Married to the perfect idea

March 28, 2023 | 24 comments

If you ever have trouble getting along with a spouse, it can help to see beyond any picture of mortal imperfection before you, to the man and woman of God’s creating.

In seeking a perspective that heals, Mary Baker Eddy wrote, “Jesus beheld in Science the perfect man, who appeared to him where sinning mortal man appears to mortals” (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, pp. 476:32–2).

The words “Jesus beheld in Science…” refers to reasoning out from spiritual reality. The “perfect man” refers to the “male and female” of God’s creating as recorded in the first chapter of Genesis.

In spiritual reality, the man and woman of God’s creating are perfect. They are spiritual, full of love, understanding, patience, compassion and forgiveness.

Marriage is an opportunity to learn more about God’s perfect idea and practice living it with someone we care about.

When trouble brews in the home, rather than let evil take over, stop and pray to remember who you’re married to. In Truth, you’re not committed to an angry, stubborn, close-minded mortal. You’re married to the perfect idea of God’s creating.

The perfect idea of God’s creating is understanding, thoughtful, considerate, patient, kind, unselfish, and forgiving. A flourishing marriage witnesses these qualities of Love flowing back and forth between spouses.

The perfect idea is the perfect spouse, the perfect man or perfect woman, to be married to. When you look for it, you’re more likely to find it!

24 thoughts on “Married to the perfect idea”

  1. Thank you Evan!
    “Marriage is an opportunity to learn more about God’s perfect idea and practice living it with someone we care about.”
    How wonderful to have this affirmed by you. Marriage is indeed a glorious and ongoing work in practice.
    A favourite citation from Mrs Eddy’s work is,
    “From Love and from the light and harmony which are the abode of Spirit, only reflections of good can come”
    I have found, that payerful realisation, brings light to every “human” situation ♡

  2. So grateful to you, Evan. The next time I am humbly attempting to love my “grouchy and weary”
    78 yr old husband, I will remember that he is God’s perfect man, God’s perfect husband.. And I am God’s perfect wife. What a difference thought makes.

    1. Nadine I agree that marriage can seem to be a “puzzling institution.” That phrase gave me a chuckle. I’ve lately added to my prayers a thought that came to me, “God help us (my husband and I) see each other as you see us, and help us see ourselves as you see us. And help us see all situations as you see them.” This is a humbling attitude and excludes much of the material views and self-will that seem to creep into relationships.

      I still have much to learn in this area but open to receiving fresh views. Evan thanks for introducing this important topic. Great day to all!

      1. Rose, I love your thoughts of including both marriage partners in your prayers. Thank you for sharing this.

  3. I have literally applied the statement ‘Come hither! Arise from your false consciousness into the true sense of Love, and behold the Lamb’s wife,—Love wedded to its own spiritual idea.’ Then cometh the marriage feast, for this revelation will destroy forever the physical plagues imposed by material sense” (p. 575). to a family situation and witnessed a beautiful healing take place very quickly. And …
    “May mercy and truth go before you: may the lamp of your life continually be full of oil, and you be wedded to the spiritual idea, Christ;…” Mis 151
    Divine Love is never separated from its manifestation.

  4. I love to think of man in the same light Mrs. Eddy describes the lesson sermon” Undivorced from Truth”.
    Mortality will have its ups and downs but spiritual reality is always on track and complete..
    So marriage doesn’t make us complete.. We are each complete children of God and in marriage we can share that completeness.. There is no inadequacy, no lack, or disruptive behavior.

  5. Practitioner recently pointed out to me that the marriage problems that seem to be caused by the OTHER person need to be addressed in your own thought by understanding truly who YOU are…We cannot change another person (believe me I’ve tried! 😀 ) but when we change WHAT we look at, what we LOOK AT changes. So, seeing ourselves clearly also changes the way we see that other one. “Know thy true self” ..and your true self will know the other self! Been trying this and it really does work but you have to be consistent !
    It can seem impossible to see the other person clearly sometimes especially if the situation has been building for some years, but to work on yourSELF seems a lot easier and actually more constructive. So the practitioner suggested (and I did) I make a list of all MY OWN Godlike , good, positive qualities. This turns the focus around ..very interesting excercise!

    1. I like, Diane, where you mention working on “yourself”, that is myself, and reflect
      “Godlike, good, positive qualities”.
      I had found the most important thing is to want the other person to be happy.
      “Not my will, Thine be done.”
      Forgiveness was a big one, also, especially when there had seemed to be
      reasons not to, but as we are all children of God’s Love, as the years have
      gone by, selflessness becomes more meaningful.

