When others complain to you about their ills

September 22, 2020 | 26 comments

When others complain to you about their health problems, see your time with them as an opportunity to bless them with healing inspiration!

When people complain, they’re often implicitly saying, “I feel stuck in a dark place, and I’m looking for a way out.” You can help them find their way out!

The need is not for agreement with their suffering and further in-depth conversation about their ailments. The need is for spiritual insight that leads their thought out of suffering to a better place.

Your inspired point of view can be the light that helps them see their way out!

Don’t be afraid to share simple healing insights that perk their attention and get them thinking in a more positive frame of mind. A simple truth, spoken with love and care, can work wonders.

It does not serve us, or them, to be a sponge for the complaining mortal mind. It does serve us and them, to be a light that dissolves the suffering sense and illuminates it with healing insight.

Be brave. Be courageous. Stand up to error and correct it with truth! You and your acquaintance will be blessed.

“Millions of unprejudiced minds — simple seekers for Truth, weary wanderers, athirst in the desert — are waiting and watching for rest and drink. Give them a cup of cold water in Christ’s name, and never fear the consequences.”
(Mary Baker Eddy, Science and Health, p. 570.)

26 thoughts on “When others complain to you about their ills”

  1. This, for me is one of the hardest things to overcome. I was brought up with Christian Science teaching prominent in the home via my Mother. However, once married I ‘dipped my toe ‘ only occasionally. I always subscribed to the Journal but study became a very private thing. We have a large family and have always gone down the medical route. Therefore, everyone expects this in-depth material chat you refer to today Evan.
    I am very fortunate to have a supportive husband and about a year ago I made a stand for Truth and what freedom! With family I just say I rely on prayer and no one scoffs at me anymore. However it is hard to know the right solution with friends and acquaintances.Maybe just observing my health and happiness is example enough? Not sure. Still lots of learning to do to on this front. I’ve always maintained that we gain our confidence from expressing and entertaining Love. So here’s to another Love filled day for everyone❣️

  2. This is indeed difficult. I did bring my friend, who always seems to be going from one ailment to another, to a Christian Science lecture, in fact one that you gave, Evan. Her husband seems to have understood the lecture, but it is only recently that the wife, with whom I take frequent walks around the neighborhood, and who is a very loving, unselfish person, didn’t seem to get it. The lecture took place several years ago. I have noticed recently that this medical talk has greatly diminished. I think I need to voice my objection in some way, but most importantly take a strong mental stand when this occurs. My friend is like the defendant who committed liver-complaint in the act of helping others. My treatment should be–“NOT GUILTY!” Thanks for the reminder.

  3. This has been a seemingly endless problem for me with my husband’s family (all ex nurses) who feel it is rude not to enquire about the illnesses and allergies they asssume you must have because after all..”its normal to be allegric or ill” (!!!??) I have had to find several ways around this over the last 20 years. 1) I try to get out of seeing them or I do not say a single word when they discuss all of their medical stuff and keep excusing myself for many reasons. After a while this gets awkward ass illness is their only conversation subject so in the end, they feel uncomfortable discussing things I simply do not join in with and refuse to add to.
    2) a few times though prior to going out for the family get together I prayed to see them as not being given the ability to see, hear or react to anything but an awareness of good. I acknowledge that God is their mind and that matter cannot see hear think or create illness. I try to focus on their Godlike qualities and also remember MBE’s statement that “error is neither person , place nor thing’ and this has worked! We ended up having a very pleasant afternoon, however I cannot bring up anything about healing or God as one of them sees God as something like an adults version of a child’s “invisible friend”! Mind you , when she said this I said I was very glad I had that invisible friend because it would be awkward if He/She was visible!

    1. I love your sharing, Diane. Keep up the good work! What a creative reply that you are grateful that our loving Creator IS invisible! I’m so very grateful that I’m rarely in a space where people complain about their illnesses. My good friends who are not CS’s have all been to several CS lectures w me and really appreciate the insights they receive. One of my best friends who is Jewish said in her next life she wants to be a CS’t. She wrote a play called “Faustine” and MB Eddy was one of the 3 main characters. She was so free in her introduction at a large, packed theatre to share how Eddy is one of the most remarkable yet unknown American women. When I am in a situation where there’s talk of disease, I quietly pray to feel God’s allness. We can pray “What would You have me say, Lord?”

