Respond rather than react

November 9, 2018 | 39 comments

A rule for maintaining harmony and peace in your life is to abstain from reacting in kind to evil, but to respond with love and understanding.

If a family member blows up in your face with anger, for instance, you can resist any temptation to react to that anger. It’s possible to stay calm, love them as a child of God, listen for a wise reply that defuses that anger, and respond in a way that resolves the conflict.

If you run out of money to pay the bills, you can decide to not react with panic, but to stay calm, to know that God has abundant supply for you to demonstrate, and then listen to the voice of wisdom that will tell you how to demonstrate provision.

If you start to feel ill, you can choose to not react with fear, but to stay calm and remember that your health is a fixed state of Spirit that is never lost. You can seek out spiritual truth to counter that illness, and respond with a prayer that brings healing.

To respond, rather than react, is to act thoughtfully, and with care and consideration for what is spiritually best for the situation you face.

To react, rather than respond in times of adversity, is often to be used by evil and to become a pawn to it, rather than conquering it with intelligent inspired action.

“Man is the expression of God’s being,” Mary Baker Eddy wrote in Science and Health (p. 470). God’s being is one of love, dominion, authority, poise, grace, truth and intelligent action.

As you live true to expressing God’s presence in everything you do, you’ll find yourself responding more often and reacting less. Rather than contributing to a problem and building it up with more fear and tension, you’ll disarm the error of the moment, render it harmless, and contribute to healing that problem.

Be a responder, not a reactor!

39 thoughts on “Respond rather than react”

  1. Thanks Evan. Lovely post. Its better to be a reponder than a reactor. But this requires daily prayers, discipline and a love for learning more about God and His perfect creation.

    When we attune our thoughts with God, we are always guided to take the right steps, in fact God leads the way.

    I as a child was short tempered and would instantly react, in fact when my elder brother told me…”Nergish one day we all have to die” I was so fearful and instantly wept bitterly. But when Christian Science came into my life, it worked wonders for me. I learnt about God as my life .. eternal, perfect and harmonious. I understood my relationship with God as His dearly beloved child. As my knowledge about God grew more and more, I became more disciplined, patient, loving, wise, understanding. Cause I understood that we are God’s children, and are the very reflection of His being, reflecting all His good qualities.

    Since we are calm, loving, good, wise, Godlike with a loving divine father who is always by our side to support and strengthen us, it becomes very natural to always respond with love in any situation. Even the slightest temptation to react just flees.

    The key to always respond with love and not to react, is with us, if we are watchful and vigilant, kind and forgiving, and by gaining an affection for good by constantly staying with our prayers and remaining close to God.

    1. Thank you Nergish for your wonderful thoughts. I look forward to your comments each day. You have a very nice way of expressing your ideas. Thank you.

    2. Thank you, Nergish, for sharing that. And Thank you, Evan. Just what I needed to hear today too, as there is another big fire in Cal, thick smoke all around.

  2. Once again, Evan, your message is just what I need. I am sometimes ruffled or hurt by the words or actions of a family member, and often respond in kind – instead of with kindness. Though I usually gain my normal equilibrium quite soon, and all is well again. Next time I shall stay with harmony and love.

    Nergish, you too always have lovely thoughts to share, as Barbara says. I so appreciate the offerings of all who join in these conversations.

      1. Hi Linda,

        I cannot open the whole article, as the Journal is the only magazine I havn`t jet subscribed.
        Could anybody else open it fully that we can read it, please? Would be grateful! 🙂

  3. I love this! And the practical examples of how to use this in everyday life is so helpful.

    Nergish, your story is so inspiring! How wonderful that you found Christian Science and that it found you, just when you needed it!

    1. Lindsey, loved your article, The action of divine Love. I’ve shared it with several friends and they have been so appreciative. Beautiful unfoldment in my life have resulted from that. Evan supports these ideas today.

  4. Easier said than done! Especially when driving! Yesterday I was trying to turn and a pedestrian crossed against a red light. The window was open and I screamed at him before I even knew it!
    I must work on “binding the strong man”(Mark 3:27) who seems so ready to react

  5. Many years ago I heard a response that I have NEVER forgotten. My cousins young son was very angry at his dad. He was yelling that he hated him and some other threats disavowing him as his dad. His father stood quiet with no response while this angry outburst continued. Then he said very softly, “ Alex, I will ALWAYS love you!.” His young son stopped in his tracks, was very quiet for a moment then continued with his activities as if nothing had happened. Oh, the power of Love… Just amazing. Don’t you suppose that is what Heavenly Father says to us when we mess up and are angry? “Nothing has changed here. I will ALWAYS Love you.”

  6. One day, I asked a dear friend how she could handle the unkind words coming from family member that were aimed at her. She told me that she was just ‘not impressed ‘by them. This has been a huge help to me in controlling my reactions (which ,by the way,) are becoming more infrequent all the time. I am very grateful for all the lessons
    I am learning in my CHristian Science studies.

