Be a lover, not an arguer

March 21, 2018 | 20 comments

Some people feel compelled to argue over everything they get involved with, as if they must fight for gain in every part of their life. But it’s not necessary.

All the good we could ever hope to have comes directly from God. Supply, employment, harmony in the home, healthy relationships in the family, community and workplace, all are the effect of God, divine Love, working in our lives, ensuring our needs are fully met, and us expressing God’s presence in return.

We don’t have to fight for blessings from God. We don’t have to argue with another person to be blessed. God is happy to give us all good as fast as we’re ready to receive it.

If you’re tempted to raise your voice and argue with someone, you can shut the inner tension down, and listen for the voice of wisdom within that can help you figure out how to work with that person without getting into a fight. Rely upon Love’s wisdom and tender touch to share your ideas and intelligently converse on the subject at hand.

Be patient. Be kind. Listen. Be open minded. Know that words of Love are far more persuasive than ire and anger, and that they make a far better impression.

Be a lover, not an arguer. Everyone around you, including yourself, will be far happier, and you’ll accomplish far more in working with them.

God is Love and works through Love. You can too.

20 thoughts on “Be a lover, not an arguer”

  1. Thanks Evan for your wise words! It’s a beautiful “first day of Spring” here in my part of the UK! A perfect day to be a lover, not an arguer. Have a great day, everyone!

  2. I was just wondering how to deal with a situation without hurting someone’s feelings, when this lovely SpiritView popped up – thank you, Evan.

    It’s a lovely spring day in my part of the UK too, Dilys !

  3. Yes, thank you Evan, for lots words of love and wisdom.

    Last Monday when I had reading room service in my church, I had a visitor who just wanted to know something about our religion. He said he is surching all religions in Hamburg. But his views of the matter were very strange. Therefore I listened to God what answers I should give. First I listened very friendly, then I could tell him about our two “pastors” the Bible and Science and Health, and at last I showed him our church. He was quite impressed. And at last he took an information leaflet “what is Christian Science” and left friendly.

    I was really grateful that I remained calm and friendly and he could remember only a nice talk.
    That s really good, to be a lover and not an arguer (sometimes I tend to be an arguer and am working to do better). How good that we as expression of God, Love, can in reallity only reflect this healing Love – thank you Evan! 🙂

    1. Thanks for sharing that Uta. You were obviously listening to God and God was working through you to help that man on his journey of discovery. I too am working to be a lover and not an arguer. So cool that we are all progressing on our spiritual journey and can support each other.

      1. Yes, thank you Trista, also for your inspired comment!

        Some hours ago I had another experience with a member of my church. She said to me, I am complicated and regrettably I said the same to her. But in the same moment I knew that I just have to listen to her and be kind without anymore argueing. By the end of this talk I was kind to her. Mrs. Eddy says in SH: mortal self gives us a lot to do in order to demonstrate the nothingness of mortal self. She did not say it exactly so, but I think the meaning is correct.

  4. Thanks Evan for the lovely inspiration. “All good comes directly from God, not any human source, so why not keep calm instead of arguing or raising our voice.”

    God provides all that we need in His time. I remember having read a beautiful poem entitled “In my Fathers time”. I do not remember the exact words but its mentioned that we need not get disheartened, annoyed or enter into arguments .. since all that we need will certainly come to us…but not when we ask, but when the time is right and that right time is our Father’s time.

    Working out anything with love will always have a good result. Since God is Love, God is very much with those who love and win over any difficulty or challenge harmoniously, lovingly. “God is Love and he that loves, dwells in God and God in him.”

  5. Thank you for the reminder Evan. It is always good to be on the lookout for this behavior and eliminate it out of our thinking.

    “To mentally argue in a manner that can disastrously affect the happiness of a fellow-being — harm him morally, physically, or spiritually — breaks the Golden Rule and subverts the scientific laws of being.”
    Mis. 31:3-7

  6. I am so grateful for today’s post. I am having some strong suggestions of challenge at work both with co-workers and the young people we serve. Sometimes things seem out of control and in constant change. I am deeply considering “Divine Love being at work in my life.” What magnitude of goodness, Love, dominion, authority, peace, joy!! Surely with Divine Love working in my life and everyone elses, I can express Father-Mother God in return. Thank you God and thank you Evan for expressing the divine inspiration that comes to you. We are all blessed by it.

  7. This topic really hit home with me. I was raised in an atmosphere of constant discord. I had just walked out of the house on several occasions not willing to get involved. As a result, I was so unable to even be within ear shot of an argument that I would get off a bus and catch the next one if someone was arguing. It took considerable effort and prayer to change my perspective from annoyance to love and to know that God was ever present right there where discord appeared to be. Harmony is always the only reality. How grateful I am to God for Christian Science which reveals to us only what is really true.

  8. Thank you Evan for another inspiring blog.

    This quote I have on the side of my computer. “Have the maturity to sometimes know that silence is more powerful than having the last word.” Thelma Davis

    For me this silence is with love. Pending arguments or misunderstanding fall by the wayside. Harmony is the fact always………


  9. The first thought that came from the title of today message made me smile! It reminded me of Doris Day as she sang everybody love a lover .im a lover that’s why everybody loves me! I’ll be singing those lyrics all “DAY ” long! Love reflects Love.

  10. Thank you Evan and all. I just read this statement from someone (a CS)..”Human harmony is cleaning a bottle, whereas divine harmony is filling it with the inspiration of good.” I liked that.

  11. Thanks Evans, about the same time as you published these inspiring thoughts, I heard same ideas in my mind too, wow simultaneously blessed to carry out some task I was designated. Yes, I was reminded that it is Love that designates everything and we are always reflecting “Love’s work Love must fit” and all we can ever experience is Love’s perfection and it’s tender caring nature and harmony in relationships in substance and essence in everyway we see and feel it. Yes the human mind accomplishes the success we need on every occasion.

  12. Im printing this out bc I have a meeting tomorrow which I anticipate might be heated. I am going to really strive to heed this wisdom before going in!!!

  13. Honestly we learn so much from all the sharing on “Spirit View”. Its a big blessing indeed and all gratitude goes to Evan for his lovely Blog.

    Thanks so much Syl for sharing this lovely quote “Have the maturity to sometimes know that silence is more powerful than having the last word.” Thelma Davis
    Its such a lovely thought that one shows so much maturity by silence which can be more powerful than having the last word. Beautiful..Thanks again Syl for this sharing.

    Thanks Kathy for this lovely quote ”Human harmony is cleaning a bottle, whereas divine harmony is filling it with the inspiration of good.” VOW Kathy that’s great. You surely fill us with lots of inspiration with your lovely Cedars Letters. God bless, deeply grateful for everything that you share.

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