyway and only selfishness or self importance would make it so. Those are not qualities of mind that I wish to express.

    Thanks, Evan for this insightful lesson.

  2. Evan:

    Nice concept of truthfulness. I experienced keeping materials and books when I retired from both of my professions. I found it difficult because so much of what I had collected.

    I found this article rewarding and knew God would provide me with my needs in the future. I junked it.

    I am now facing the notion of maintaining memberships in two prrofessional organizations. I am struggling with this, knowning that, I will not reactivate either of these careers. Perhaps, these monies should be directed to a form of Gods work.

    I believe this article will direct me in doing the right thing.

    Thank You

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