  7. What a fantastically helpful thought to respond, not react. If God is all-acting, there can’t be negative reacting. We respond and reflect God instead. Last month I was visiting a family member for the first time in their home after a marriage and a new baby. They asked me a question about a divisive issue in the news. The family member and I have always been able to discuss current events calmly, but I wasn’t sure about their spouse who was in the room also. So, the questions came steadily – didn’t I think the President should do such and such? I almost said: are you sure you want to discuss politics/current events now as they were bathing their newborn? I was evasive on some answers. Finally I ventured one calmly said concern about the issue which wasn’t evasive, figuring we could change the subject if they disagreed strongly. Wham – the door to the bath was shut in my face by the spouse. I was aghast – and then remembered Mrs. Eddy’s question: why stand aghast at nothingness? This was a big nothing – it hadn’t happened in spiritual reality. I thanked God for Christian Science which enabled me to see this, and not cause a huge disruption in the relationship and visit. By not reacting, the situation didn’t escalate. I sent them some helpful items for the baby’s bath later, and they were effusive in their thanks. Our example makes morals for mankind Mrs. Eddy said. Now I’m facing an equally hurtful family situation, and realized I’ve been reacting in my thought. This post by Evan reminds it needs to be responded to spiritually, too. Thanks for this timely reminder!

  8. This has been/is a most inspiring exchange! Such great examples substantiating the point. Thank you all so much for sharing.

  9. Yes, thank you ALL! So helpful and needed!!! Praying about fires . Cannot react with fear…but with calm trust ..responding with heavenly inspiration.

  10. Wonderful comments today! I just learned something helpful at my recent Association meeting that may also be apropos. We all know the Golden Rule, now I’ve found out about the Diamond Rule, it’s to“Think about others as, as we would like others to think about us”. That’s very helpful to me as I need to clearly and diligently think about others daily.

  11. I am so grateful for each and every comment, and especially to Linda for the link to a very helpful article. And, thanks to you, Evan, for creating SpiritView giving us a venue for sharing inspirations and your thoughts which are like a Christian Science treatment.

  12. In praying about fire or any kind of storm, I like to think of Hymn 148, “In heavenly Love abiding . . . the storm may roar without me.” To me this means that since “this Me is Spirit,” and there is no storm in infinite Spirit, in “the consciousness of Love,” “to infinite, ever-present Love,” in the Mind that is Good, therefore in divine reality, there is no storm, no fire, no hate, no fear, no inharmonious action, nor reaction. Only infinite Love and its infinite manifestation. Much love and thanks to all!

  13. “It is our pride that makes another’s criticism rankle, our self-will that makes another’s deed offensive, our egotism that feels hurt by another’s elf-assertion. Well may we feel wounded by our own faults; but we can hardly afford to be miserable for the faults of others.” (Miscellaneous Writings 224:2-6)

  14. Thank you Evan for all your healing SpiritViews, so also for today`s one.

    What a richness of inspired, inspiring and helpful comments, the outpouring
    of Love! Thank you all so much for it!

    Thank you Evan for your loving contribution at facebook you shared there, ” to listen to God`s guidance, He knows what is the best for us, His loved children.” So true.

    Today I had an experience. I bumped against a car behind me resulting only in a little scratch. For this little scratch the driver wanted me to give him my car insurance company for regulation of this matter. Regrettably I reacted negatively, why he makes such a fass about this small scratch and then the driver of that car also reacted. But then an inner voice told me to just respond kindly and offer him friendly a sum of money and I also appologized for having been not so friendly. He accepted the money and wished me a nice day, and I did the same. So we parted friendly. I felt very much, that this inner voice to respond friendly was God`s loving guidance; and at home I thanked God for His tender protection for us both, the driver and me! Evan, I read your today`s so helpful SpiritView only after this experience, thank you for it, and I am so grateful that the Christ, Truth was present helping us.

    I feel so well within this lovely commenter family – thank you all very much! 🙂

  15. Thank You Evans for bringing this topic up for discussion. In facing difficult situations, I found the “diamond rule” truly protects me when I declare silently I am inseparable from God’s Love and that other is also inseparable from God’s Love. I saw through this lie that there can be another carnal mind putting us into warring situations. That really helps “douse the rage and fire”. Then there was few occassion I was literally caught in between angry arguments of fellow workmates, I was told in humiliation manner to look into their eyes when spoken to, I did not even have time to pray but all I could think is Oh God and then all these angry voices went silent. Later I gave myself treatment from feeling personal sense of emotional hurt from such incidents. Oh boy, tough training I am grateful to stay out of.

  16. Exactly what I needed after overreacting yesterday. Also remembering the Diamond Rule – which is what I have been doing ever since then. All is well. Today I was guided to remember that we are the immediate idea of Mind – without intervention of time, space, or more than one mind. The corrective thoughts coming in my prayers over the situation formed the healing element which was needed and immediate. Thank you for all the loving shares.

  17. Thank you so much Evan, for raising this sometímes difficult subject
    I have found my greatest challenge is to forgive myself for hurtful and sinful thoughts and actions in the past, often against those no longer with us, so no longer able to ask forgiveness.
    I have found that most Christian Science articles and comments deal with forgiving others their sins, rather than dealing with our own! However, the article was helpful in this respect – thank you Linda, and again, Evan

  18. Thank you for posting this blog Evan. I have noticed that I tend to push back with the same strength I think someone is pushing me for instance, a mean attitude towards me or an angry or frustrated request or response to me. Then thinking the other person will see how silly they are acting by me responding in kind almost never works. Instead it only escalates the situation. Thank you Evan you have crystallized for me the right response I must have from now on.

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