  4. Thank you Evan for this. I think on a day to day basis this is a very practical way of dealing with mortal mind which loves to hear itself and spread it’s lies about reality. Those who know me know I am always there to help, but it will be from a Christian Science perspective, not from what mortal mind attempts to dictate. If we find ourselves with an opportunity to love a child of God then it needs to be seized. There is always a receptive mind searching! Thanks everyone for sharing. We are all so blessed.

  5. I see these challenges to how I choose healing to ebb and flow with my family. After all, I am still learning to lean on God for all. As I get older, those around me watch for signs I have an illness but in a caring way. Television is nothing but advertisements for drugs and illness. I used to call the small awakenings little windows to the truth. I am still having little windows.

  6. Thank you, Thank you Evan. We have so much to share..Joy, Love , Inspiration and it does indeed bless and lift all. I’m so grateful for your posts.

  7. For me the secret word in Mrs Eddy’s statement is “cup” of cold water not a “gallon” of metaphysics.. She also warms us not to start a petty crossfire with the superficial and cold assertion “Nothing ails you”. S&H 460:23.
    With deep compassion live and feel the truth and we will bless others.

  8. Hardly a day goes by without someone’s tale of dis-ease. I have bravely and continually administered the letter to relatives. A mistake! They love me or they would have tossed me out!
    Christian Science is “aflame with divine Love”. I was lost in the letter, but now I know just how to be a healing influence. It’s by having pitiful patience with their fears and loving the hell out of them.
    We must love extremely, being in sympathy with error isn’t productive, but having the opportunity to pour in the oil of gladness, and doing so enlists the Christ. Healing follows.
    Long ago I first witnessed Christ, working out a healing. My apprentice was taking care of his father in law, who was suffering from the last stages of cancer. He confided in me about this very hard situation. I asked that I may come and pray with him.
    I brought my books, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures and my Bible. Sitting down at about 5:30 we began to discuss and pray for this sufferer. While we did he was banging on the wall and moaning in a back room. I started to read the trial of which Sallie spoke this morning and is found in last weeks lesson in the Christian Science Quarterly on Matter.
    When reading aloud the patient quieted down. When we stopped to discuss the sequence of events in the trial, he began to moan and bang on the wall in pain. Drugs would do him no more good. He was just hanging on.
    Soon as the reading was continued the man once again quieted down. This went on all night long till 5:30 am. My friend and his wife were attentive all this time At this early morning hour we took a break, because the trial has ended. And the man in pain was quietly sleeping. No more of the banging and moaning.
    I told my friend and his wife that their father was healed. And indeed he was! I never met the man
    and I never saw him. I left after recommending a Christian Science Practitioner for their care.
    My friend and his wife became members of the Christian Science Church at their home town. Took class instruction.
    The patient and his wife were French. They were given the Christian Science textbook printed in French.
    Sometimes the door opens and wonderful healing is welcomed. The Christ is here! You’ll know when to administer the healing truth. It will be welcomed with open arms and willing hearts.
    Thank you all for sharing this morning.

    1. David,
      Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful healing !
      -reminiscent of insight in the book ‘Mary Baker Eddy, Christian Healer’ on page 76 of her realizing the sick can be healed with Science only as the Truth of being first cast out error in the thought of both the physician and patient (casting out error then claiming the Truth of being in the Science & Health trial).

  9. Thank u everyone for all these truths shared this morning, I have encountered these challenges of the mortal thought about disease and have been praying to be lifted above all error. Instead of getting annoyed at my friends I now sit still and know that God is in control. This has helped me tremendously. Thanks Evan for this wonderful met this morning and every morning.

  10. Thank you Evan & all sharers.
    David, “ the love the hell out of them” was my first laugh of the day!
    If any of you have ever played bridge, it is the devil’s playground for sharing medical ills. My friends know I’m a C S and don’t medicate, but they don’t understand about prayer being the answer. They call it faith. Of course, it is but with understanding, I hope. I am of very mature years & have had Science all my life. How blessed I am
    Bless you all too!!!