  6. I always liked this in S&H in the chapter on Marriage “Husbands and wives should never seperate if there is no Christian demand for it. It is better to await the logic of events than for a wife precipitately to leave her husband or for a husband to leave his wife. If one is better than the other, as must be always be the case, the other pre-eminently needs good company.”
    The last line always majes me chuckle and helps me to put things into prespective.

  7. Plato: “What thou seest, that thou beest.” (From Mary Baker Eddy’s article on Christian Healing in Prose Works, pg.8) This is hard to swallow, but divine Science takes us all the way to the truth of what we are mistakenly seeing of others through the lens of mortal belief, (not OUR belief, tho, as we are God’s ideas, not mortal-believers!). When I gain the humility to correct mortal belief (again not MY belief, for I am God’s idea, as are we all), I glimpse more of who my spouse truly is, and, guess what? he “improves!!” (What a GREAT Science this is!)

  8. Today’s lesson applies even to those of us not married… because we learn in Science that we are complete, whole, holy, as pronounced in the spiritual, original creation. I have been married, had to learn every lesson related above, and I still hold these truths now, after my husband is no longer with me, nor living. We most certainly, truly, get to learn ALL about Love within this “peculiar human institution” called marriage!!

    And, as is true every day, I’m so very grateful to Evan and each SpiritViewer who helps me along the pathway to understanding better who we really are; to see & love as we are instructed by our Master and Mary Baker Eddy. ❤️

    1. Wow……this article is jam-packed with helpful ways to direct our thinking. Especially how to not be afraid of losing a relationship. All the good in all our beloved relationships is from God and will not be lost. ALL of it. I also liked the point of not giving in to dark feelings–which are only the lie insisting that something material gives and takes happiness. We get happiness from something that has life and love. So it wasn’t matter that was giving us happiness–it was Spirit all along and that never leaves us. Thanks for posting this J.

  9. I am truly blessed to have been married to the perfect man of God’s creation for 70 years! Through the lens of Christian Science I learned very early that together we reflect Gods completeness and strength, striving through loving kindness and wisdom, strength thru forgiveness of myself and others has allowed love to flourish and embrace all mankind as well as ourselves. Seventy years of marriage this summer proves to me that communion with God is the light to follow, I am so grateful that our Savior, Christ Jesus, taught us true Love, and our commitment to God is the Way, Thank you Evan for this beautiful site to visit!

    1. Ellen you and your husband are an inspiration! It has taken me many years to begin to see my husband (and myself) in that True light as God’s man (and woman). Sometimes it takes longer for Truth to dawn in our consciousness and mortal ideas to fall away.. Your example shows all of us what is possible. Wishing you much continued joy.

  10. What lovely thoughts provoked here today .
    Gratitude and humility are what supports me through relationship difficulties. That is , not just for my life experiences but also for all those whose life experience includes me…in other words family, close and extended.
    But, this leads me to being so grateful for the demonstrable knowledge of Christian Science , lifting consciousness away from conflict …and turning towards the certainty of Gods abundant loving care for me and mine as part of His family of Man.❣️

  11. Thank you Evan. Marriage. What a Soul searching institution. Thanks to all who have shared beautiful ideas that will continue to solidify our marriages. God is at the centre of every marriage. God brought us together in our own marrige. We both turn silently to God for the way forward. This brings great joy every time we do so. The joy of marriage comes from God.

  12. I struggled with lots of inconsiderate, thoughtless acts by my husband that I would have to clean up after until the inspiration of “thy Maker is thy husband’ from the Bible came to me. The resolution of annoyances and cleaning up after another (yes these situations were communicated many times with patience and perseverance) evolved as I did all this “for my Lord” (the Christ) and my Heavenly Father /Mother. All resentment and hurt melted away, and I find joy in my work around the house once again.

  13. Thank you Evan! And when I read Lori`s comment the Bible verse springs out to me: “Thy Maker is thy husband”. This is valid to everybody, however I take it specially very valid for the non-married as I am. Some people laugh a bit if I would say, I am married to God. But I know a practitioner of whom is said that she always meant that her son need not to marry because he is married to God. And he indeed never married. In the spiritual sense this is true for all God`s children as the verse from the Bible here says it. And for me it is comforting as that also says that I am never alone; and yes we learn that the real spiritual man is at one with God! And the Bible also says in that sense, that in heaven they will neither marry nor be married.

    Thank you all for your enlightening comments!

  14. thanks to all who have shared really helpful ideas on this wonderful and challenging institution. As one whose marriage ended in separation and now navigating divorce I had allowed feelings of sadness disappointment and failure into my mental home and believed some could be shut outside an inspired sense of marriage. Today’s blog and the many wonderful comments have helped me see that everyone is wedded to the lamb and able to demonstrate this in fresh new ways daily in all their relationships.

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