  11. Thank you Evan for this ever-important topic as Christian Scientists. All of these experiences are all wonderful in illustrating how Christ is expressed in unique situations. I myself had an experience just a couple of days ago with some of my work colleagues.

    I work at a local movie theater which recently opened again thanks to the lifting of some restrictions. I was in a conversation with a group of my colleagues when the topic turned to coronavirus. Now, I made sure I did my daily defense work and metaphysical study before hand, so my thought would stay uplifted through my work day. One of my colleagues had shared that they were afraid and had anxiety about contracting the virus in this type of close environment. A thought came to me to share that she would be safe and protected because she was taking the necessary precautions and showed respect for others. (I am aware that Mrs. Eddy says somewhere that we are all protected when we do the right thing.) She was able to continue without anymore mention of the virus.

    I do my best to live my practice, rather than share the letter with others. Although, I will share ideas when deemed necessary. As David Brandon beautifully exemplified, I too make sure I express love towards everyone in any situation. This in turn, will only show others who you truly are, rather than trying to “force feed” Truth to someone who might not be ready for it.

  12. My sister was at a party and a friend asked her about me. She said, “Oh, she’s into some weird religion?”
    “What’s that?”
    “Christian Science.”
    Her friend kindly said, “Oh, I’m a Christian Scientist!”
    Fortunately they had I’m laugh.

    On a serious note, I keep one thought in mind to share when I am in a situation of people complaining about their health, and coincidentally, it’s also a sentence in this week’s Bible Lesson, “The central fact of the Bible is the superiority of spiritual over physical power.”
    SH, 131:10

  13. Thank you Evan for this opportunity to share thoughts about this problem, and thank you so much also everyone for your very inspiring testimonies and ideas.

    1. Angie, thank you for the CSJournal article by Mark Unger.
      It was short & to the point about “sharing the CUP of cold water in Jesus’s name.” MBE said, only a CUP.

  14. I have often tried to introduce Christian Science to many and often with sceptical results. If you see someone drowning though you throw them a rope. It is up to,them wheTher they catch it. Keep trying to
    Help. Resistance to new thinking is not uncommon. Truth is still true.
    Love is still powerful. Thanks Evan for your help on this!

  15. Thank you, Evan and thank you all for sharing. Having been married almost 50 years to a wonderful man, steeped in medical practices, it is a challenge to stay spiritually minded. However, the challenge is always compelling me higher, to deepen my understanding and love of God. Our three children had both Christian Science and medical views in their growing up years. Although the now adult children are not students of Christian Science, when they call to tell me of their challenges, it is truth that they want to hear. When they were young, the phrase, “let’s pray about it” didn’t resonate with them. They came up with the expression, “let’s reason spiritually.” When we talk now about their individual challenges, they are comfortable when I say, “Well, let’s reason spiritually about it.” I’ve come to think and speak in these terms with my medically minded friends. Many today are very open to spiritual reasoning, especially when all other means of reasoning have failed. “Reason is the most active human faculty.” S&H,p.327

    1. Sandy, what a great phrase! I, too, can feel the skepticism when I say, “Let’s pray about this.” Sometimes people are a little more open and curious when I use the word “work,” as in, “Let’s work on this prayerfully,” probably because that wor dconveys “activity” to many.

      But I really love “let’s reason spiritually.” Thanks!

      And thank you, Evan, for your daily posts.

  16. Evan, this topic is so very appreciated! I am a caregiver to folks who are not Christian Scientists, and I hear many long descriptions of illness! It is a challenge to know when to inject a simple statement of truth, and when to just be still and know that God is all. We as CS’s are in the world but not of it. I can relate to your experience Diane W., and I agree that giving this more consistent prayer is the answer. I needed this reminder today. I love the idea of giving just a cup of cold water and not a gallon of metaphysics. David, in the remarkable healing you experienced, you persistently poured in one cup of cold water at a time until it became floodtides of Love, and the full relief from suffering was achieved. Bless you for your consecration and love. It was also a blessing to those who witnessed the healing. I am so grateful for all the pure hearts that join in these spiritual meetings.

    1. Linda
      Thank you for making the connection that several small cups can become a flood tide.
      A useful reminder that a small word well placed can do a lot of good

Leave a comment!

Keep the conversation going! Your email address will not be published.

*